Baby never sleeps I am scared to start pu pd

[shashasharon]

So we are now at least a month into it and I still don't know how to get him to sleep through the night. I get him down no worries, its getting him to go more than 3 hours at a time. I am trying my best to be positive because when we started all this he was in our bed from the start of the evening and now he goes down nicely in his crib. I probably stay with him for too long but he just lies there and looks at his blankie and sometimes he will hug his stuffie but mostly he lies nicely and then will nod off. I know its not great but I am trying to be positive. Every night I tell myself I will stay up all night to keep him in his bed but after 2 wakes I am ready to let him come to bed with us. HE usually wakes at 1130 for a real quick pat then at 1 he wakes full on screaming and yelling. If someone doesn't reply I will try to locate my BW how to solve all your problems and see about wake to sleep. Scared but willing to try.

[IllyR]

Just wanted to offer hugs and send some sleepy vibes to your lo.  I had a problem with NWs (usually every hour as well) too and got a lot of help here.  It took as awhile but I did a trial and error of all the suggestions and several things from BW solves... and eventually we got there.  Last night she slept from 6pm to 6:45am.  So, I don't have any brilliant ideas and there was no miracle cure for us but we kept trying and eventually she got the hang of it.  Please don't get discouraged or feel like you are the only one out there up all night long.   I will say that having an exact plan for what I was going to do each night helped so that when I was exhausted I did not have to think too much. 
Do you feel like the 1 am waking is possibly just a habit of waking and wanting to go to bed with you or there is something bothering him at that time (the teething pain, etc.)?

[shashasharon]

I can't figure it out, I stopped giving him my boob. HE fights and fits and fidgets and he used to refuse his bottle he only wanted the boob and a few nights ago I got him to take the bottle and he drank 120mls so he is hungry, after that I should get him back in bed sometimes it works sometimes I fall asleep while I am feeding him. I think he is just so used to us he wants to be in our bed. But he hates it there he really fits and fidgets and throws himself around. He will sleep when I put him down, but then he is up an hour later sometimes 1/2 hr later. I feel like one day it will come together but I am so tired. I am sure if I was able to commit to keeping him in the crib all night for 2 or 3 nights in a row he would be done with it, but by 2 or 3 sometimes I am just wiped right out. Getting him back to sleep os not a problem, keeping him asleep is. LAst night I had every intention of waking him before hi woke and sure enough he cut me off at the pass and woke up 1/2 earlier than he usually does. argghhh. If you saw the 1st post we had problems with tongue tied and feeding him was of the utmost. I am now trying to see this sleeping situation like the feeding situation. WHen I treat it like that my mental state is a bit better. I know we are slowly getting there. Getting him off to sleep at 730-8 is doing the world of good for his big brothers to have me to themselves for an hour or so. It seems like the never ending saga but I try to remind myself where we were a month or so ago. Thank you everyone for your support

[IllyR]

Hang in there... 
My daughter did something similar.  She would wake up all night long and eventually exhausted I would bring her into bed with us and she would continue to be unhappy.  But for her it was a prop issue - even us standing beside her crib as she fell asleep became a prop and she would need us during the night.  Now she still wakes up several times a night but she squirms around and falls back asleep. 
Do you think that even though he can fall asleep independently at first he needs your help to fall back asleep for the NWs when he is not hungry?  Does that make sense?  In the end he may still be waking up as much, but just not so fully awake and he will just not need your help to go right back to sleep. 
I am glad it is getting better for you!   

[shashasharon]

I dont really understand the question. What I think is he seems to know once he has that 1st big sleep if he perseveres I will give in.
I read it in the book but never really fully understood. What is the difference between a prop and comfort is one good and one bad. are both good? I never really understood. Am going to get my book now to check some things. Thank you for your support.

[IllyR]

I think (and I am no expert) that a prop is anything that your child needs to go to sleep.  And they can be both good and bad.  I have lots of friends whose children sleep with a paci and it is no problem, but for my dd it became an issue and she would need it all night long and I would have to get up and get it for her.  Then as we weaned the paci the other things we were doing became props.  I would hold her hand and then if she woke up during the night she needed me to hold her hand to go back to sleep.  Even when we moved to standing by the crib she would want us to come and do that if she woke up during the night.  It wasn't until we got to the point where we put her in the crib and walked out of the room that she didn't need us to go to sleep when she woke up during the night.  Even then we gave her this certain blanket and that is definitely a prop for her (when she wakes during the night she mashes it to her face or chews on it for her gums, etc.) but it is a good prop because it is always there and she can easily access it all by herself all during the night. 
My understanding is that comfort is always good but what you do to offer comfort can become a prop if you go beyond meeting your child's needs.  With my dd we at first rocked her to sleep for naps and she got to where she needed to be rocked to go to sleep (and stay asleep).  Now I still rock her and comfort her before putting her down, but I limit it to 10 minutes and always try to put her down awake.  Sometimes when her gums are really bothering her or she is way overtired she will fall asleep rocking before I make it to the crib and I don't really worry about it because to me that is comforting her when she needs it and I just try not to make it the norm.  And so far those occassional instances haven't changed her ability to fall asleep and stay asleep on her own. 

Hope that helps some!  Good luck to you!

[shashasharon]

Thank you everyone. Even though he eats well we are going to explore the hunger route. I started keeping a log. As you can figure I am spent with this whole thing and there is nothing I can do. Just keep trying to read his cues. LAst night I managed to get him to stay in the crib until almost 5am. With lots of wakings but 5 is better than 1. The only thing is as if he knws the difference. All he knows is eventually he got brought to our bed. It is so easy to read and for people to say don't do it, however when you feel like you are going to tip over there is not much I can do. I would sleep on the floor, but my bf thinks he saw a mouse the other day so that is out of the question. I appreciate everyone's comments just feeling very very tired.

[shashasharon]

Hi everyone, we now have a baby who goes down a lot better (actually great) wakes up after 4 or 5 hrs usually can get shush patted back to sleep but then he will wake an hour or 2 later and he is insistent. Anyone have any idea how long this could take to break him of that 4am get me up habit

[lilflav]

Hello, congrats! I was thinking since he is putting himself down so well at all the others sleep times, maybe he needs a schedule adjustment?

[shashasharon]

lilflav, how do I do that? My BW book is actually in the room where he is sleeping so I can't access it. I might have stated before that I would try the wake to sleep but I haven't had the courage. (big chicken I know).  Do you have suggestions of what I could change. That last wake up kills me because he really really fights staying in his crib.
Argghh

[lilflav]

I am not the best at figuring out schedules, but you can post it & maybe something might pop out or maybe somthing will pop out to someome else?  I did w2s, LO never fully woke up from her nap/night time sleep.  You just brush them a little so they stir.  It didn't help much, but didn't hurt either.