Help!!!! Catnapping, w2s and 4hr EASY questions....

[alvas mom]

Hi, is there maybe somebody out there who can help me…..??

My baby girl is now 5 months old and is a cat napper since she is 6 weeks old!! She is always sleeping exactly 30min. sometimes very rarely she sleeps 45min. When she wakes up she is mostly grumpy or cries and I know she needs more sleep.

I can not remember exactly but I guess 6 weeks ago I started trying to extend her naptime. First I started to put her on a 4hr routine, put blackout curtains on the window and played white noise. Then for one week I tried to shh/pat, but it did not work so I let her sleep on my arm after the 30min. to get her/body clock used to a longer sleep.
After this week I sat next to her bed for the 2-3 weeks and had more and more success with shh/pat, but I always had to give back her dummy. So we decided to wean her off the dummy and also I was too exhausted to sit in her room for any longer. Since then, 10 days ago, she is without a dummy and we leave her in her bed for 1 hr after she wakes up. We just go in if she really cries.

Most of the time she will again fall asleep after 10-25 min., which I think is a success. But after 1-5min. she wakes again, cries/protests for another 3-5min and falls asleep again. This can go on for the next hour or until I get her up. So she is able to fall asleep on her own, but something is keeping her from to staying asleep.
Is somebody having the same problem? Is it maybe reflux?

Today I had success with w2s, she slept for 1hr!!! I went in after 25min and she stirred and fell back to sleep. I also try to keep things low 1/2hr before sleep time.
My question is do I then go in again for the next sleep cycle? And if yes, when should I go in? If she always sleeps ½ hr should I then again go in 5min before the next sleep cycle is due?
 
I also do not understand how the 4hr EASY routine should work, if the bub is a cat napper and does not sleep the expected time. If I would put her down 2hr after she woke up, everything including 4hr feed times would be mixed up, after 2 days. Or do I try to keep her up as long as possible? That is what I have tried the last weeks, but it is horrible, because she gets so tired. This is the routine we are trying:

E 7.00 – 7.15am
A 7.15 – 9.00 am
S 9.00 – 9.30 am, sometimes I can extend a little bit longer, but the hope is till 11.00 am

A 9.30 – 11.00
E 11.00 – 11.15
A 11.15 – 1.00pm, if she just had her ½ hr nap, it is nearly impossible to keep her awake
S 1.00 – 1.15 pm

A1.15 – 3.00
E 3.00 – 3.15
A 3.15 – 4.30
S 4.30 – 5.00

A 5.00 – 6.15, there is now way to try to keep her up any longer…
E 6.15 – 6.30
S 6.30 – 3.00am, including dream feed at 10.30pm
E 3.00 – 3.15
S 3.15 – 6.45/7.00

If somebody has an answer to some of the questions, that would be so great!!!!!
Thanks so much!!!!

[Evgenia]

Hi, sorry to hear u r having tough time.

First in regards to reflux, I would presume at 5 months u had a few check ups with a GP and a Nurse, and if so far ur lo has not been diagnosed with reflux I would highly doubt she would have it now. Don't have much experience with reflux, but from what I hear and read here the simptoms are quite severe and u would not miss it.

Since w2s has worked I would stick with it for a while. Next time she's down for her nap I would keep doing w2s for every sleep cycle and see if it would work. As u said I would go in 5 mins before the end of the cycle. I found with my lo w2s only worked for the first sleep cycle and I had to use shh/pat for the rest of the nap.

Someone will correct me if I am wrong, but as far as I rmember waking up few mins after going to sleep indicates that the lo is OT. I'll double chack it and get back to u on that one.

Hope this helps

[Catzsz]

Hiya.
Its a nightmare isnt it?
What do you do to settle her down for her naps? 30 mins apart from being fairly ingrained can be due to Ot/Os, inadequate wind down etc, you could play with this to see what works?
Are you staying with her to make sure she gets past the jolt? This will also contribute highly. Keep in mind as well while your battleing this that if she's been having the short naps (i dont know if its the same with 30 min naps but I kno its a factor with 45 min naps) that even tho you may have found just the right A time you'll still have to get her in the habit of sleeping longer.

