E.A.S.Y. and baby just started going to a babysitter. Mom is back at work

[Havah]

This my first time posting. My son will be five months on Saturday.  I have been following the plan now with my son for a few months. Some days are harder then other. It seems that my son is used to the routine and schedule.

E: 7:30am
A: 8:00
S: 9:00am
Y:
E: 11:00am
A: 9:30
S: 1:00 or 1:30pm
Y
E: 3:00pm
A: 3:00
S: 5:00-6:00pm ( sometimes. he struggles with taking this nap)
E: 6:00pm
A: 6:30 ( Bath and Reading)
S: 7:30pm

He still goes to sleep with the pat/sh method. Once he settles down a bit, I place my hand on his back and he falls asleep. he falls asleep withing 5-15min. It works so well for him.

I went back to work this week,and he has been going to a babysitter. I told her about the schedule that my son is on, and explained to her what needs to be done to put him to sleep. It seems that she is not using my method, and my son is not sleeping well over at her house. I pick him at 3:30pm and he is exhausted. I tried telling her, that I would come over during the day, and put him to bed. ( she lives across the street from my work).When I picked my son up yesterday, he was sleeping in her arms. She stated that she has raised 5 kids, and she knows what she is doing. She is an amazing babysitter, and she takes really good care of my son. How do I express my concern to her about the naps in a nice way. I want my son to remain on his schedule. He was doing so well. It will also make her day a lot easier, since she takes care of two other children.  It also is messing up his night time routine.

[Tansy]

I think you need to put it clearly to her that you are paying for a service and you want it done a certain way. Not only will it help her in the long run but it will be difficult for you if she doesn't keep it up. If she is rocking him to sleep than he is going to want you to rock him to sleep and he will quickly fall out of the routine. All the effort you have put in will have been for nothing. Have you maybe asked her to read Tracy's books?
If she still doesn't want to do it, give her a time schedule for his activity time and insist you will be over to put him to sleep at the sleep times. (if that is do-able) Maybe then she will see how it works so well for your lo.

The fact that she is looking after other children could definitely prevent her from wanting to put the time and effort in. I know i am worried about sleep training my next bub with a toddler running around. Maybe try talking to her about that and seeing whether that is the issue.

Either way though, your babysitter is there to please you and if you want your son to be brought up a certain way, she shouldn't argue with that. Despite the fact she has brought up 5 children, it is not her place to tell you how to bring up your child. If she has a major problem with it, she shouldn't accept the job at all.

I hope that helps a little. I realise you want to be nice, but the underlying issue is that she needs to respect your opinion. Otherwise it could mean so much extra work for you and an overtired, unsettled baby.

[*Liz*]

Ooooo - not ideal is it? And difficult to handle.

Perhaps just explain why you want him to nap in the cot? And see if she will do it for a week or so to see if things are any better. Did you ask why your lo was napping in arms? Was it that they had refused bed and she had ended up doing that instead?

Some los do take some time to settle into a sleep pattern with another person so might just be a bit of a teething problem since the this is all new to him.

I would give it a week or so to see if it settles. But I would ask your sitter to try the cot first for all naps. I think even if she has raised 5 children your ds is still new to her and you do know your son best. So please don't feel bad about saying 'its works best for us this way'.

I'd like to see someone try and put J to sleep in their arms - he would fling backwards, bite, scream, scratch. I guess that would put a stop to it though  . Lie him in the cot and he'd be out in minutes!!!

[Havah]

I am going to talk to the  babysitter tomorrow morning. I have the flexibility to go over during the day and put him to sleep. My son is over tired when I bring him home, and I do not get to spend anytime with him. I get home at 4:00pm. Feed him dinner, bath him and put him to bed at 6:00pm now. I don't know what else to do. I can see in his eyes he is exhausted. The babysitter said he had one 2min nap this morning, and slept for an hour in the afternoon. I don't know where he slept and how she put him to bed. I am so aggravated about this. The babysitter is so nice, and I can see she is taking very good care of my son. I don't want her to think I don't trust her.

[~*Nicole*~]

I think if you were to explain to her that when he does not nap well, he does not sleep well at night and that you are up often and exhausted and unable to function properly at work (fib a bit if need be!). This way you could bring it up in a way that says, I know you did a great job raising your kids, but if you could try to lay him down and have him settle himself to sleep it would be a huge help to me b/c he'll sleep better at night and if/when he DOES wake up he can put himself back to sleep without crying out and needing me to rock him at 4 am!

I used this tactic with my mom who watches DD everyday....since she wasn't really buying into reading Tracy's books or reading the info online here....and it has helped. She doesn't do everything the way I would, but has tried to alter her approach to getting DD to sleep which was my biggest concern.

Best of luck.