Offer something else after refusal of first item?

[rayasunshine]

Okay so I was just curious as my 10 month old dd sometimes doesn't want to eat what I have made for her, do I give her something else in hopes that she may eat it or not offer her anything else at all?  For instance the last couple of mornings she doesn't want to eat her english muffin or waffles so I have given her dry cheerios instead, which she has eaten.  My friend said that if I continue to do that then she will realize that I will offer her something else if she doesn't want to eat what I've given her.  What are your thoughts on this matter?  I also know that she is teething right now so she is a bit picky about eating.  Otherwise she is a great eater and we don't really have any issues with food.  I don't know if she is getting bored of what I am giving her even though I try to switch it up.  Thanks for the insight in advance.

[LizzieN]

Ok I'm no expert but this is what I would do.  Offer her several little different bits on her plate at once so she can choose what she would like to eat.  That takes away the food refusal and the food substitution issues but also allow her to choose what she feels like with regards to teething and food preferences.

When I prepare snacks for my LO (who is 12 months) I put several different fruits, or some fruit and a biscuit etc all in the one bowl...he usually eats the lot (he is a good eater thankfully) but if he prefers something I can watch and take note for next time

The other thing to remember is just because she doesn't want something today doesn't mean she doesn't like it so keep offering things you would particularly like her to eat, just offer with other things as well   That's what I would do, but I am new so I hope it's good advice!!

When they get older and start refusing food because they are being naughty I probably would take a different approach because that is more of a boundary pushing behaviour, but not at 10mos.

Good luck.

[Mimi 2]

Great advice Lizzie!  I would do as Lizzie suggested.  Offer a couple of things (a favorite and something new), if she is hungry she will eat something. 

[rayasunshine]

Thanks ladies, I figured that was what I needed to do.  It just sucks because you end up wasting so much food sometimes.  I'm hoping this food refusal will go away soon.  I figure she's going to live on pasta, cheese and some other things until she gets back to her normal eating everything self.

[Mimi 2]

Food refusal is very normal.  DS was such a great eater until he decided that he has an opinion.    Just keep offering and try not to place so much food on his plate.  If he finishes then offer some more.  For sanity sake's don't fret over each and every meal.  Just look at his food intake over the course of a week and everything just kinda balance out.  Also try to be innovative in what to offer as meals and snacks.  For example yesterday dd and ds had rotini pasta with Alfredo sauce (for ds) and Ceasar dressing (for dd) as a very big mid afternoon snack & fish sticks for dinner.

[LizzieN]

Small bits and pieces throughout the day as snacks and not too much emphasis on meals (mainly so it doesn't stress you out) seems to be the go when they start getting fussy doesn't it??!!!  Any chance you can compost the scraps and then grow yourself a nice tomato plant in a pot or something like that??
She will get back to normal eating if you persist I'm sure

[rayasunshine]

I like how you suggest to just look at food intake over the week, Mimi, I actually look at it daily and it usually works out.  She usually has at least one really good meal, in todays case it was about 2 good ones.  But it's frustrating nonetheless.  Lizzie you've got a great idea there, I'll see if there is some way I can compost...Overall, I'm trying not to show my frustration but it's not easy.  It's also really hard to make sure she has well balanced meals.  I'm pretty sure we don't get the correct fruit and veg servings in at all.  Should I be totally concerned about that?  We are seeing the doctor for her 10 month check up so I will ask her as well.  Thanks!

[Mimi 2]

No don't get too concern about getting the correct servings for each and every meal.  You will go bonkers if you do.  If you think that she needs to eat more veggies or fruits or meats then offer that food group first and foremost for the next meal or snack.  There's nothing wrong with having veggies as a snack by itself or even a meal. 

At this age, just make sure that she's getting enough milk feeds.  The solids are just for taste and fun.  Until she learns to make her own meals, the only thing you can do is control what to offer and when to eat.  The rest is up to her.

[LizzieN]

Hey I hear you on the frustration but mine is with my 6yo step daughter.  I dish up a meal for my 12 month old DS and my DD...almost the same amount too and DS eats it in about 5 seconds flat (slight exaggeration) and DD sits there fiddling and being reminded to chew every 30 seconds for about 30 minutes (not exaggerating on that sadly)...
...It is incredibly frustrating but I just keep reminding myself, it's good food, it's nutritious and it is important that she eats and that I help her (she gets a lot of crap in her diet from her other family) to realise that eating healthily is important...then if I feel like allowing her a treat too I know she has had good food  

Hang in there, if you are able to allow your LO to try heaps of different things now (and keep introducing a wide variety even though it can be a bit wasteful) you won't be throwing out plates of good food six years from now, and believe me that is much harder to deal with!!!

Sorry if that sounds like a rant, but you are doing great and if you can avoid picky eating by addressing it now you are doing yourself a HUGE favour
Good luck!!

[rayasunshine]

Thanks so much for the feedback regarding the correct servings Mimi, it's nice to hear that I don't have to be overly anal about it.  She's getting good food and gaining weight and bfing so we're all good.  And thanks for the encouragement as well ladies, it makes dealing with this alot easier.  I am definitely trying my hardest not to create a picky eater.  Today she ate okay at breakfast, good at lunch and so so at dinner, it all balances out.  If she's hungry she'll let me know.  Thanks for the support you all rock!

[b0nni3]

Hey Lizzie, apparently I was the same as your daughter (my mother said she spent 2 hours chasing me around the house making me eat) until I was 8 or 9. But after that I LOVED food. And my brother, who is 22 years old, is still very similar!! We're all done at the dinner table and he's only made it through half his plate. But he also loves food. So, combination of age and slow eating as a preference!

[LizzieN]

Yeah she is definitely faster if it's something she really likes and she is improving heaps on what she was like (we were lucky because although she was picky in the early days mostly what she liked was healthy food)...I think it would be incredibly ironic if she decides to become a chef or something I'm sure she will expand her tastes and hopefully realise that good food doesn't have to be boring....Fingers crossed!!

rayasunshine, you are doing a brilliant job just keep at it and you will all be fine.  LOs all go through picky eating at some stage and you will have heaps more idea of how to handle your LO the next time she does, the rest of us will be floundering around wondering where our good eaters went to LOL