Looking at  your Easy I'd guess she's getting OT after her first kip, and this continues throughout her day she will be very tired after the short sleep so you could put her down after a shorter A time, about 30/40 mins?. If she were to have at least 1hr15/30 min nap you can then realistically expect her to manage the two hours til next nap so you kinda have to adjust your easy accordingly.
Although she's going to sleep at a few points in her nap, and as she's unable to stay asleep for long I may be wrong but I suspect she isnt able to settle herself reliably just yet, but this could be a lot in part to Ot?

Have you tried moving up to PUPD instead of pat/shh?

You could try this a couple of ways.
1 with that first nap stay in there for the 30 mins using pu/pd pat/shh combination to get her through it, keep with the w2s if that works (less hassle). If she still wont stay down (give about 20 mins to keep her down after the 30min wake up) have a low key time out for ten mins and then try again, making sure that even if you just manage to get her up for the E. If she only had a very short kip again have a short A time again and following her her ques and put her down after wind down and keep going as you try and get a min 1hr15-30 min sleep out of her, keep her feeds as you have been 4 hrs apart. At this point your trying to teach her to stay asleep.
Keep at it til she starts sleeping longer stretches and your Easy starts looking like an Easy which will take a few days to a few weeks.

2. Force a 4 hr routine which Tracy rec if your Lo has never had a routine and the only time she rec watching the clock rather than your baby as your trying to totally re set their inner clock. Get some help with this if you can.
Basically as you have for your first easy cycle, start wind down 20 or so mins prev put down to sleep, you want eyes shut by 11am ish, use pu/pd/patshh to get to sleep if need be. When she wakes up continue to pu/pd/pat/shh if w2s not worked  if not settling to get her back to sleep for the rest of the entire napake a very quiet time out if she isnt sleeping every 40/50 mins if you need to.
Whether she hasnt slept or has only had 10 mins wake her again at 11 for her feed and then keep her up by whatever means til 20 mins or so before her next nap at 1pm and start wind down and aim to have her asleep by 1pm. Again I'd stay and watch her for her 30 min nap and she will hopefully give you about an hour but if not, as with the last nap continue pu/pd with quiet break til 3pm then again, even if she's only just fallen asleep get her up and feed her but hopfully you should get a little longer out of her. Again keep her up and she will be exaughsted, keep with her 5pm cat nap which by this point she should give you the 45 mins!
Start again the next day, by day two, at the worst day three you should start seeing some 1hr 15-2hr naps. Keep a log so that you can see any progress. Its kinda like your making her fit into the 4 hr easy, its ok if she veers off a bit here and there.

You may still have issues with the short naps since they have gone on for so long but just keep using w2s and/or pu/pd to extend them and they should start getting longer either way.
We had to Force a 4hr easy with my ds several weeks ago and it took 12 days before he managed to get through ALL his short naps alone, but during those 12 days it got easier and easier to resettle him.
Hth

[alvas mom]

Hi Evgenia and Catzsz,

thanks so much for your quick response.

Catzsz, just some questions to make sure i understand you correct:
I was trying to force her into the routine since 3 weeks now, do you recommend sticking to it as tracy said or do you think she will get more and more OT as you also said?

Most of the times she is not waking crying, just whining or starting to protest. Do you still think i should use PUPD? I was thinking it would just be used if the baby is really crying, am i wrong?

In your first suggestion you are saying i should try to get 1hr15-30 out of her by getting her up for 10min, then back to sleep
do you think it this way:
9.00 - 9.30 sleep
9.30 - 9.50 wait if resettle (20min)
9.50 - 10.00 get her up
10.00 - 10.30 hopefully sleep
10.30 - 10.50 resettle
10.50 - 11.00 get her up
11.00 - 11.15 eat
11.15 - 11.45 sleep
11.45 - 1.00 awake time, etc...

thanks...

