Disastrous bedtime - waking up and crying within an hour - help!

[*arb*]

Every night, DS goes down somewhere around the 7:00 mark (give or take 20-30 mintues) because he is rubbing his eyes and seems sleepy. Then, like clockwork, 40-45 minutes later, he is awake and crying. Then for the next 1.5 - 2 hours, we try to get him back to sleep. Usually it ends with giving him something to eat even though he had just eaten 45 minutes or so before initially going down.

Well tonight, sure enough, at 7:45, he wakes up crying. So I let him cry for a few minutes, then spend 10 minutes trying to shush/pat/PU/PD and then decide to just go ahead and feed him. He drinks some and then quiets down. I put him down like I always do and then BOOM - his eyes are wide open and he's crying again. This goes on forever! DH is in there now trying to work some magic but I still hear the heavy cries when I know DH has put him down in his crib. It's been 1.25 hours since he woke up.

Why is he waking up after only 45 minutes? And why does it take us 2 hours to get him to settle down and sleep? We do the same - or close to the same - bedtime routine every night. He is not a good sleeper at all, but CAN go 4-5 hours without waking (yes - that is up from the 1.5 - 2 hours he was going until about a month ago. I'm pooped!)

Any suggestions for how to get him to stay asleep after the initial putdown?
Thanks,
~A

[anitad67]

how old is your LO?

[*arb*]

DS will be 5 months this coming weekend. He has a blankie that he holds on to when he sleeps. And after a brief stint of trying to not use the paci (while we were trying to sleep train by crying) we are back to using the paci. My older DS was a huge sucker - I think this DS is too. I don't think it's the paci that is waking him up. He can certainly sleep without it. Anyway...

Our schedule changes everyday. But here is a sample schedule:

up 3:35 am (tried lots to get him back down)
4:00 am - 6.5 oz(hadn't eaten since 8:05 pm the night before - this is the longest he's ever gone without eating. He was up severl times in between though.)
4:15 S
5:45 - awake (talk til 6:05 then cry, P/U, Shush, P/D at 6:15)
7:30 - A
8:15 - E
8:30 - A
9:10 - 10:25 S (in stroller - needed to be on the move, live in NYC, DS#1 class)
10:25 - A
11:30 - E
11:40 - A
12:25 - 2:30 - S
2:45 - E
3:00 - A
4:20 - 5:20 - S (in stroller again - not typically twice in one day if possible)
5:45 - E
6:00 - A
7:30 - E
7:45 - S (supposed to be for the night, but no...)
8:20 - awake (P/U, pat, shush, rock, etc.)
9:10 - S
11:20 - awake (P/U, shush, rock, P/D)
1:30 am - awake, same as above

I know I've fallen into accidental parenting, but really I am trying to get some sleep myself. This is crazy. We've been trying to get this kid to sleep more than a few hours at  time for like 2.5 months now! Physically I can not do PU/PD because it hurts my back. Pat Shush alone does not work. Any suggestions for night wakings and initial wakings when going down would be appreciated.
Thanks.
~A

[~inbalance~]

Is he teething?  When my LO was teething he would wake within an hour of going to bed, and often every hour after wards for the next few and sometimes even all night!

Another thing that will cause DS to wake early after bedtime is if he is OT.  When he was in an OT rut he was waking often after bedtime.

Hugs!  I know how frustrating it is when they wake so often and are so hard to put back to sleep!  DS is teething again and a few days ago he woke for the 2nd or 3rd time after bedtime (which was maybe 3 hours earlier) and was so upset it took forever to get him back to sleep, and the only reason he did go back is he was so exhausted from crying that he finally passed out (only to wake again one more time before finally sleeping for a few hours straight).  That night it was a combination of the teething and OT (missed his afternoon catnap - he was a mess)

Good luck!

