HELP!!!

[Sally Jones]

I posted recently about my 1 year old boy who is not sleeping well.

From 2 - 9 months he slept through the night in his own cot (and his own room from 6 months) Due to illness and us being soft we let him sleep in our bed. We now cant get him settle in his own cot. He will literally scream and scream and scream, until i pick him up. When he falls asleep i put him back in hos cot but he always wakes again.

lately he has been very very hyper, playing and laughing at 11pm etc, i found out that ASPARTAME (in his sugar free juice) was the likely culprit. I have taken it off him and he has been less hyper for the last few days.

A friend suggested moving his cot bed back into our room so he could be near to me (right next to me in fact)  but not in my bed. Tried that lastnight, he screamed and screamed and screamed, then managed to climb onto my bed. I got out and got in his bed, he soon followed. He fell asleep instantly but as soon as i got out, he woke and came to my bed.

He has a dummy and a teddy which ive put my PJ top on but hes not bothered about it. he just wants me. I really am at a loss what to do.

Doc says leave him to cry. NO. This doesnt work with him and I dont agree with it.

HV coming to see me in 2 weeks (after I asked weeks and weeks ago).

Even when hes alseep in my bed hes started waking constantly, (like every 30mins or so), he settles as soon as I say its ok and put his dummy back in.

PLEASE HELP!

My main objectives are..

(1) Get him to sleep in his own bed (not bothered if its in my room)
(2) get him to sleep through the night

ADVICE PLEASE.

I know hes probably confused as I have tried lots of different methods. And yes i do give in to him by letting him sleep in our bed, but thats because he wont give in. he will scream for hours if not.

Please someone help me

[anna*]

Have you thought about trying Gradual Withdrawal? There's a link about it here: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

[Sally Jones]

Ive tried WI/WO, as soon as he gets put in his bed he screams and will not ever settle unless I pick him up. 

[Roseii]

Perhaps you could try GW, starting off by lying/crouching next to his cot until he lies down, then staying with him until he falls asleep...? So doing it very gently. I know the first one or two nights you might have to endure a LOT of screaming but in my experience they do realise you are not going to back down and get them up/put them in your bed. My DD was used to me rocking her to sleep until she was 13m and coming in my bed every night. We still have independent settling and routine issues but she now knows that when we go upstairs she goes down in her cot awake and she has to fall asleep in there, it genuinely didn't take her long to cotton on to that.

*hugs* you must be very tired. xxx

[anna*]

That's what I'd recommend - starting with GW for a while.

[Sally Jones]

Thanks, I will give it a go.

So if I put him in his bed, and lay on mine next to him, strokin his hair and re assuring him, but not to pick him up and stay until he settles? I just find it so hard not to pick him up when hes crying and holding his arms up saying mama ;(

[Roseii]

I am not sure how to show you a link so I will copy and paste my post from a couple of months ago on my first night of GW, might help you out a bit. Basically as Anna has said to me about WIWO, these are not "no-cry" sleep solutions, but you are going to be there comforting your LO, you are not abandoning him you are simply teaching him a new way to get to sleep, and it will pay off if you can stick at it. Good luck 

Hey
Just wanted to document my first night of GW!
First of all, confession time   I didn't confiscate the dummy...I totally got cold feet about that. I remember reading someone saying they did GW allowing the dummy but LO always had to put it back in herself, so that was my plan. However I will review this in a few days if I feel it is hindering our progress...

So she had a bath at 8pm (we had an awful Friday night so didn't get up til 9.30am Sat morn, hence the late start Sat night)
Had her milk as usual and instead of giving her her dummy I put 3 of them in her cot.
So she finished her milk and burped and I put her in the cot and pointed out the dummies. She wasn't at all impressed and immediately started crying, but she did put her dummy in. She then spent a while messing around, playing with the other dummies whilst I just lay beside her cot on a mattress (good idea Laura!!)
She started getting very whiny and tired, then the full-on screaming started. I just kept encouraging her to lie down and she was getting quite angry with me. Anyway, she eventually lay down on her front and I like to think she was comfortable like that because she shifted around a lot. She stuck her little hand through the bars and touched my face and stuck her fingers in my mouth (that is a real comfort thing for her that I will work on) and drifted off to sleep at 9.10pm, 25 mins of crying.
Unfortunatley she was awake again half an hour later, I went up til 10pm then DH took over for 20 minutes and she was absolutely hysterical, I have never ever heard a noise like that come out of her, it was sooo heartbreaking. But DH didn't crack and lift her up, I was very proud. I went back at 10.20pm and after 5 more minutes of screaming she stopped and lay down (she screamed hysterically for 40 mins that time) It then took her a whole hour to fall asleep, fingers through the bars etc.
SO she was asleep at 11.20pm.

She woke at 1.30am...I went in in laid down next to her and she only cried for about 5 mins then lay down and went back to sleep and I went back to bed. But then she woke at 2am again. But again she only cried for a couple of minutes then went back to sleep with me lying next to her. (Oh, and each time I helped her find her dummy and she plugged herself back in.)

Anyway I fell asleep in her room too, then crept back into my room at 5.45am when DH's alarm went off for work. She then woke up at 6.15am but I knew she was still very tired so again she barely cried at all, lay back down and slept til 7.20am whn we got up!

I feel like I had mixed success...I am so impressed at the short crying spells in the night and I am very proud that we kept her in her cot ALL night.

However the NWs were still very frequent and I would have rather spent more time in my bed than on her floor, but I guess I shouldn't expect too much from the first night??

Thanks for reading sorry it's a bit rambly, it means so much to me that you ladies take the time to read these posts and do so much to help, I know everyone has their own things going on.

xxx

[Sally Jones]

Thanks Charli.

Its so hard not to pick them up isnt it, when you know you can quite easily end the crying. BUT I guess it all pays off in the long run!

xxx