Starting to wean :( Could use some advice and support!

[~ Vik ~]

Hi ladies 

DS is 9.5mo and will be starting daycare in 6 weeks as I have to go back to work in 8.  (I wanted to have a couple weeks to ease him in to daycare, as I've always been around!)  I have to have him weaned completely by the time I go back to work, as I work shifts (7-4, 9-6, and 1-10) and will be unable to continue breastfeeding    I would much rather continue, as I actually enjoy it, but it must be done.

I spoke to our doctor, and his suggestion was to choose 1 feed per week and change it to a bottle feeding.  He said to offer the bottle for a few minutes, and if he doesn't take it to wait 15 min and try again, then another 15, etc.  He said that babies won't starve themselves and that he would take it eventually, but that the key would be not offering the breast until the next scheduled feeding time.  He said to do the "comfort" feedings last (ie bedtime and his 1 nw).  He also said that ds would likely be upset at first, even angry, but that it would pass quickly and he would get used to it.

DS still bfs 4 times per day and usually 1 nw.  He was almost exclusively bottle fed for the first three months due to my cracked nipple/supply problems/overactive letdown, but we successfully made the transition to full bfing.  Unfortunately, I didn't continue offering a bottle and now he won't take one (he chews on the nipple, but won't really drink from it).  He does take a sippy cup with water at mealtimes (since about 6mo) but does not drink substantial amounts from it.  Should I try to wean to a bottle or use his sippy cups?  Does anyone have any advice to make the transition easier?  How to deal with the nw?  Any success stories to share? 

I'm not looking forward to this, and I'm pretty sad that the bf relationship is ending 
Thanks for any help you can offer,
Vikki

[firsttimemummy]

Have you tried using a doidy cup?  They are the slanted cups which are recommended as they avoid the problems caused by bottles and spouted cups (just took that off a leaflet!) - I haven't tried them yet as have not got round to buying one, but have used them with children with special needs and they seem quite able to use them.

[PaulsMom]

Hi,

I just started to wean my LO 2 weeks ago.  Since Paul is now just over 1 year, I started to give cow's milk in a sippy cup at his meal times when he was just over 11.5 months (just to get him used to the taste).  I let him drink as much or as little as he wanted.  When I started to do the actual weaning, I decided to drop the mid-afternoon feed 1st and I substituted it with a sippy of cow's milk and a snack (e.g. cheese and crackers or yoghurt).  I did this for 5 days and then dropped the mid-morning feed.  Today I'm going to drop the "before bedtime" feed.  The last feed to go will be his morning feed.

Before I started, I was worried that he wouldn't drink the milk from a sippy but overall he's transitioned quite well.  The first few days he didn't drink much (maybe just an oz or 2) however he's now taking a good 5-6 oz in his sippy at his snack times. 

I know that everyone says that breastmilk is the "mainstay" of their diet until they are 1 year however in reality, you need to start to make a transition at some point so I don't think that there is much of an issue with introducing some solids at his snack time.  I just make sure that they are also a good source of calcium. 

A few days ago, a good friend of mine who is a pediactric dietician mentioned not to give milk with his main meals but to save it for snacks and just before bedtime as the calcium in the milk will inhibit the absorption of iron from any solids that you are giving.  So in general, you can keep your meals as they are now including a sippy of water and just slowly change up your milk feeds into a snack with a sippy of formula and some solids.

I really hope this helps.  For us, it has turned out to be easier than I had though (just watch out for any engorgement!). 

[jess, lukeys_mom]

vikki i'm so impressed that you've kept at it as long as you have. how has it been going?
btw -thx again for supporting me with advice on the temp site

[~ Vik ~]

Hi again, glad to be back!!

Well, we've had some progress and some setbacks.  I'm now not returning to work until October 5 (I didn't realize that I could use some of my holiday time, yay! ) and ds is starting at daycare on September 14.  My plan is to do a week of leaving him there for a couple hours (meal, but no nap), a week of half days (meal and morning nap, so that I can catch up with a good afternoon nap at home if needed) and then a week of full days before I go back.  So I have a little more time to wean, which is good because I'm going to need it!

