9 months old waking up at night...it could be separation anxiety?

[deliamar]

Hello,

My lo is 9 months and we had some problems with sleeping during the night (I posted them before and allways received help!)but most of the days he goes through the night without a problem. Two days ago he has started waking in the middle of the night calling for mommy; once I get to his room and rub his tommy or back he starts settling down again but if I stop too soon he will continue waking. Can this be a case of separation anxiety as during the day he is happy to be without me.

Please let me know if you have any tips how to help my lo during this period!

Thank you!!

Delia

[yaya]

It coudl well be SA.
Can you post your routine for us to look at and say how he is going to sleep?

[deliamar]

Hi Yaya,

thank you for the reply!

I am not very good with the terms..what is SA?

His routine is:

6.15 - 7 wake up and 20 mins later bottle

10am(around 3.5 hrs after he woke up) nap for 1.5hrs

12.30 lunch + bottle

3.30 ( around 3.5 hrs after woke up) nap for 45 - 1.5hrs

5.30 dinner + bottle

7.30 - 8 bedtime

He will normally have a full bottle at bedtime and falls asleep with it; sometimes when he doesn't fall sleep with it, we put him into bed and if he cries we will try to settle him and leave the room and come back if necessary but he can settle himself well.

Maybe because he was falling asleep with the bottle, now he is wakling up looking for me. Today for example I put him in bed awake and he started calling me and went into the room, settle him and leave him..after a couple of times I could hear him trying to settle himself until fall asleep.

I will see how it goes this night.

Delia

[Vicku]

Hi Delia,

SA stands for Separation Anxiety.

I can't see any problems with your routine, it looks good. Like you said it could become a problem that he's falling asleep with the bottle, but as long as you don't give him a bottle at night when he wakes he won't get into a bad habit of waking for one. Maybe try getting him to finish his bottle before he goes in his bed though, so he gets more chance of settling himself to sleep, it is well worth it to make toddler sleep better later on too.

When he calls you you can try just responding with voice, telling him you are right there but that it's night time and he needs to go back to sleep. If that doesn't work after a while go in and tuck him in, telling him the same things to reassure. If it's SA related it will pass as he grows, and the best thing to do is be gently reassuring but without geting onto AP habits if you can help it. He'll eventually get used to the fact you are there for him if he needs you and won't bother calling you if he goes in to a light sleep or wakes in the night, and just go back to sleep on his own.

Most kids go through a period like this though, and it will pass.

[deliamar]

Hi Vicku,

Thank you for the reply!

Well we have improved the night waking but now he is waking up around 10pm; it has been 3 days that he is doing that, so I go there talk to him and sometimes rub his tummy or arm and he is ok. The only thing is why he does it at the same time. Before he used to sleep very good at that time, any waking up will be during the night.

i though it could be because we are on holiday and he is in a different cot, but the first week he sleept well so I don't understand.

If you have any idea or something that can help, please let me know.

thanks!

Delia

[yaya]

I agree with Vick, looks brilliant and you have really cut down those NWs! Well done. If he is only needing a little bit of help to resettle at 10pm then you could try leaving him a little longer when he wakes to see if he can settle himself. Its hard I know but he could well be doing a mantra cry and not necessarily need your help.