Desperate! 10 mo does not sleep and doc has no more advice for me

[MelP]

Hi. I am sooooo desperate. Baby wakes up all the time. Rarely will sleep for more than three hours at a time and from 7:30 til about 10:30 he is up every 20-30 min. Even my doctor has run out of ideas for me. No mother has any new advice for me either. Don't know what to do and am barely funtioning physically.

My 10 mo old is my second and he is so much more stubborn than the first. He was a really good sleeper and self soother until he was 6 mos. old. All at the same time we moved, he had minor surgery, and I stopped swaddling him at 6 mos of age. His sleeping at night got progessively worse until it was out of hand. We tried pu/pd for three mos and it never worked. He is almost impossible to soothe. We call him Dr. Jekyl Mr. Hyde because he is so sweet and mello during the day but is a nightmare at night. He will only calm down for me which means I'm up all night. He gets so angry and yells at us. He will cry for hours even though we are holding him and shushing him. He will not calm down to shushing and patting like he used to. He does not have the most stable routine because his brother has preschool and other lessons to attend to that sometimes cut into his naps. He is not teething and has not been sick for the last three months. We eventually decided to bring him into bed with us because one night I was so weak I almost collapsed with him in my arms. Yes it was that bad. I thought that bringing him into bed would do the trick because I think he has severe separation anxiety. His sleeping is better but still not good. He still wakes up frequently from 7:30 til about 10:30 or until I take him into bed with me. He will then wake up again between 3 and 4 and eat and sometimes go back to sleep but most of the time he will fight with me for a couple of hours and then go back to sleep. He is a breastfed baby and is a very low weight baby. He wasn't born too early and he eats as much as any other baby. He's just little. He's not even 16 lbs. yet. I didn't used to feed him at three or four in the morning but since I've tried everything else and he's so little I figure it can't hurt. He is a fairly good napper. He usually sleeps for an hour to two hours in the morning and then another hour to two hours in the afternoon. I don't know what else to do. I've read and purchased so many books and read so many different articles. Mentally and physically I can't take any more of it. I hate to admit this but at night I have come to resent my son and then daytime comes around and he's all smiles and I feel incredibly guilty. PLEASE HELP ME. Have no where else to turn.

Thank you, thank you, thank you in advance.

[speechie]

Hugs, honey. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.
I may be way off base asking this, but have you done a yield check to make sure he's getting enough? Mine greatly diminished around 9 mos despite my DS nursing all the time and I had to use formula to supplement...others may disagree, but it happened to me. What is he eating for solids?

It may have nothing to do with oral intake, but it stood out to me in your post.

Can you post his basic schedule for us and maybe some of the lovely ladies here would have advice?

Post like this:

wake at 7am
Eat: breast fed, solids at 8AM
Sleep:10 Am-11AM
eat: snack/lunch, etc and so on.

I do hope we can help you get this sorted out.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Since you've obviously been to the doctor, I assume you're 200% certain there is nothing physically wrong? Have you considered reflux?

Big hugs to you!

[MelP]

I have done a yield and I don't get as much as I would like but since he was 5 mos old the doctor has had him on a high calorie diet. He is extremely stubborn and refuses a bottle and only sips from a sippy. I was just at the doctor and we talked for a long time and he definitely does not have reflux. Kinda wish he did cuz then I would have some answers and solutions. The doc does not believe there is anything physically wrong with him. Let's see schedule:

wakes between 3 and 4 breast feeds
back to sleep around 5 with a big fight
wakes again between 6 and 7
Eats: solids around 8 eats 4 to 8 oz. (formula added to all solids)
Activity: hour and a half
Eats: nurses 9:30
Sleep: nap starts around 9:30
Wake: between 10:30 and 11
Eat: around 12 solids 6-8oz.
Sleep: nap starts around 2
Wake: between 3 and 4
Activity: until 7
At 6:30 we start down time with either a bath or a book
From 7 until around 12 he is up about every 20 min screaming his head off. Then sleeps until around three or four.

Please keep the questions and comments coming. I will take anything I can get. Thank you sooooooooooo much.

