Is PD work for 13mo's EW ? And some other PD question...

[Ethan's Mom]

Hi, we are working on weaning our 13mo DS from nursed to sleep with PD (3rd day )and transitioning to a 1 X nap. His EASY generally are  :

7am : wakeup & BF
8am : E
11.15am : S ( still with lots of crying and screaming )
12.15pm : wakeup & BF
1am : E
3.30pm : S ( sometimes he sleeps sometimes he refuse to sleep. even if he sleep, it would take up to an hour of windown & crying in his crib )
4.15pm : wakeup & BF
5pm : E
7pm : bedtime

Because he never had more than 1 hour nap time, many time we face with OT problem because he refuse to take pm nap. Should we keep coaxing him to take his second nap though he cries a lot ? I feel that his crying is also separation anxiety.

For the night waking at 12am & 3am, DH do PD, but it takes very loooonggg time to get him back to sleep for his 5am EW. He would cry and scream so bad in his crib and finally go to sleep at 6.40am up to 7am ( maybe he is too tired crying ). Several times he also poo, that makes us change his diaper and makes him harder to back to sleep. Does PD work for EW or we need to do something else ?

Thanks before !

[becky1969]

We don't advise using PU/PD at this age.  It tends to make them wound up rather than wound down.

Instead we use a method called WI/WO (walk in, walk out).  What that means is you go in when child is crying and comfort.  Once they are calm, you walk out again.  You do not take them out of crib/bed to comfort.  You would either hug them while they're standing, or lean down and just rub back, whatever.  LO might start crying the second you stop comforting, but that's OK.  Go ahead and go completely out of the room and count to 5-10.  Then go back in and comfort if child is still crying.

I also wonder if naps aren't mistimed.  That first nap may be a bit late.  I might try a 10:45 nap and see if that helps.  then 2nd nap at 3:00.  Those times may keep LO from being OT.

Try WI/WO and let me know how it goes! The first night is always the worst.  But they usually catch on quick.  Like I said, at this age PU/PD can cause more problems than it helps.

GL!

[Ethan's Mom]

I'll try the WI/WO method and re timed his nap. Let you know the progress ( cross my finger :-) ). Thanks Becky !

[becky1969]

welcome! hope you see improvement soon! 

[Ethan's Mom]

Hi Becky, we tried the WI/WO. However he would sleep so easily by the time DH takes turn and would still scream and cry bloody murder when I did that. Now DH always takes turn even for bedtime sleep, NW and EW while I only do the nap time. However I would keep trying. Is there something wrong with it or I need to fix something ? Can I also let his sitter try the WI/WO ? He still wake up somewhere around 3am and 5am. Usually get back to sleep easily at 3am if DH come and rub his back. Will it cause accidental parenting ? He usually scream so loudly when wake up. However many times he got so hard get back to sleep at 5am as he is poo. Mostly he would back to sleep somewhere at 6.30am for half an hour.

For the nap time, I've seen that he would easily take his nap at 11.15-11.30am, tried the 10.45 but would only sleep for 20 minutes. And he got extremely hard to have his pm nap. Is he ready for 1x nap ?

Thanks a lot before !

[becky1969]

Sounds like he's very close to 1 nap.  I think I'd offer a 15 min nap at 11:15 for right now, and then a longer nap at 2:30 or so and see how that goes.

Not sure what those NWs are about.  I *would* be careful with the rubbing as it can become AP.  I'm thinking maybe the NWs could be because he is just about ready for 1 nap and so night sleep is adjusting to that.  I have a feeling you're only a week or so away from 1 nap.  Let's see how he does with that 15 min one at 11:15. 

Of course, you could just try offering 1 nap at 11:30 and see how that goes.  Downsides: 1) it can take up to a week for their body to take 1 LONG nap -- they're used to 2 short, so he may wake himself up early out of habit.  2) 1 nap at 11:30 means he'll probably wake at 1:30 at the latest, which means a 6-6:30 pm bedtime.  Pretty early. 

It's up to you what you do at this point!

As for WI/WO being easier than daddy than with mommy, pretty typical at this age! We're the mommies so they try to get more cuddles out of us! With daddies they just expect to be told to go to sleep and so they do it! LOL!  I would just let DH handle it as long as it's working! And don't worry -- he'll probably change again in 6 months and then only *you* will be able to get him to go straight to sleep.  And babysitter should do WI/WO too as it will keep things consistent.

HTH!

[Ethan's Mom]

Hi Becky, this past 3 days he had 5am EW and didnt want to settle again ( and always poo ). Therefore I give him his first nap at 10am and second nap at 3pm. For the am nap, he settle quite easily, while for the second nap he would cry and scream bloody murder up to an hour and stillll doesnt sleep. Finally yesterday I BF him and he sleeps for around 45 minutes. His bedtime is still around 7pm and experience 1-2 NWs. When DH come, he would then very very easily back to sleep, but if Im the one who come, he would cry and scream. His naptime is still no longer than 1 hour, sometimes only 30 minutes and fall back to sleep easily if I BF. What should I do for his NW & EW ? DH would have a trip out of town tomorrow. Thanks before !

[becky1969]

There's too long between the 2 naps.  he's OT by 3 pm.  If 1st nap is at 10, then 2nd nap should be around 2.  The NWs are probably from not enough daytime sleep.  if we can get 2nd nap longer, I think those will disappear.

The poo waking him up is a problem that's hard to fix.  Look at what you're feeding him before bed -- you may want to move any fruit to earlier in the day.