dropping 3am feed - please help!

[marilyn73]

Hi there,
I've got a 6 1/2 month old who's doing quite well on solids, so I thought I would finally bite the bullet and try to eliminate the 3:00am feed (she gets a DF at 11:00). 
Night # 1 - awoke at 3:20, settled after 15 minutes or so, but not into a deep sleep - only as far as thumb sucking and startling when the thumb would come out - this went on for 90 minutes, but, I felt really good about it because even though it was long, she made it without the feeding, and and breakfast was just her usual hungry.  And then had good naps all day.
Night # 2 - awoke at 3:20 - same as above, but, for 2 1/2 hours!!! only made it because my mom was around to help.  Breakfast, also the same - not ravenous or anything!!
I've felt that the night feeding has been a habitual wake-up and not true hunger for quite some time. 
Does that change how I should deal with the wake-up?  I pat-shhed my heart out.  Should I try wake-to-sleep at say 2:30am?
I was really looking forward to last night and hoped we would get shorter awake time not longer!  Now I'm dreading tonight.
Any suggestions? Note - 7:00 - 7:00 routine, with am and pm nap, catnap variable depending on A

Marilyn

[Nauvoo]

Has she always woken up at 3:20am for a feed???  I would definitely do W2S.  It will help her get past the habitual waking however when she wakes later she still might expect a feed.  But stay strong and your shush patting will pay off.  Eventually she will get the idea and it sounds to me like she really doesn't need the night feed. 
With habitual waking go in at 2:20am and make sure you do this for 3 days in a row.  I've cut short before and regretted it.
Good luck.

[marilyn73]

Hi,
Lo's night waking time is usually between 3:00 and 3:30, but has been as early as 2:30, although not this week.  I think going in at 2:20 would be safe.  How much of a stir should I cause?  I'm sure if she ends up waking fully, she would expect a feed right then and there, and same if it was later in the night.
When Lo was 3.5 months old, we had 2 nights without a feeding where I gave her a paci at her wake-up time.  This ended up backfiring in a huge accidental parenting way - she became addicted to the paci, and since she was swaddled, when she'd wake, she'd cry for it.  I ended up going back to the feeding since putting in the paci would only last a short time before she'd be awake again.
We d/c'd the paci and swaddle at 5 months, cold turkey, and kept the 3am feeding, which I am and was fully aware was being used as a prop, but how many things can you work on at once right?  The last month has been blissfully peaceful - the DF and night feed only take 10 minutes (she's always been a fast eater), and she falls asleep immediately.  This is partly why I put off tackling the prop issue.
But now, since the solids have been going well, I thought it was time.... plus I'm visiting my parents for 3 weeks, and actually can take daytime naps at will!
I've always been nervous about the W2S.  But seeing as draping myself across the crib for 2 hours, pinching a nerve in my arm was no fun, how much harder can it be?

[Nauvoo]

marilyn,
Great job at getting rid of the paci AND swaddle.  I can't tell you how nervous I was to get rid of them and they actually went a lot easier than I expected.  W2S is a bit scary but works great.  I've found with my LO it is really hard to rouse her sometimes.  I usually rub her tummy or head a good bit until she starts to rouse.  Be careful not to go to far though.  Just follow your lo's cues.  If hardly any movement is happening then just rub some more or whatever it is you do.  If she wakes at the same time you know you didn't do a good job at it.  But no worries I've never had this problem and I've really thought I might a few times.  (I've done a fair share of W2S with my lo, at least every 2 months)  So I guess I'm trying to say is I'd error on the side of not rousing enough compared to waking completely.
Good Luck

[marilyn73]

Last night was sooo much better.  Here's what happened.
DF - 10:30, which Lo woke for (usually I have to wake her, and have been doing so at 11:00).
I set my alarm for 2:00 to try wake to sleep (a little earlier due to the earlier DF). 
Lo settled herself, but then woke at 2:50.
When I shh-patted, she settled right away, and then I stayed in the room for about 10 more minutes.  I waited for the thumb-sucking to stop completely.
Back in bed for me by 3:10, and babe slept solidly until 7:30, which is a little later than usual.
I'm not really sure that the wake-to-sleep had any affect, but I will try again the next 2 nights because even though she settled easily, she still woke up at close to the habitual time.
So we've gone from 1.5 hours, to 2.5 hours, to less than 10 minutes for resettling and dropping a feed - I truly am amazed!

[Nauvoo]

GREAT!!  Feels good to make progress.  I'd definitely keep doing W2S for 2 more days, just from experience.  Keep us posted on progress made.