[*arb*]

DS is definitely not getting the right amount of nighttime sleep (therefore neither am I! ) I do not rock him to sleep, but definitely use some motion - again, in a clutch situation. I will try to stop and only PU/ PD and shush/pat. I'll try to get DH to stop too. But you know when you are fed up and just want your LO to sleep? Agh! That's when it happens. We'll try hard.

Can you give me a brief description of what PU/PD entails? Do you really have to do it over 100 times like it says in the book? Do you hold then until they are just not crying or until they are truly relaxed?

As for A time, I really try to follow DS's cues. And I've been trying to make the more active activities at the beginning per a topic I read on here. That has seemed to help. I'll try to shorten A when the 45 minute naps occurs. Good idea.

Is this a 3 hour EASY I am on?

I look forward to hearing your plan.
Thanks again.
~A

*** Another 45 minute nap just now - it's getting worse! How do you get out of the 45 min. nap/OT problem when you can't get them to sleep more? ***

[anna*]

Hi!   

It sounds like you think the paci is a prop for him? Is that why you were trying to wean it? Does he fall asleep without it? Can he soothe himself without it? I'm asking because you can't use PUPD with any props (although, you can use PUPD to wean props). http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=67675.0

[*arb*]

Honestly, I don't think the paci is a problem. If anything, it helps. I don't feel he's waking up because the paci has fallen out. I wasn't trying to wean on purpose - just knew that going in to put the pacifier back in his mouth defeated the purpose of the sleep training. But we stopped all that anyway.
Last night went a little better. I read on another post that patting sometimes is overstimulating for babies - as well as picking them up. So when he cried (and of course he did 40 minutes after going down) I helped him back to his side/stomach and then just layed a firm hand on him while shushing. He protested a few times and tried to squirm back to his back (where he doesn't like to sleep) but I kept my hand there and kept shushing. It took 6 minutes for him to be completely asleep! When I went in in the middle of the night, I did the same thing and it took 4 minutes. He made it from this dream feed at 11 to 7:45 before eating again. This is a record for us! I just hope the firm hand doesn't become a prop. Could it? Right now I don't care. I'm just glad I have a new "tool" to use. These boards are great! 

[*arb*]

JAY3 - Still having problems getting DS to go down initially. He wakes up 40 minutes after going down and then takes well over an hour to get back to sleep. We feed him more to make sure he's "tanked up" and also burp again - which usually produces another burp. But after all that, he still will not stay asleep. My "holding firm and shushing" isn't even working. I think he's down and then 5 minutes later he's screaming again (like he's doing now.) You initially said you had a plan I could try. Can you let me know what that might be? I will try anything. It really sucks to spend 2 hours every night trying to get this kiddo down. It ruins my only private awake time.    Could this be teething? Or something else?
Thanks.
~A

[*arb*]

Hi - Here is my routine from yesterday.

5:15 am - wake up (this is his newest pattern) - let him "talk/complain" in bed for 10 minutes, shush/turn back to sleep at 5:30
6:40 - awake
7:00 - E
7:15 - A
8:05 - 9:35 - S
9:35 - A
10:15 - E
10:30 - A
11:45 - 1:10 - S
1:35 - E
1:45 - A
3:00 - 3:30 - S (couldn't keep his eyes open, but then 30 min. nap?)
3:30 - A
4:15 - E
4:25 - A
5:00 - 5:30 - S (again, couldn't keep eyes open, but 30 min. nap?)
5:30 - A (including bath)
6:45 - E
7:05 - down easily - with hopes for the night
7:45 - on the dot, awake crying
7:50 - 8:10 - E only 1.5 oz (I tried this bc the night b4 DH was on duty and said DS was hungry at this time)
7:50 - 8:45 - crying, would fall asleep, then wake right back up, tried not to pick him up, but did eventually
8:45 - finally asleep - made it til 12:45 before waking up again and then again at 5:15 am

I thought he did well napping yesterday - at least the first two times - so had high hopes for bedtime. But no such luck. He is still using the "dummy"/paci, but is very close to being able to grab it on his own so I am not going to take it away if possible.

Thanks for any advice you can give me!
~A