should I do wake 2 sleep or PU/PD? Help!

[momof2in08]

Hello,
I need some advice about NW. My 8.5 month old son is waking in the night. we've had several issues with sleeping with him, and once we get on track, he is pretty quick to catch on and go with the flow. I want to do the right thing for him and it's so hard to see him having this much trouble.
he's been waking up in the night around the same time. usually around 3:00, but once he's awake he has such a hard time settling back down. It's taken up to 2 hours to get him back to sleep for good. he'll fall asleep, or seem to be asleep, but wake before I leave the room and cry or wake back up 5 minutes later. 
when he wakes up, it let him try to fall back to sleep on his own, I don't rush right in. he usually is standing up by the time I get to his room, so I put him down and rest my hand on his back. I don't know if this is more distracting to him or if it's what I should be doing.  he is restless and I can tell he's trying to fall asleep, but he crying the whole time. if I move my hand he'll just sit up and cry harder. I think this is a result of shh/pat that became a prop in the middle of the night when he was waking with teething pain and a cold. so now I know shh/pat isn't the way to go with him, but I don't know if I should be doing PU/PD or if I should try wake to sleep to try to break this pattern.  It's not the exact same time everynight, but around the same hour.
He falls right to sleep on his own at bedtime the last week or so, and I know he can do it, I just have to figure out what I'm doing wrong and if I'm making things worse for him.  naps are spotty. He takes 2 naps a day sometimes he goes down and falls right to sleep on his own, and other times, he has a hard time like he does in the middle of the night.
I don't know what to do, but I'm so tired, and I'm reaching my frustration threshold. today it took an hour to get him down for nap. it was my first attempt at PU/PD-very overwhelming!
If you'd like to see my schedule for the day let me know. I'm on a pretty good EAEAS plan for him. nursing 4 times and solids 3 times.
any ideas?!
thank you in advance!!
Heather

[Hanneli]

Hi Heather 

I think I would try to break the pattern with W2S. DD used to wake up around the same times every night and it worked great for us. If he still wakes up you still can do PU/PD.

Let us know how it goes.

[momof2in08]

I know I should do it... but I'm soooo scared!  "never wake a sleeping baby" gets ingrained in your mind! ESPECIALLY in the middle of the night!
I'll see if I have the Nerve LOL... but standing in his room for 2 hours is NO fun either...sooo we'll see.
thanks!
Heather

[Hanneli]

You are not really waking him. You just make him move slightly; for example, I streak DD forehead or touch her ear until she moves slightly. 

[momof2in08]

well, I didn't have to do W2S. he woke up at 12:40 and we couldn't get him settled until almost 3:00AM. I'd lay him down and then put my hand on his back till he settled, but he just cry. I picked him up twice, but that doesn't settle him. once he would relax a little I'm step back from the crib and say softly "your ok, your ok" if he got upset, and then I sat in a chair by his crib for a while. I couldn't get him settled! I really don't know what to do! I can't keep doing this! I also have a 4 year old and I'm useless to her when I'm this tired!!!
I don't know how it got to this point, but it's bad!

[momof2in08]

Yeah I'm only doing PD because P/U has never really settled him, he just gets angry. last night I tried it 2 times when he was really distressed, but it didn't help, so I won't be doing Pu, just PD.
Here is my typical and most recent routine for the day...
Up at 6:40 plays in crib till 7 then BF by 7:10
A  time (crawling around, playing with toys)
8:00 Breakfast of Solids (fruit and rice cereal)- this was added this week as I thought the NW was due to being hungry.
A time
Am Nap around 9 or 9:30 usually sleeps for at least an hour maybe an hour and a half
11:00 BF
A Time
1:00 Lunch of solids (1 veggie, 1 fruit)
A Time
2:30 ish PM Nap usually for at least an hour and a half or 2 hours
4:30 BF
A time
6:00 dinner (1 veggie 1 fruit with rice cereal)
A
7:15 start beditime routine
5 or 6 oz bottle (also added this week in case he's not getting enough from BF)
usually asleep by 8, 8:15 at latest.

Nap routine wind down (pull shades in room, put on music, change diaper, sit in rocking chair read a few books, Cuddle for a minute then put down in bed. if Stand up, PD. yesterday had a super hard time with naps, but today fell asleep on his own after 1 PD and walk out)

Bedtime routine is similar. bath (if bath night), dim lights, music, lotion,  diaper, jammies. Read   couple books if not too tired, nurse or bottle, cuddle on shoulder, usually too tired,and i don't want him to fall asleep on me so PD and he's been falling right to sleep without issues)

I don't know if he's not getting enough to eat, is 4 nursings enough at this age?  I added a solid meal, but cut out 1 Breastfeed. Added the formula before bed thinking he might be hungry.
maybe A Time need to be tweaked.
I'm open for ideas.
I know he's really attached to me, and has a hard time when I leave the room in the night, but I don't want him getting used to me being there for him to fall asleep!
Thanks for any help!!!
Heather

[Bobbyc]

W2S I would try that for sure..Have you had and separation anxiety with your LO?? Just wondering because you mentioned crying when you left the room..Might be something to read up on..