[Catzsz]

Hiya Alvas mum.

This is a really hard place to be cos your dealing with several problems at once and each has a knock on effect with the others, like you say how do you get Easy in place when you cant get a good nap in place and its sooo hard to see the woods for the tree's. Added on top you have a chronically short napper and a routine that just isnt happening.  You also need to do some detective work and watch your dd, what clues is she giving you?

Firstly if w2s is working to get a longer nap keep at it for each and every nap, this could take as little as a few naps to get her to start doing it herself or two weeks and will make your life much easier.

Ok, I was trying to force her into the routine since 3 weeks now, do you recommend sticking to it as tracy said or do you think she will get more and more OT as you also said?
Somthing is going on here if its still not working, it should have kicked in by two weeks.


Yeah she will get more and more Ot as the day goes on but her body clock will start adapting and she will basically give you that first  longer nap out of sheer exaughstion. Combined with Tracy's 4/4 routine is also a lot of sleep training so not only are you getting tnat routine in place, your sleep training her.
Right if you were to "Force a 4/4 routine" lets have a quick look at your day and see whats happening.

E 7.00 – 7.15am
A 7.15 – 9.00 am
S 9.00 – 9.30 am, sometimes I can extend a little bit longer, but the hope is till 11.00 am Yep this is right except you would conyinue patting if not really screaming/pupd if really upset til 11am. The quiet 10 min break is just to give you both a small break so you dont scratch your own eyeballs out then you go back in and keep at it til 11am. Avoid all AP when trying to get it established or it will set you back

A 9.30 – 11.00Lets assume you have been patting/pupd til this point, your dd may have only slept a little while or not at all but you get her up anyway for her 11am feed to keep it on the 4 hr track yeah?
E 11.00 – 11.15
A 11.15 – 1.00pm, if she just had her ½ hr nap, it is nearly impossible to keep her awakeIts a nightmare isnt it! but thats what you do, keep her awake and about 12.40 start her wind down and aim to have eyes shut about 1pm. Do w2s to try and keep her down, if that doesnt work pat/pupd. Take that 10 min break if you need to and then go straight back in and keep going. I would think you should get a bit more of a sleep in this one but maybe not. Again wake her/get her up at 3pm to get that feed
S 1.00 – 1.15 pm

A1.15 – 3.00Try and keep her awake til nearly 5, 20 mins before hand again with the wind down
E 3.00 – 3.15
A 3.15 – 4.30
S 4.30 – 5.00Start wind down 20 mins before and aim for eyes shut at 5ish, you should get the whole 45 mins at this point because she will be absolutly shttered. Do your w2s, if that doesnt work pat/pupd for 45 remainder of nap


Gonna veer here.
5.45 get her up, bath into jammies and feed at 7pm then put down.
A 5.00 – 6.15, there is now way to try to keep her up any longer…
E 6.15 – 6.30
S 6.30 – 3.00am, including dream feed at 10.30pm
E 3.00 – 3.15
S 3.15 – 6.45/7.00


By day two you keep using w2s and patting/pupd because its ingrained and you will probably keep having to do this for up to two weeks but it gets easier and she will start to stay down. When you have to pat her back down, make sure you do it past the jolts, you know for twenty mins til in deep sleep otherwise your still walking away with a job half done and will keep setting yourself back to the beginning.
But you should start seeing is that she will get easier to settle back down, at this point still stay the full twenty mins after eyes shut (take a clock in with you) but pat a little less and less. and more gently, you may have to pat harder at first til she settles into it then go more gently. She may start fidgeting when you stop but use your instinct as to whether you start patting againg for another few mins or not, does she look like she will settle herself? Its a bit of a gamble but worth it and every time she manages it alone is another point in her corner and a step nearer. When you get to the point where she will only need a few pats to settle, back off and watch if she will sort herself out. At this point you will hopfully be in the place where you can pat for a few for reasurrence then leave.
Then you can experiment with not w2s, if she wakes and doesnt settle just use patting back to sleep, not too scary hopefully since its easier to resettle her but even with the resettling at the 30 min you will be getting the 1.5 hr/2 hr nap. Its ok if she wakes after 1.5 hrs just adjust your easy so she goes back down 2 hrs after the time she wakes?

