can someone hold my hand with wiwo???

[*Becky*]

I think we are going to have to do wiwo now. I have been putting it off for ages as I am a total wimp when it comes to crying and my lo can really cry!
Basically he is a totally independent sleeper at night but in the day we have to be in the room to settle him for naps. This started around 10 months and he is now 13.5 months. I think it started as a combination of beginning 2:1 and cutting molars but it has just gone on and on. If he was settling quickly I would not have too much of a problem with it but I think we are becoming more of a distraction to him tbh. If I leave he goes crazy to the point of hysteria so I have done everything to avoid this and because he is fine at night I have just dealt with it but DH is getting totally fed up with it and tbh I know we do need to deal with it.
So....this is what I aim to do. Lie him down and say sleep phrase and then leave. Wait 30 seconds, go in, lie him down and repeat. Is this right? How long do you carry on for?
Can someone just reassure me that this is nothing like cc as I have worked so hard to be with him through all our issues and I need to know this is a good method and that he will not be damaged iykwim! I know it will upset me a lot so think I will wear ear plugs.
Thanks for the advice - I really need someone to help me with it.
Becky

[lilflav]

I can hold your hand, I've been there many times   I know how hard it is to do this, but remember it does pay off in the end.  I think you are supposed to wait 10-30 sec, whatever you decide.  But only go in if he is really crying & upset, not fussing or on off crying. Otherwise leave him be.  You don't have to lay him down as long as he can lay down himself.  I know w/ my spirited one it just made her mad so I did it every 5-10 min.  I think for naps you are supposed to go either 1 hr or the lenth of the nap.  I guess the difference w/ this and cc is that you are there the whole time, whereas cc you leave them for long amounts of time.

Let me know how it goes...GOOD LUCK

[*Becky*]

Thank you Really appreciate this!
Well today has been a bit of a nightmare. Tried to put him down after 3.40 A time and I did get out of the room but he talked for about 5 mins so I am guessing UT and then started crying. I went in and tried to soothe him. I know - I should have done wiwo. Anyway not working at all so got him up.
After 4.20 I tried again and did wiwo this time. Took about 10 mins which I guess is pretty good so def going to stick with this now. I have to be consistent I know. So hard to listen to that crying...
Can I just ask....there were quite a few times when he was quiet and so I started counting to 30 again but that meant that one time he was crying on and off for about 3 mins but I did not go in. Is that ok?
Going to post for some routine help...
becky x

[lilflav]

That's great that it took only 10 min!  You're lucky!  When you get his schedule figured out I think it will be smooth sailing.  Yes, that's how you do it.  If he is not upset don't go in. 

[becky1969]

You're doing awesome already! I have a hard time with crying too, but since you're THERE when he cries he knows you love him.  And you know what cured me of hating crying? Toddlerhood! Because dang do they cry a lot as toddlers! LOL! But you soon realize that the crying is just them expressing themselves, not that they are having their hearts broken, LOL!  So hang in there! You're doing the *right* thing.

[*Becky*]

thanks ladies
Becky - please could you look at my other post - routine help needed. Desperate for help!!!

[*Becky*]

just wanted to say thanks liliflav
I am still keeping up with wiwo and feel so much better for it...much more in control and time off for me in the day....today was harder but I did get him down and it was not as bad as I expected.
Thanks again
bx

[becky1969]

I have a feeling a lot of yo7ur need for WI/WO will disappear once you put him on 1 nap.  I think he's just not tired enough for either of his naps, and so he's protesting!  Put him on 1 nap after 4.5-5 hours A time, and I think you'll see a *very* different boy.