[Mum to Ella Rose]

k I am SO out of touch with this and I have a major refluxer BUT I will tell you what jumps out at me... since about 10 1/2 months ds's wake times needed to be longer and I need to either wake him from naps or do only 1 and deal with the resulting tiredness. He is really happy if I get this right... he is an early waker too regardless. Here's an example of our day...

wake 5:30-6
eat aprox. 6:30 and 4 oz milk
snack right before bed
sleep - down around 9 (can be a bit earlier or later depending on wake)
wake 10:30 (again can be 1 hr or 2 depends and I adjust accordingly or wake at 1 1/2 hrs)
eat 11 and 4 oz milk
sleep - down around 2 but usually at least 3 1/2 hours awake time
snack right before bed again
wake around 3:30
eat 4 and 4 oz
usually wants bottle again at 5 (8oz) and sometimes more snacks
bath just after 6
bed by 6:30 sometimes 7 if longer second nap


don't know if that helps, hope it does... my bub eats a lot of solids but he's big... 25lbs last check a month ago.

HUGS sleep deprivation sucks.

[MelP]

I was in a hurry cuz big surprise Blake was screaming and I forgot the dinner part of his schedule. He usually eats dinner around 5:30 and eats about 6-8 oz. and then nurses right before bed.

Thank you Mum to Ella Rose. I think there is something to your theory and I am going to try and make sure that Blake never sleeps past 3:00 and see if that helps but the times that he has taken shorter naps in the afternoon he passes out too early or gets way OT. But I am still going to give it a try. I am new to this so I don't understand all of the abbreviations but what does ds stand for? Wish me luck. I am going to bed and I am hoping for at least 4 hours of sleep. Lots of love and thanks for the quick responses. Please keep them coming.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

{{{hugs}}}

I was wondering about the awake times too, although I'm guessing he's OT from a lack of sleep at night. Spencer is 7 months, but about the same size as your LO and she does up to 3 hours of awake time between naps. Is he in his own room until you take him to bed? (Just wondering if he keeps waking b/c he knows you are coming eventually? grasping at straws here) Does he go down for his naps okay? I see we are posting at the same time - I try to get Spencer up from her last nap at least 2h45min from her bedtime, seems to work for now!

HTH
Heidi

[speechie]

Dropping off your hugs and some encouragement! I too had a terrible sleeper it did get better at about 14 mos and he was sleeping 8PM-6AM...It will happen eventually for you too!
DS=dear son, DD=dear daughter, DH=dear husband- there are a lot of abbreviations on here for the newbies.

Hang in there and keep consistent!

[MelP]

Ok so I have done the suggestion of increasing his activity time and decreasing his nap time and at this moment it is 12:18 a.m. and he is screaming his head off and has been for a while. I am at my wits end. How long can a person go with less than 4 hours a sleep at night? I am not usually a pessimistic person but I haven't been very cheerful in a very long time and feel like I am losing myself. Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Colin Macs Mom]

Oh Mel I'm so sorry 

This may be a stupid question, but have you seen a different doctor as well, for a second opinion? I can't seem to shake the feeling that there may be something medical going on here.

[tooblue2smurf]

Hi Mel,

Firstly I completely empathise with you. My son - nearly 10 months, second child, self soother and night sleeper until 6 months, only a couple of pounds heavier than your son, breastfed, wonderfully happy child during the day.
We didn't want him waking his brother so took him downstairs and rocked him - stupid thing to do we know but it was just easier at the time.
We had tried doing PU/PD, shush pat and taking him into our bed but nothing worked. Turned out we were doing the wrong thing for his age. Over the last three weeks we have been using the altered method of PU/PD - the one recommended for 6-8 months. It took some time and he seemed to get worse before better. He now puts himself to sleep and, for the most part, he sleeps through until 5:30am at least. Basically, this method involves using more of your voice to soothe/reassuring hand on back (but not patting as this can wake them) if speaking doesn't settle/picking up ONLY if the rest isn't working - straight away putting them into cradle hold and laying them back down, saying something like 'It's alright darling. You're just going to sleep.'
I don't know whether this is something worth thinking about - it was just because of the similarities that I thought I'd mention it. Whatever you find that works, I wish you the best!!
Sarah xxx

[dizzyone]

Just wanted to let you know that I am currently going through essentially the same thing.  I have a 6 month old son who is a great napper, we have him on 4hr. easy, but at night I'm up anywhere from 6-15 times.  We have tried everything.... everything!!  He used to use a pacifier, but we got rid of that when I realized that we were waking constantly to put it back in.  It was better for the first 2 nights then it was the swaddle.  I was waking the same amount of times to reswaddle him every night.  Got rid of that.  He coulndn't sleep because he would scratch himself like crazy.  Gave him back the pacifier... better for a couple nights.  Back to the same old thing.  Gave him longer naps, gave him shorter naps, fed him more food, changed food.... you name it we've tried it.  Tonight we put him to bed at 7:30pm and already we've been in there 3 times. 
I, too, am desperate!!  I'll be checking back in hopes that someone, anyone, has something new to try.
Dawn