4.5 Month Old Chronically Overtired -- Please Help!

[lilac83]

*Hugs* really, try not to be too hard on yourself, you're doing a great job! I know it seems like you're ignoring her when she tells you she's tired, but you're also looking at the big picture. Obviously, this is something she's too young to do yet, she doesn't know that if she falls asleep soon after waking she's just going to be more miserable during the day and at night. You are helping her so that doesn't happen!

With my DD anything over 1hr but under 1.5hrs I counted as UT. I would try to concentrate on A time though vs clock time. Set clock time naps really don't work well for most kids. So she had about a 2hr 10min A time followed by a 1hr 10min nap. I would concentrate on that amount of A time for a few days and see what happens with her naps. What is she doing during her A time? Do you think she's getting overstimulated? Or she's bored?

[WillowTree]

Hi, Robin... Thank you so much.  We had the worst day ever yesterday.  I can't even begin to describe it right now.   

I have a quick question for you:  Would you recommend that I wake DD at the same time each morning?  No matter what has happened the previous night?  For instance, she was awake from pretty much 5:00-6:00 this morning.  Wake up time is supposed to be 7:00.  (She went to bed at 7:00 last night.)

A time activities vary, really.  We read, take walks, sing songs, play peek-a-boo, practice sitting up and using a sippy cup, tummy time, rattles, mirrors, she goes "flying" around the house...   She likes to listen to me whistle.  We babble back and forth as she's nursing.  Every now and again she'll enjoy her jumper, but we haven't used it much lately because she has been tired and very cranky.  I'm pretty cautious about overstimulating her given I'm so anxious she won't nap well.  When she starts to fuss a bunch, I change activities to see how she does.  Hmm.  Do babies show tired signs when bored?  Like eye rubbing?  Maybe that's part of the problem... 

[lilac83]

I think waking her at the same time every day would probably help get her on a more consistent routine. This doesn't need to be done on the minute though, a 15 minute stretch either way is perfectly fine. My DD usually wakes up sometime within a 30min window each morning.

With her being awake for 1hr though early in the morning, she may need a shorter first A time. Or she may not and the early morning crib party was her way of saying she needs more A time during the day. Does this happen often that she's awake for awhile in the early morning? If so, is she just talking to herself or is she upset?

Tired signs definitely start turning into bored signs right around 5/6 months. If the problem is boredom, usually a change of scenery will help, which I see you already do. If you change her scenery though and she remains fussy, then it was probably a true tired cue and time for nap. One thing I notice with my DD is that she needs alone time sometimes. If I change her scenery (since she refuses to crawl even though she's 10 months ) and she stays fussy, I'll put her in her bedroom with some toys she doesn't see too often and I'll leave her alone. She'll play on her own like that for 15/20min. I think me constantly trying to entertain her just makes her mad sometimes.

[WillowTree]

DD is so confusing.  She does often wake early in the morning.  Unfortunately, she makes a mix of happy AND sad sounds.  I'd say *mostly* sad, though.  Sometimes it's poop.  Sometimes it seems like, "I'm awake but wish I weren't."  Sometimes she'll fall back asleep after 30-ish minutes, sometimes faster, sometimes longer, and sometimes not at all.  I know, I know.  I'm impossible to help.   

Gosh, if she needed more A time... I just feel like she wouldn't act so darn tired/fussy/cranky all the time?  That she'd act happier to be awake and playing?  I'm so lost as to how to figure out good A times for her.  I guess she's not "on" the routine if her internal clock still varies so much?  (She's waking too early, she's tired too long before nap time, etc...)  So maybe I should still be following Tracy's plan to the letter?  Holding DD to clock times as much as possible to see if her little body will fall in line?  Goodness, at DD's age, being up for 2-2.5 hours shouldn't be all that rough... Is staying awake a learned skill, or just something the baby has to grow into?  I know it sounds strange, but I feel like DD almost has to be taught to stay awake for longer than, like, a 2 month old would.  Yesterday DD's two long naps were each about 1.5 hours and she was STILL miserable.  Still acted tired, rubbed her little eyes... And is back-arching a sign of tiredness?  That's one she gives a good deal.

Last night was a bad one for her.  She had a hard time falling asleep at bedtime (that hasn't happened for so long -- usually she just goes straight to sleep -- and she appeared to be *very* tired) and then woke with a leaky diaper a couple hours later.  (We use Huggies Overnites and they've never, ever leaked before.  Ugh.  She was hysterical.)  So that was probably a good 1.5 hours+ taken from her night sleep.  And it's now 6:10 in the morning and I hear her stirring.  A couple of babbles followed by a very grouchy sound.  And now she's been quiet for the past 10 minutes, so I have no idea what's going on in there. 

I've definitely been trying to give her some space during playtime.  Sometimes that just seems to make her cry, though... and then she'll stop crying when I come back.  (And then start again.) 

I am just feel totally defeated.  I have no idea what to do for her anymore.  I have the world's most confusing baby. 

[lilac83]

Have you taken the Know Your Baby Quiz yet? Perhaps knowing what type of personality she has will help you better understand her. Here's the link: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0

The back arching I've only ever heard of as a sign of reflux. Actually, rubbing the face is a sign too I believe. Do you think it's possible she has reflux/silent reflux? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

Two 1.5 hour naps are really good! What A times did you use before each of those?

[WillowTree]

I am very sorry to not have replied sooner.  You have been so generous with your time and advice.  I truly appreciate it so much.  I wish I could write more, but I just can't... DD is absolutely hysterical and DH is home from work to help.

Robin, when a baby takes a series of short naps in a day, do you just give them as many naps as they need to make it through to bedtime?   

 

[lilac83]

Yes, if she is taking short naps, then shorten her A time and try to fit in more naps. It sounds like things are a bit crazy right now, if you would like anymore help you know where to find me!