Things that may help, my two ds's liked to be patted really firmly it almost looked brutal!
Have you introduced a lovey, if not do so. Try not to AP at all, it will set you back when forcing a routine and i cant rec enough staying the full 20 mins... Hopfully it will only be for a few days/week max at which point you may be able to back off a little more and more.
Hope this makes sense i'm awful at explaining. Gotta sort kids out and will get back with my next noval on the other way.

[Catzsz]

Hi again, its me the longest Post writer in history, and pretty crap at that, I mean look at my spelling!

Anyway, where the 4/4 forced routine works from the routine up and you watch the clock, the other way you work from the nap up and you watch your baby and do what you can to get a good nap, its more following your baby and guiding her routine.
In 4 hour easy I find it helps to look at it per cycle of easy rather than the whole day.

30 min naps are typical of OT and OS. Also contributing are inadequate wind down and routine.

Right, watch your dd and keep a log for a few days, what are her tired signs and how long into her A time does she give them? Is she breast fed, does she feed from both hoobies? Does she need more intake? Some babies need less A time and others more. My oldest could only handle 1hr40 mins A time and would sleep 2 hrs right up til she was 8 months. Ds1 needed more A time, 2hr 10 from four months and always had 1.5hr every nap. This ds is exactly as it says on the tin. Just keep this in mind when your working on this.
What do you do for her wind down, does it need adjusting? Touchys tend to have less wind down since they cant cope with too much fannying around.
Do you do the same thing every time you put her down, and when you re settle her?
If you Ap this will confuse the issue when your trying to establish good sleeping habits, more than 3 times and you've got a habit.
Does she have a lovey, if not get one, there invaluable! What is she doing before naps, could she be getting OT?
You said you were at it for two weeks pat/shh with success but then had to ditch the dummy, you should have better luck this time.

Right we want to prevent dd from getting Ot and we want to get her to sleep past the 30 mins, plus I do think she's not able to sleep independantly past the jolt yet, I may be wrong.

E 7.00 – 7.15am
A 7.15 – 9.00 am
S 9.00 – 9.30 am, sometimes I can extend a little bit longer, but the hope is till 11.00 amWhat sleepy signs is she giving you and at what point? She eg starts rubbing her eyes, getting whingy start your wind down dont look at the clock, stay the twenty mins patting to get past jolts. Do w2s, if that fails pat til in deep sleep, again the full 20 mins til in deep sleep if you had to pat.
Most babies seem to cope with less A time in the first Easy cycle so maybe she needs to go down earlier? While my ds can cope with 2hrs A time the rest of the day, he usaully goes down after 1.5/1hr45 first thing. It moves our bedtime at the end of the day back to 6.30pm but thats ok.
Now you could after 20 mins of fighting her nap get up have a quiet 20/30 mins out and try again. My understanding of Tracys book is that you would continue trying to get to sleep til the next feed.
Feed at 11, have a very quiet 20/30 mins A time (or when starting sleepy signs) and because she will be shattered you start again after the wind down. She'll be difficult to get down cos she will be Ot but stick with it, help her through the jolts, they will be strong and a  few of them so help her through them til in deep sleep. Do w2s and or patting if she wakes early. If she does go into a longer sleep, let her sleep but make sure you get up for her next feed at 1pm.
If she has a long sleep adjust your easy, so say she slept til 1pm, you feed, and next nap at 3pm.
If she doesnt get hardly any sleep, feed at 1pm, short A time again and down for nap and continue. You should get a longer nap this time.
Get up at 3pm, if she has a full nap even tho its not like it says in the book and say gets up early for eg
Nap 1.20pm to 2.45pm, just get her up as normal, feed at 3pm and get ready for next nap aroun d 2hrs later (or after sleepy signs) which would be about 4.45(or less if sleepy signs given earlier). Get her up after 45 mins ish and move her last feed and bedtime back to 6.45pm.
As your days go on it does start looking more and more like a routine, your A's and S's will be all over the place until she can sleep longer but just keep your E at 4 hrsish.
Keep a log and you should see an improvement by day two even if its the odd long nap or easier to settle down for the rest of it.

