fighting me and sleep

[rayasunshine]

Ok going to try to keep it together. I've just spent 2 hours trying to get my 10.5 month old dd to sleep.  I feel crappy because she cried for a big chunk of this time.  Firstly, I rock her to sleep and she has a paci, all which are problems I know.  I've increased her A time and I can't seem to get it right and I think over the last 2 weeks she has been getting ot.  I am dealing with multiple nw and some ew.  I think she is also in the process of the 2-1 nap transition so it's not fun. 

I would like to stop rocking her as my back just can't handle it and the fact that she is fighting me so much on it.  She wants to go into her crib and instead of sleeping she thinks it's play time.  She has just started to stand and has been cruising the furniture for a few weeks.  When I put her in the crib she stands in one corner and cruises the crib and talks to herself.  If I try to leave then she cries, I let her cry until her cry changes and then I go in to try to help her. 

I have't done p/u p/d as I'm not ready to get rid of the paci, I'd like to hold onto to that until after she has transitioned into daycare and also because it would be rather hard on my back.  I am thinking about doing w/i w/o but feel very horrible about doing that to her.

I'm at a loss, I wanted to cry tonight but couldn't because I didn't want her to feel me crying, this is the most frustrated I have been recently in regards to her sleep. 

I don't even know if this post belongs here or somewhere else.  If it needs to move please move it but I really need some help sorting this out.

[LizzieN]

Hey sweetie, huge hugs firstly..Hang in there things will improve.  Firstly do you think the paci is a prop for your LO...do you think that she is NW because she loses it? 

The other thing I am wondering is why  you think she is doing the 2 to 1 transition, she may well be on the way it just seems a little early to me (but I'm not an expert and you not trying to suggest you don't know your LO 'cause you do ). 

Is she teething at the moment 'cause that can cause lots of NWs and problems with settling where there were none before.  With our LO it also seems to make him tired early but still not quite ready for sleep (I'm watching him AND the clock a lot at the moment!!).

Ok I'm not sure about using WI/WO with shush pat and paci use but perhaps you would be better using gradual withdrawal if she really gets upset when you leave the room.  Remember absolutely no eye contact with her while you are in there and as little contact as possible. I found when doing PU/PD with my LO my presence was too stimulating for him and I found him too frustrating jumping up every time I put him down (this does pass by the way) so WI/WO was the only answer for us!!

If you think it may be teeth, try teething gel, there are herbal teething tablets and a dose of Tylenol/Panadol at bed time can really help.  I don't like medicating my LO if I'm not sure there is a problem, but trying it once may answer some questions for you if you are wondering about teeth

If you think that the paci is becoming a prop and don't want to do PU/PD you could always try gradual removal

Good luck sweetie, hope you get some more help soon

Hugs
Lizzie

[rayasunshine]

Hi Lizzie, thanks so much for your reply.  The paci is definitely an addiction, however, she is able to replug herself at night.  Also, when I do go to deal with a nw she already has the paci in her mouth and is standing in the crib waiting for me to get her.  I want to hold onto the paci for her until she does the transition to daycare.  What I really want to do is get her sleep sorted out and stop rocking her.

The reason why I think she is doing the 2-1 transition is because I posted in the EASY forum and that's what they suggested.  Plus the fact that her am nap seems to be pushed later and later in the am.

Regarding teething, I don't think she is because she is showing no signs of teething.  And she doesn't seem like she is in pain, her cry is different when she was teething.

I think you are right and the gradual withdrawal approach would probably work best because her SA is pretty bad especially in the evening.  She doesn't even let daddy put her to bed at night.  As soon as I start to walk out of her play area she starts to cry.  I need to find more information on the gradual withdrawal.

Tonight it took me just under an hour.  She didn't fight me until the very end when she was asleep but something woke her and then she was ot.  She had an hour morning nap and then I let her sleep until she woke for her pm nap which then pushed her bedtime back by an hour.  Oh well at least it wasn't a total fight and neither of us was in tears.

Thanks for your reply Lizzie and hopefully I'll get some more suggestions soon.