3.5 mth old - does ballastic when put down

[NinaG]

Hi - my 3.5 mth old does not like to be put down to sleep and as a result naptime and bedtime are turning into a complete nightmare. He rarely naps for more than 30 mins in the day and as result gets overtired in the evening. Each time he is put down to sleep he screams and screams until he passes out with exhaustion. All the recommendations I have read in the BW book seems to agitate him further e.g. swaddling, shushing, even being there in the room with him (which is dark and has blackout blinds). He will not take a dummy. I'm a second time mum (first baby took to EASY like a duck to water) and do not go rushing into his room the first time he stirs but I hate seeming him so distressed.

At night once he is asleep then he will sleep for over 12 hours with a dream feed somewhere in the late evening, so I am not having a really bad time but actually getting him to go to sleep is extremely stressful and must be very unpleasant for him.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have acid as he doesn't have a pain cry when I put him down and he isn't sick after feeds. I think he just needs help to get the hang of self soothing and I was wondering if you had any other tips?

Thanks in advance

[NinaG]

Typically:

E: 6am (straight back to sleep - very easily!!!!)
A: 8.30 am
E: 9.30 am (not hungry when wakes up)
A: 10.00
S: 10.30 (ish)
E: 12.30pm
A: 1pm
S: 2pm
E: 3.30pm
A: 4pm
Bathtime at 5.45pm and in bed by 6.30pm latest having had a feed at about 6.15, and a dream feed. Occasionally wakes up for dream feed but settle afterwards with no problems.
Sleeps are v short and he won't go quietly!! I know he is overtired and his sleeps in the day need to be longer - this is where I need some advice. Thanks!!

[KathrynK]

If I am reading your routine right, then he is starting his day waking at 8.30am and then going for the first nap at 10.30am?
If so I think is your problem, 2hrs is too long for a baby this age to be awake and he is OT which is causing the short nap and that will just knock on throughout the rest of the day.
My ds is 3 months and can handle a max of 1.5hrs A time which actually is a lot for his age. (my dd could only handle 1hr 20 at this age) He takes about 10 mins to fall asleep once I put him down in the cot, so I have him back in bed 1hr 20min after waking.
I would suggest you shorten that first A time and see if that helps
hth

[Purplecattypants]

Just moving this to naps as I think they are your issue 

[NinaG]

Hi there - just a quick update. I've tried putting him down for naps over the last couple of days before he has been awake for two hours and we've been using the pat/ shush technique at nap and bedtime. So far so good - it's taking us about 20 mins to settle him but then he has slept for a min of 45 mins and today he slept for nearly 2 hrs (unheard of!!). As always,  you never know when things are going to get shaky with babies but I feel as though we are on a positive track and my little boy hasn't been screaming himself to sleep. Thanks for the advice.