Did that make sense or have I waffled too much? Once you get better naps you can see the trees a bit better and it all makes more sense...

[alvas mom]

Hi Catzsz,

wow what a respond!!!! Thanks so much for these detailed options!!! Yesterday when I went through them, firstly I did not understand anything anymore, my head was spinning, too much information and was totally depressed...but today is a new day and my head is clearer. Actually I said to myself that I do not want to go back and shh/pat for the rest of the sleep time, but it seems I have to. arghhhh......

First of all, I have to tell you 2 success stories. 2 days ago she slept 2 hours on her own!!! She woke up after 1hr (w2s), then she talked to herself for 15min, fell back to sleep for another 10 min, woke up, cried for 8min and fell back to sleep for another 45min!!! And we had the same situation yesterday!!! The second nap she just slept 45min, but still it is a huge success!!!

Ok, I still have some questions for you, even if you explained everything:

AP - I assume it is attachment parenting? Means do not rock her to sleep?

Her tired signs are rubbing eyes and touching her ear, which is mostly after 1.1/2hr - 1.45hr. Why is she so early tired? I do not get it, after the nights sleep she should be rested and be happy 2hrs awake. But it is really hard to keep her up any longer. If I would go for option 1 - 4/4 - should I still try to keep her awake 2hrs? Or should I adapt the time so it fits, say 1.45m A and still 4hr E? I kept a log since she is 4 days old, since she is 6 weeks, she is tired after 1,1/2hrs. Do you think I still have to change her body clock and that is why she is still tired so early? Also, if she is really tired she starts to cry at some point. If she just sleeps 45min, say till 1.45pm and then keep her up till 5pm, I have no idea how this should work, she will start crying at around 3.30. How do you manage to keep your bub up for so long?

Another problem is that the last 2 days she woke up very early in the morning. Yesterday at 5.45, I had to feed her and she did not fall back to sleep. The entire day was a total mess, because she was earlier tired, so I put her down at 7.30, slept 45min and I put her down for the longer sleep at 9.00am where she also just slept 45min., and because I have feed her so early she was hungry at 10am, so no way for a longer sleep, etc. What would you have done and why is she getting up earlier and earlier?

I am sorry for so many more questions, but my head is spinning again and you are right, where are the trees?
Thanks sooooo much for your help!!!!!!!
Andrea and Alva

[Catzsz]

Your poor bird! I know its sooo hard to know where to start, I struggled with ds's naps since he was about 9 ish weeks up til around 4 months and I consider myself a fairly seasoned bw!. I really struggled too, I used to moderate the nw forum and assist my hv with some of the mums who use bw for sleep training. It's no just you my bird and when its feels like you've been trying for soo long and getting nowhere, well your not alone and you have all my sympathy.

Firstly brilliant news about those naps, thats brilliant! When she wakes after 45 mins is she crying upset or does she babble? What did you do over those days?

Ok, I still have some questions for you, even if you explained everything:

AP - I assume it is attachment parenting? Means do not rock her to sleepYep thats right. Personally once you have her where she is on a steady routine I dont think theres a problem with AP here and there as long as there's mostly independant sleep going on. But while your training and getting routine in place you need to be consistant

Her tired signs are rubbing eyes and touching her ear, which is mostly after 1.1/2hr - 1.45hr. Why is she so early tired? I do not get it, after the nights sleep she should be rested and be happy 2hrs awake. But it is really hard to keep her up any longer. If I would go for option 1 - 4/4 - should I still try to keep her awake 2hrs? Or should I adapt the time so it fits, say 1.45m A and still 4hr E? Not much sleep can be accumilated, so it can be a few days of fairly good sleep to fully catch up. IMO I also have a theory that the reason why the first A is shorter is because their probably awake before they actaully wake you! If you go for option 1(i sound like sales woman!) you would keep her up for the whole 2 hours, BUT I'm now wondering given that she's now giving you 45 min naps another way of doing this, hopefully I wont confuse you! see what you think.

