sshh pat, windown etc...will this work?....is shh pat forever???!!!!

[annette.xx]

Hi all

my LO is 15 weeks old and I have been using BW for about 5 wks now....I had already spent 4 wks previous teaching her to nap and she was getting much easier to settle....

after 2 wks of BW i had amazing success and DD was settling within 5 mins of sshh pat....I though fantastic!!...all was great until last week...now im back to square one......

its taking me over 30 mins of sshh pat to get her to sleep and she will not settle unless I stay with her....strange cos I only had to sshh pat a few times and she would happily lie there awake and send herself to sleep!!!

she did have jabs last week...maybe this could be part of problm??

I have played about with her routine and realised that sometimes im putting her down too soon.....I was getting advised that she was OT...and I really thought this was the case.... but today I went back to 2 hrs A time and it felt much easier to get herdown....although sshh pat still took ages in cot!!!!!


I gave extra long wind down...took her in my room and did quiet tummy time cuddles for 5 mins, sat on bed with her lightly bouncing on my knees for 5 mins and stared in mirror with her while dancing for about 15 mins....before this no tired signs and at end she was really calm and sleepy looking......


I then went in her room and did usual 4 s....switched on fan, sang twinkle,twinkle ,swaddled her, cuddled her against me while doing a few sshh and patts then lay her in cot for the rest of sshh pat.......


she seemed so calm I thought id be able to stop early on but I left after 10 mins of shh pat and she called me again so I went back in and only had to do 5 mins....and she settled.....


Im just worried that cos we have gone backwards she has become dependant on sshh pat and now i darednt leave and stop shh pat until shes in deep sleep....am i doing it too long?...how do I gradually cut it down again??.....


should I do this long windown the same everytime?. ...is the dancing bad cos its jiggling her ...i dont let her fall asleep doing it just really calm her....


i did also take a tip from another lovely mummy about rolling towels up under sheets and I think this has made her feel more snug and made naps longer today (im sure its a one off!!!).....


sorry for long post (as always with me!!!) ...lots of info...just wondered what you guys thought to what I am doing and if i could do anything better!!!


Annette.xx

[LizzieN]

Hello beautiful,
welcome back! Wondered how you were both doing...sorry to hear that you've had a bit of regression...

Are you shush patting when she is calm or only crying?  When our LO calmed down I would slow the pat and the shush until I just had a hand on him (quite firm) and then I would gradually remove the pressure.  As you know we had issues with reflux so it's only been recently that we have had real success with self settling but I took a similar approach....As time went by and he was calming down easier I intervened less and less...

Initially I would leave my hand on him until he fell asleep, and stayed in the room until I was sure he was asleep. Then I started removing my hand earlier, but staying in the room while he fell asleep (I WI/WO when he was doing the initial settling down) until now I don't have to be in the room and usually he settles down and goes off to sleep with little or no help (not in the pm nap, but mornings and night is good)...perhaps you could try something similar with Jasmine???

If having a little dance together is something you enjoy and something that helps her to wind down I don't see any harm, only a problem if it's something you don't want to continue with.

When she calls to you, is it an escalating cry (getting louder and more insistent) or is it a mantra cry (this is often how they settle, my LO still cries while he is settling, but he isn't distressed)...I found I was intervening too soon with our LO and recently his cries have changed a bit, I'm playing catch up again at the moment!!  Before you rush in have a good listen and see if you can pick which type of cry it is, go in if it's a real one and just listen if it's not

So happy to see you posting again   Hope you are all well even though things are a bit harder again at the moment
big hugs
Lizzie

[annette.xx]

Hi again!!!

Thanks for your speedy reply!!....

when sshh patting I have to do it until she stops crying and after as well now!!!...as soon as i slow it down or queiten down she starts up with the crying again!!!....how do I get around this!!!...im scared to stop cos everytime I think ive got her I actually havent and then it all starts over again!!!!

the crying I think ive knida got figured out...she does the mantra cry alot inbetween sleeps ...at lunch nap she always wakes at 45 mins does a little cry then goes back to sleep........but when I stop sshh pat she does louder cry...i think!!!!...its really hard to tell sometimes!!!!

I often let her cry for just a minute so I can listen and know what to do!!!!

im going to keep trying...oh there she goes!!!

Annette.xxx

[LizzieN]

Sweetie I'm thinking you might want to go over to the props board and read over there, 'cause I know a lot of mums do find that shush pat becomes a bit of a prop...perhaps they have more specific ideas about how to reduce your intervention with this, also from about 4 months you can start using PU/PD (this is often used to wean babies from prop addiction) so you might end up using a bit of a combination to get out of your LOs room again...

Good luck lovely