So the good news:  He is finally taking a bottle reasonably well, often drinking 3-4oz (although sometimes as little as 2).  We have replaced the after morning nap feed with a bottle of ebm and it's gone over fine after a rough couple of days.  He is drinking much better from a sippy cup now, but only water or diluted juice, no formula or even ebm.

Now the setbacks:  He got a pretty bad case of diarrhea for almost 2 weeks (!!) and the health nurse told me that I needed to nurse on demand to prevent dehydration.  I explained that I was in the process of weaning, but she insisted that nursing on demand was the best thing I could do for him.  So now I'm dealing with a bit of a snacking problem in the mornings and late afternoons.  Also, although he drinks ebm from the bottle, he wants nothing to do with formula.  I can mix it with the ebm up to about 50/50, but no more.

So a little progress has been made, but definitely still some hurdles to overcome.  I'm feeling the back to work deadline looming....

firsttimemummy - I think I know the type of cup that you're talking about, my friend Martina has one, but I don't think they're available in Canada?  (she got hers sent to her from a friend in the UK)

PaulsMom - Unfortunately ds is allergic to dairy (hives) so I hadn't thought of trying that, but that's a good idea! I might try with soy milk during meals to see how it goes.  I might have to pop over to the food allergies board to see what I could do for non dairy calcium...  Thanks for the tip too about calcium with meals, I didn't realize that it inhibited iron absorption!  I know vitamin c helps, I wonder if that would counteract it?

Jess - you're welcome   I hope that things are going well for you!

Thanks for all your help ladies   Any other advice, suggestions, and success stories are definitely welcome.  I need all the help I can get!!

[PaulsMom]

Hi Vikki,

Good to hear that your ds is drinking better from a bottle.  It's always stressful when they decide that they don't want to take a bottle/sippy or cup.  Also good to hear that you have more time to spend with your son before going back to work   I hope that your LO gets better soon too!

I did a bit of research on the net to find out if vit C will counteract the inhibition by calcium but it doesn't look like it will since the calcium is inhibiting the iron absorption at the level of the gut mucosa.  I can also confirm this with my friend. She may also have some tips on good non-diary calcium sources.

As for cups, I was trying to buy a doity cup on Amazon (I'm in Canada also) but they wouldn't ship it to Canada. So I think that the only way of getting one is to go to the US or have a friend ship one to you.  I ended up buying a steadycup for my son.  He likes it but I doubt he drinks much from it as usually the water ends up on him, the floor and on his tray.  Your LO may have better fine motor skills than my LO!

[firsttimemummy]

Yes, I am in the UK.  John Lewis sell them but I doubt they ship them ...

[15milner]

When will you be leavign the house to get to work, when will you be getting home and are you working full-time / part-time etc.  it could still be possible to carry on bf and work.

When i went back, I bf Andrew first thing in the morning and at bedtime.  I did that 2 days a week, the other days I did the usual bf times.  I never pumped at work, and eventually I dropped down to just the bedtime feed and  a morning feed at the weekends.

the body is very clever as it sort of works it out.  i continued doing this until only 2 weeks ago when i finally dropped the bedtime feed at 2yrs 2months.

Alex

[~ Vik ~]

Hi 15milner,

I thought about trying to continue bfing while I work, but I work shifts and would not be able to maintain any semblance of routine for Dylan, so I didn't think that it was fair.
I will be working full time (40+ hours/week).  My shifts vary 7-4, 8-5, 1230-930, and it takes me about half an hour to and from.  So I can't keep a morning bf because on my 7-4 days I have to be leaving the house by 630, and I can't keep an evening bf because on my nights I don't get home until nearly 10.  I work in a very busy environment without set breaks (and when I do get breaks, as management I am often interrupted) so pumping or dh bringing Dylan to me to bf is not really an option.  I actually would not mind continuing (it would make my life easier if I didn't have to worry about all of this!) but I can't see it working.  Any thoughts?
Congratulations on how long you bfed, btw.  That's quite an achievement!!

PaulsMom - Thanks for looking into that for me, that's fantastic!