5 month night waking.....WHY?!?!?!

[runningwildly]

I'm desperate here for advice. Sitting here crying my sleep-deprived little eyes out as I write.
The story goes like this.....
5 month old touchy baby girl. She is over 19 lbs and in the 100th percentile for her age....so she's big! Naps beautifully during the day with no issue. The problem comes at 7pm and a light switch is turned on. She fights night sleep sometimes waking as much as 7 times! I am exhausted. Here's her 4 hour EASY routine.

7am BF
A: for 1.45 to 2 hrs (she gets OT by 2 hrs most times and SCREAMS if I don't catch her tired cues)
S: for 1.5-2 hrs

BF somewhere between 10:30 or 11
A: easier time being A for 2 hrs, but again, a small window of opportunity until she is OT so I watch her cues like a hawk. Much of the time she can only handle 1.45 A time.
S: 1.5-2 hrs

Between 2-3 pm BF (just depends on if she's slept for the full 2 hrs or not)
A: for 1.5-2 hr depending on her cues
S: cat naps for 1 hr. I've tried shortening this catnap to 30-45 min but she gets OT and I have hell to pay.
E: BF immediately after 1 hour nap. I've tried not doing this feed and by 6 or 6:30 pm she'll be CLAWING at my chest.
A: 1.45-2hr. By the time she has bath & wind down it tends to be closer to the 2 hour mark......and now I'm wondering if she's OT so perhaps should cut that A time down?
E:BF 7 or 7:30pm
S: immediately after BF.

Now this is where the problem therein lies. She goes down beautifully for night but then she is awake somewhere after being asleep for an hour to an hour & a half. Sometimes I can quickly resettle her and she'll go down until about 5 am for a quick pacifier replug.......but 90% of the time she'll be WIDE awake. Like the hour and a bit of sleep was good enough and she's ready to party. However, that 'party' lasts for up to 3 hours of which she'll be SCREAMING from OT. And when she's awake, I mean she is wild. Like completely wild and can't sit still. During those times when she won't resettle and she's been awake for 2+ hours I figure she's worked herself up so much and is hungry by then. So I feed her around 9 or 10 and she settles down for the night (with one waking for a paci replug). This has been going on for WEEKS now, which makes me think it's not a growth spurt. But does she just need those extra calories? And is she seriously hungry after I've fed her at 3pm, 5, 7 and then again at 9 or 10? Seriously? Is she hungry because she's such a big baby? And if I can't resettle her when she wakes after she's slept for an hour and a bit, and then I feed her, will that create a bad habit? Also, I've never done a dreamfeed because it always woke her up too much and I couldn't resettle.

When she has these times of waking, she becomes OT and it carries on into the next day.....which very well may be why she can't stay up for 2 hours without missing that window of opportunity. It's a total cycle. We're all OT here.....me included.

I guess the main things I don't understand and have questions about are:

-why does she wake ONLY at night time after she's slept just over an hour when she doesn't do that for naps? Has this waking become a habit, because it seems to be getting more & more frequent every week?!
-sometimes she gets that feed around 9 or 10pm when she can't resettle.....but sometimes she does resettle without that extra feed. What gives? To feed or not to feed, that is the question. And if I do feed, how long will I have to do that for?!
-how can I get her to go down at 7pm and sleep until 7am, like she *used* to?
-if she is going through a growth spurt, why is this lasting for weeks at a time?

Please help me tweak this. We all need our sleep.

[Tweakster]

Hi there, so sorry there are no responses yet.  I'll see what I can offer here :-)  First, I know how hard it all is - and sleep deprivation makes it all so much worse.  Is there any way you can get some help in while you catch up on a bit of sleep?  If there is a need for some sleep training or routine tweaking it's best to do it when you are on the top of your game...which means well-rested.  Could anyone else besides you go in at some of the NW and try the resettling?

At 5 mths their A time is normally between 2 hr - 2 hr 15 creeping to 2 hr 30 by around 6 mths.  Sleep is 2x 1.5 hour naps per day + 30-45 min CN to bedtime and 11-12 hours at night.  ~14-15 hours per day - some are getting more, some slightly less.  Have you tried logging her sleep for a few days to see what she is actually getting in a 24 hour period?  Sometimes that helps to see what might be going wrong.  If she's getting 2x 2 hour naps + 1 hour CN she might actually be getting too much day sleep.

Since she's Touchy and to get her to that 2 hr A time mark and beyond, I would do low key A time and a nice wind down.  What do you do for your wind down at the moment?  Is she still swaddled?  You mention a paci...does she use this for naps?  How is her room, dark?  Do you use white noise for soothing?

Is she teething? 

Normally NW in the earlier part of the night is OT.  So yes perhaps you might try a shorter A time after her CN.

I didn't BF so I am not sure how the feeding normally goes at 5 mths but I suspect still waking once or even twice to eat is not uncommon, and likely more during growth spurts.  The 6 mth is a big one from what I remember!  Let's see if we can get more eyes on here regarding your feeds.

how can I get her to go down at 7pm and sleep until 7am, like she *used* to?

