Oh, real quick - regarding the soy. Yes, many babies who are milk allergic/intolerant have the same issues with soy. With Gwyneth I cut out pretty much everything - milk, soy, eggs, wheat, nuts, fish, etc. but that was due to my own allergies as a child. We had her tested and she has a big milk allergy, and some others, but soy was a trace reaction and our allergist wants her to start soy soon, he is pretty confident that it's not an issue. Sooooo - it's really your gut on this one. I personally cut it out because I couldn't deal with weeks and weeks more of "seeing" - so wanted to start with a very basic baseline diet. You could cut out all obvious and hidden dairy and soy and then slowly start adding back hidden/trace soy and see - or start w/dairy first. It will just take time. It's a hard decision, I know. Just know that it is so much easier doing it for your kid than yourself. It's strange, but I guess it's that mama gene.
Good luck - (I'm enjoying a glass of "safe" red wine - dd can't tolerate milk, but wine is a pass, lol!)