12 week old baby sleep/nap issues, help!!

[sparklesarah]

Hi all,

I wonder if any of you can help me, my lo is 12 weeks old and up until she was 8 weeks we didn't have any problems then she had her jabs, reacted badly and then got chronic constipation, Dr refused to believe she was constipated as she's breast fed and just said they can vary in how often they go which is true however she was obviously in so much pain and really windy and screamed if you laid a hand on her tummy or rolled her over to change her etc or actually most of the day for 3 weeks, she then virtually stopped feeding, I guess pain and feeling full all the time, again wasn't believed, she's probably feeding more efficiently etc so I expressed and bottle fed her so I could write down what she was taking, 6oz a day made them take notice and they prescribed Lactalose which worked ok and we are now back on track with bowels and eating and 2nd jabs passed uneventfully.

During this time she totally stopped sleeping through the day, she normally has 2-3 hour nap in the morning and again in the afternoon and has always slept well at night, usually goes 7-8 hours without waking, the night sleeping hasn't altered at all. 
She will go down for a nap but I’d have to lie on the bed and feed her to sleep or cuddle/rock her and she’d sleep for 10-20 mins and then wake cross and over tired, even walking with her in the sling or pram didn’t work, she’ll doze while I am moving but if I stopped to cross a road or something she’ll instantly start fussing so she’s not properly asleep and gets really tired as the day goes on so she isn’t playing much at all as she just does cough cough I’m tired cries straight away but either won’t go to sleep at all or goes off eventually and wakes after 10-20 mins, she although she will spend ages coo-ing at me if I stay close to her but normally will play on gym or in pram alone while I shower or do a few jobs very contentedly.

Once her bowels eased she went back to her routine and was sleeping in the day again and I’d put her down sleepy as usual and she’d drop off fine, however she has had a cold/virus for the last week and a bit and we are right back to the not napping and consequently have a very over-tired baby again who becomes very clingy and just wants be with me all the time and cries if anyone else takes her including my husband, she’ll only go to sleep at night if I sit and rock the crib and she gazes into my eyes and coo’s til she falls asleep but then still goes 6-8 hours once she’s actually dropped off.

The health visitors are not being any help and just say things like I resent the time I have to spend with her and she’s fine etc which isn’t true, I would happily spend the time playing etc if she was happy and work round how to do the housework somehow but she obviously needs the sleep and would probably recover quicker if she got it.

I would love to know if anyone has any suggestions as I would like to think I could get round this otherwise every time she gets ill I’ll have the same problem.
I’ve tried;
Walking with pram, her in my arms or on shoulders and sling,
Rocking crib, she'll lay and watch the mobile for 20mins sometimes but not drop off
Pat sshh
Black out blinds
Sleeping next to her (thought might help as she gets so clingy)
Putting her down and leaving her to see if she'll settle (not crying)

Thanks and sorry this is long

Sarah xxx

[Evgenia]

Hi Sarah!

So sorry u r havin such a hard time! I found with my dd that as she got older cold/flues and other fairly minor illnesses did not have such bad affect on her sleep/eating etc as when she was only a few months old.

A lot of things u've tried r considered AP and personally I would avoid using them as much as possible out of fear of developing bad habits. Another thing that comes to mind, u listed A LOT of things u've tried in the last short while, but I wonder have u used any one thing consistently?
I found shh pat to be wonderful around this age, but it has to be used consistently in order to work. How did it work for u? I would say with ur lo this would be the best way to go. Have u tried different variations, like say start patting on ur shoulder and then put her into her crib and continue patting there, or put her straight into the crib and start patting there. When she's in her crib where do u pat her? Her back, tummy, I used to pat on the thigh, and these days when dd is tiered and is relaxing in my arms she takes my hand and starts patting herself with it.

Do u have a wind down routine? On the days when she's OT u can start ur wind down earlier to help her relax before sleep.

Have u tried staying in the room with her after she fall asleep to help her back to sleep if she wakes up after 10-20 mins?
Maybe u could look at her activities during A time? Until u get her sleep back to normal I would try and keep her activities very low key and quite.

And most importantly does she still have a cold? If she still does its her physical discomfort (like blocked nose etc) that may be causing her to fight sleep. If she is still poorly I would leave all and any drastic measures until she is better and for now focus on easing any symptoms, helping her catch as much sleep as possible through out the day (like putting her down for naps earlier) and focusing on getting her better. I found with my dd cold etc really disturbed her routine but personally I felt a sick baby needed that extra bit of sleep more than sticking to the routine, and jus worked on getting her back on track once she was better./

Hope this helps!!! Hang in there!

[lilalley]

My DD is the same age.  Whenever I am having nap issues the ladies here have me post my LO routine in a EAS format.  Low and behold they always see something I didn't see.  I try what they say, and voila! It works.  Try posting your routine that way and see what they come up with.

[Tweakster]

Hi Sarah, sorry for all the troubles...sounds like a bit of a tough situation for you.  You have to tackle things a bit at a time.

Though I just have to say, what is up with the doc and HV?  This is case & point about how you know your LO best.  If your DD is a regular charlie then all of a sudden stops pooping with no real change in diet...something is usually up.  At least that finally got sorted.  And HV saying you are resenting your time with her...what??  Seems like a very odd thing to say.  Can you request a new HV?  I'm not sure how it works but at this stage of the game support is crucial.

When a LO gets OT it becomes a cycle, with all short napping it sounds like she is into a bad one.  You usually have to clean this up first before you can go ahead with tweaking a routine.

12 weeks is entering the crazy sleep time.  They are becoming so 'aware' of you and their surroundings and all the new things they can do, sleep is just not fun anymore.  Usually by 3 months they have their night sleep worked out (which appears she does) but day sleep takes a lot longer, 6 months sometimes...or longer if you read any of these other posts lol.  Developmental milestones, illness, teething, routine changes, the list goes on...all this stuff can totally change things up and affect the routine. 

As pp mentioned, could you post your EAS for us so everyone can take a look and hopefully offer some advice for you.

Hugs!