Your right in that you would keep the E 4 hrs apart and adapt round it. Here's where I'm coming from, if you just watch her for aanother day and gives you another day like the one you just described, can I ask which nap did she give you the 2 hrs and how long A time did she give you in the Easy beforehand? Did you follow her cues?
What I'm gonna suggest is that after her 1hr45 A time that she's managing, push her only 5 mins, pick her up and walk with her quietly round the house or whatevber works to but that 5 mins and then put her down so that we gradually push her A time up, remember that she is tired but but needs to get used to be awake for gradually longer periods. I suggest only 5 mins rather than the whole 10-15 mins as because you say she can get tired after 1hr30 in the interests of not pushing her too far.
45 mins are classic UT (Undertired) signs and 1hr waking happy can indicate that as well so now I'm wondering if you've found a starting point and we can get away with just tweaking her routine? The wake ups after short periods (after 10 mins) is a sign that she's still struggling a little to get past the jolt, BUT she is getting herself past it and a tweaking of the routine will probably help this.

OK, I'm soo bad at explaing stuff. Here's how the tweaking would go.
On an ideal day lets say we wake her at 7am. You need to trust your gut, if she starts getting fussy after 1hr30 push her only 5/10 mins, and the same if after 1hr45 A time yeah? This will just be a rough guess on your day but hopfully you will see what I'm getting at so we can find the right A time to get a good nap. I think going with option2 where if once you got her down, and she's supposed to be alseep but isnt, you try to keep her down til the next E is due. If she doesnt sleep keep the next A time short. The only way I think we can work this is by working it from the first Easy up.
If you manage to keep her down for a decent nap get her up feed at 11ama nd continue with a good 1hr50 A time which she should be able to handle if having had a good nap. If not we continue with short A time since she will be tired and try to keep her down for a good sleep. But the thing we have to keep to is the 4 hr feeds.
1st Easy cycle---
So E=7am
A=extend 5mins past fussy point say 1hr45 to get up to 1hr50 by walking round the house etc.
S=8.50am Now we want to keep her down til 10.30/11am so use w2s/pupd/pat to pull this off or not going back to sleep.
If she gives you at least 1hr30  solid sleepwe're onto a good thing and we can progress into 2nd Easy.
2nd Easy cycle---
E=11am
A=extend as above.
S=12.50
If she doesnt then the whole day is pretty much spent trying to get a good sleep, short A times if poor sleep so you will follow her sleep cues but keep the 11/3and 7pm feeds on track. If she does gives you a good sleep at some point then you would follow with a 1hr50 A time yeah?
It will be add lib for a day or so but hopfully will start taking shape. Extend A time by 5 mins every two/3 days til you get to 2hr A time and hopefully will be on a more even keel.

***Another problem is that the last 2 days she woke up very early in the morning. Yesterday at 5.45, I had to feed her and she did not fall back to sleep. The entire day was a total mess, because she was earlier tired, so I put her down at 7.30, slept 45min and I put her down for the longer sleep at 9.00am where she also just slept 45min., and because I have feed her so early she was hungry at 10am, so no way for a longer sleep, etc. What would you have done and why is she getting up earlier and earlier?***
Early wake ups again due to OT and/or inadequate routine. I know Tracy would say to hold off the feed (dep when last one was of course?)keep trying to get her back to sleep til 7am.
Its up to you how you would play this. You could have done which you did do and I have also done in the past and just started the day from there, ending the day at 6pm night time. Keep it simple in your head, if your easy starts at 6am, end it at 6pm. And see what the next day brings. Hopfully as her days get better and easier it will just be a glitch you have to put up with in the mean time. From the time she wakes, make sure you keep in mind you want to extend her A time to 1hr50mins. Hopfully you'll see some results within three/5 days!

