Transition to BBB - wi/wo is a game

[Declans_Mommy]

OK so i see there's not been a post for a few months, but I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for me. 

My DS is now 15 months and recently moved into a toddler bed.  A little earlier than i'd expected, but there was a good chance of him hurting himself in the crib- i had an older one and he'd hold the railing and press his neck against it and make choking sounds   so we decided it'd be better to move him into a toddler bed.  We took him to IKEA with us and had the biggest grin when he crawled up into a toddler bed and snuggled the pillow.  So far he's had no problems with the transition so i'd like to work on him falling back to sleep on his own again.  a bit of his baby history......

After reading Tracy's first baby whisperer book while I was expecting, I was quite diligent when Declan came along that he would learn to fall asleep on his own.  E.A.S.Y  worked very well for him.  He was an angel baby so it wasn't hard to lay him down with his suckie once he was tired and he would drift off to dream land no problem.  He was sleeping through the night at  a few months, I cluster fed after supper and never woke him for night time feedings. 

When he was about a year and started having more teeth come I comforted him more to go to sleep and on occasion when I was very tired, bring him to our bed.  When he is worn out enough and put to bed at a decent time (7:30) he does go to sleep with in 5- 10 min with me in the room.  But when he's overtired n such then it does take longer.  He does wake up on occasion during the night.  The times of waking are very inconsistent and does seem  to have something bothering him, gassy or teething - he has a mouthful now, got his first at four months.... first molars and eye teeth already.... so you can see that he'd wake up at night on occasion.  The times he does sleep through the night he is very happy and content in the mornings.

Since having him in his new bed I'm doing my best to have him and only him sleep in it.... not bring him to our bed and not sleeping in his with him.  I have slept on the floor when i knew he wasn't feeling well though. 
I want to teach him to sleep on his own again but yet still keep a good association with his new bed.   Feeling tricky so far.  But before looking on the forums I tried WI/WO for the first time during afternoon nap time, then once he was sleeping - after giving in     I hopped on the site and i found out that there are many others like me    I wish i had time to read them all.  But from what i have had time to read my situation might be different....

So far he seems to think it's a game of peek-a-boo when i walk out so he comes out to find me once i've gone.  So far i've tried with the door closed - then when i open the door he's standing there and giggles.  I've tried with the door open and peaking my head in and talking to him encouraging him to lie back down to go nite nites before he wakes up, as soon as I peek around the door frame he giggles....

Maybe he needs to go in steps?  while in his crib yet i used my hand to comfort him when he was over tired.  So first i make sure that he's sleeping good without me touching him.  (Been doing that the last bit anyways) Then maybe i should try leaving when he's closer to drifting off as opposed to right after he's tucked in.  and as he gets comfortable with that, then work on walking in and walking out?  Any ideas anyone?

[deckchariot]

When he gets out of bed, do you take him back to bed or tell him to go back to bed?  Is he crying for you or just getting out of bed to look for you?  Some mums do find that wi/wo becomes a game when their bubs are in the big bed.  The key is to be super consistent, and as uninteresting as possible - so leave the room - if he's not crying, don't go back in - if he comes out of the room, take him back, put him in bed, say your phrase "it's time for night night" (or whatever you use) and leave again.  You want your voice to be firm, and engage him as little as possible.  Some mums find that even after doing that for several days, they need to progress to saying "I'm going to get ________, I'll be back to check on you in a minute" and then leave, come back in 5 min or whatever.  You really do need to be super consistent, because each time you give in and do something else, it encourages him to keep doing whatever he's doing to get you to do what he wants.

I suspect if you stay in the room, that will be even more of a game for him.  Though if he's screaming bloody murder when you leave the room, and didn't go to sleep on his own in the crib, you could try gradual withdrawal.

hth
michelle

[Declans_Mommy]

Hello again.... Sorry for the delay of my response.... My son got a cold the past few days so i was kinda testing the waters a bit and didn't want to push or upset him when he wasn't feeling well.  But it is 7:41 and he's sound asleep  

so I tried out a few things and have come to these conclusions.....

At this point in time it doesn't work to do the full walk out because then he crawls out of bed as soon as I'm gone. Not understand the invisible boundaries of a bed.  I'd say about half of the times he'd have a cry for 10 sec cuz i left, and then get out of bed.  if the door was open he'd run and laugh.   Having the door closed would only upset him more once he realized it was closed.  So I decided after our bed time routine was done, ending with a night night, love you and kisses... I wouldn't talk at all after that.   (the first time i tried doing WI/WO i was repeating these steps every time... no wonder he was coming out... more kisses LOL)  anyways so basically I'd count to 10 slowly and take a sept each time i was able to make it to ten.  If he sat up i'd lay him back down immediately- not saying anything and start the counting over.  I felt this was better not giving him the opportunity to get out of bed.  Tonight I only had to lay him down once and was able to make it out the door!

I must also add that i have also been really focusing on a repetitive wind down time at each sleeping period.  Shorter for afternoon nap.  But I think that has helped a lot as well.

I'm thinking this could also be posted in the transition to bed forum... haven't had a chance to look if there is a similar story or not.

Let me know what you think!

Dawn

[deckchariot]

wonderful news!!!!!  Well done in finding a creative way to help him stay in bed.  I love your story, please, please do post a link on the transition thread - I think it would be super helpful to other mums.  May I use your example to other mums I find with similar situations?  And please also feel free to post when you see similar threads and share your encouragement.  You've done a great job!!!

[Declans_Mommy]

Thanks!   It seems to be working well... and please Do share