I know it's so hard not to focus on what used to be but honestly sleep is not linear progress with LO's so it's better to work with what she's doing now and try to get it to a manageable, more liveable state :-)  I always re-visit the past 'oh remember when he slept that 12 hours through the night...etc.' but it doesn't help you get out of where you are now.  Hugs!

How have the past couple nights been?

[*Liz*]

She is really very big isn't she? I have a 0.4th centile LO so no comparison possible, but they are the same size and my DS is 16 mths. SUCH a big difference.

Just wondered if you have started solids yet? I know she is less than 6 mths - but just wondered.

The cluster feed *can* be counterproductive at this age as it can encourage snacking - but I somehow don't really think this is the case from what you say.

I do wonder if it is hunger in a bigger than average baby  .

Also do you get a dip in milk supply in the evenings?

What were her nights like before all this started? Was she feeding at 7pm and then STTN or were there still night feeds?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Just chiming in as the mom of a huge BF baby to add to Wendy's great advice.   

I would not be at all surprised if she really does need to eat once in the night at 5 months.  Lots of BF babies need a night feed even up until 8 or 9 months.  If I were you I would feed and send her back down, esp if she'll do that and go back down for the night.  It may be habit forming but at this point I imagine she's hungry so a habit you can break later (as I'm in the process of doing with a 2am feed for my 6mo old!) is better than 3 hours of screaming!  Particulalry if you end up feeding her after all that screaming anyhow.

I agree that it's strange that she would want that night feed so early, though.  Does she take full feeds (in terms of time) at all those cluster feeds?  I would definitely worry that she's snacking.  Maybe you could try not doing so many cluster feeds, which will annoy her at first, but would encourage her to take longer feeds when she does eat and might stretch out that time after she falls asleep before she wants to eat again. (In time, anyhow.)

I started solids at 5.5m with my guy since he really was hungry.  It's taken him a couple of weeks to warm up to them but now I know he's getting more calories during the day so I'm more confident about him not needing to eat in the night, hence weaning the 2am feed.  We are still doing a 10pm feed, though, and I imagine will be for a while just to make sure he isn't hungry.

I also have to second Wendy's advice (that I'm sure she's given to me at some point, too!) that we have to try not to focus on what they've done for sleeping in the past, but to go from here.  I spent ages being frustrated that he wouldn't go back to his long stretches and once I faced the facts and tried to just adjust and make changes from there, it was a lot better mentally for me.

{{HUGS}} to you.  We've all been there, sleep deprived and crying and screaming.  You will get through this and it will get better.  We're all here to support you through it!

[runningwildly]

Thank you for the advice thus far, ladies. I will come back and answer your questions, but it seems since I am run down from lack of sleep I have now gotten uber sick complete with fever etc. There have been a few changes to my LO since the other day, but again, I'll write once I feel a bit better. Talk soon.

[runningwildly]

Although I was desperate for answers, the delay in responses from anyone actually made me problem solve on my own. It was actually good for me. But then again, hind sight is always 20/20.
So what's happened?
Wellllllll, I decided the night after my original post to simply feed my LO when she woke up after putting her down for night....whether that be an hour or two hours after she ell asleep. Every single time I did that and fed her with no questions asked, she resettled immediately and slept until morning. So I've been doing that for a number of nights now (something like 5 nights) and she's slept about 10 hours straight each night. I don't know why she keeps waking to eat so soon after I just fed her for night, but I just feed her anyway. She guzzles both sides too!

Then, not only did she begin needing that extra feed, but she began waking early in the morning (6am rather than 7am) to eat. LO had a scheduled dr. check up so I asked whether or not she needed more calories because of her size. The doctor said she is indeed "thriving" on my breastmilk, but supplementing with some cereal would help her sleep. SO although she's not quite hit the recommended 6 months to introduce solids, she's had her first meal today. She napped like a dream after that! So I think I'll try it again tonight and BF her as well. See how long she'll sleep.

Because my LO is touchy.....and SUPER touchy with sleep, I have had to problem solve since the day she was born. Yes, she's still swaddled. Yes, the room is darkened with white noise. Yes, she sleeps with a paci for night and naps. The little lady likes to SUCK, so a paci is my best friend....and subsequently hers too.

Anyway, so it turns out she IS waking hungry although I can't explain why since she's always eaten well, full meals every feed (hence her hugeness). I AM introducing solids now and she IS sleeping at night without the huge 3 hour scream fest we've been having for about 6 weeks now. I just wish I would have clued in a month ago. Sigh. I guess that's motherhood for ya.....it's trial & error out of desperation.

Being well rested these last 5 nights has made my LO a completely different human. I can hardly believe the change. She is now able to have A times of 2-2.25 hours without a melt down. Like who is this baby and what have you done with my child?

Hoping this continues.............

[Tweakster]

Hi there so glad to hear that you have seen some changes and are getting some well-deserved rest.  Sometimes just listening to inner mummy gut will guide you!  And I too have a little monkey too who is sooo a different baby when well-rested.  It's just night and day.