I'd be interested to see what your day looks like over the next few days?

[alvas mom]

Hi Catzsz,

thanks for your massive response.

I had some success, but I am very frustrated and ready to give up. Honestly I am helping her since 7 or 8 weeks now and I just can not do it anymore.

The nap after your response, was quite good. My husband stayed with her to do w2s (pressure on arms during jolts) and she slept app. 1.70hrs! But the next day I stayed both naps with her and I had to help her during 1.5hrs, because she had such strong jolts. My arms and back were hurting so much! Ok, she slept more or less for 1.5hrs, but what a effort! It is so exhausting to stay in her dark cold room for 2 hrs, where is my life, I am doing this for too long... Ok, the next nap was really good, I did not have to held her for too long and she slept nearly 2.5hrs, but the next nap she did not, she was really awake, maybe the mistake was that I let her sleep for too long? However I said to myself, I will not sit any longer in her room or I will get crazy. So the next day I just let her on her own and she slept for nearly 2hrs!!! I know, that sounds too good to be true, but you know, that was just once and since then we are back to normal 30 - 45min. naps.

If I would not have to stay the entire sleep time in her room, just the 20min, to help her into deep sleep I would still do it. But in her case I always have to stay the entire time, this is so frustrating and I start getting upset with her, if she wakes early, that is so wrong. I think because she is a 30min napper everything is much more complicated as if she would be a 45min napper. In most of the posts I can read so many success stories after 1 or 2 weeks, but in my case it just goes on forever.

I am not sure where I am going and which way to follow, if I give up helping her. I guess you also can not give me any advice. I was thinking to try to force her back into the routine, but she is always waking at 6am, and I am sick of holding back an overtired baby from sleep and worry about the routine. Everything is out of control and I do not have any patience anymore. I am so sorry to sound so ungrateful, but I am just getting more and more depressed, after spending the last 2 months in her room and at home trying to fix her sleep....

To still answer your questions:

Most of the times she is not crying anymore when she wakes, she would fuzz or coo a little bit.

To settle her, I would go in her room, close the curtains, turn on the white noise, have her sitting on my lap and singing always the same song to her for about 5min. then I would always say the same phrase ' now we are going to bed...' I would wrap her and put her down. Turning off the light, singing again for 1min and then go out. Mostly she falls asleep within 5 min, with some minor protesting or self talk.

I am giving her both boobies and I do not think she is hungry...

My husband will have next week off, so maybe he can spend some more hours in her room. I have the feeling that my life has stopped 8 weeks ago and I do not know how to get it back....

Thanks so much for your help!!!!!
Andrea

[Catzsz]

Andrea my bird. Thats good news on the naps, it would hopfully be a csae of sitting in there for a day or two, then going in for w2s/hold through jolts for another day or two then backing off and seeing how she manages. Without the dummy this time round, you should have better results.

BUT I do understand that feeling of frustration of living in a small dark room, feeling frustrated with your baby and just wanting to get off the bus!!!
Can I rec having a few days off, enjoy your baby, put her down when you feel she needs to sleep, get out with her and let her sleep in the car/buggy, have a break! Somtimes it can throw everything back into perspective, hell I've had inspiration with son no 2 after a break (to push 4 hr routine) and no 1 because I'd been out and about for a few days with him napping on the go, he could magically fit into a longer routine because he had been stretched, and because there was much more going on to look at while we were out he didnt fuss so much.
I'm waffling I know, but I think a break from this will do you both a world of good, noone can blame you after all you've put in and if you want to get back into it when your husbands off give me a shout but first maybe you should all get out together as a family for few days?
It'll be the first 3-7 days that will be the hardest but mind you've put a lot of ground work already  in place if you do decide to get back in.

Have some chocolate, I know you rpobably dont feel like it but your doing an amazing job and you should be proud of yourself.