Insomnia in a 15 month old???

[skadanka]

Hey there moms, I'm new here. My son will be 15months next week.  Ok, here's the issue at hand:

In January he and I had a terrible cold lasting about 3 weeks, during which he also started breaking two molars.  He slept terrible while he was sick, as he couldn't breath, and ever since then, he's been a terrible sleeper but in a different way.

Now he is waking up at night, after being put down 730-830 generally, anywhere from 1130-330, and cannot go back to sleep for anywhere from 1-3 hours.  It's wreaking havoc in our house, as I'm sure you can imagine. 

We don't have, admittedly, much of a bedtime routine, but that's not new. 
I have been unsuccessful in switching him over to a lovey, though he has a stuffed cat he is fond of.  What he really wants is me, and to be touching skin.
He is not eating at night. I took out the night nursing to see if he'd sleep when he realized he wasn't getting it, and he never even noticed i did so, so it didnt help.
Daytime he gets solids, a little milk, and supplemental formula.
He usually gets 2 naps a day, still.  The first is generally really easy to get him down for, the afternoon nap is always a fight.  He has this awake period at night whether he gets 1, 2, or 3 hours of sleep during the day. 
Even for his naps, he takes forever to go to sleep alot of the time, unless he doesn't get one until he is exhausted, i.e. i'm running errands in the am

When he wakes up it is literally impossible to get him back to sleep.  He will lay down, if he's holding my hand through the crib slats, he might even seem like he's dozing off, but then will pop back up again and start crying/yelling if i had taken my hand away and he realizes it.   That is the current prop, laying his face on your hand when going to sleep.  He is a thumb sucker as well.  My mother is here for a visit, and she agrees with me that it's as if he simply is not tired enough to go to sleep, CANT go to sleep. 

The only diet change, is that I started giving him grains other than rice, for the first time.  I waited until his molars started coming in for that.  He is not a bad teether, btw.  He doesn't act like they are bothering him at all, and it has been like that for all 10 teeth so far.  I'm going to take him off of the grains, in case he has a gluten sensitivity.  (food allergies do not run in our family, though he, the only one, is sensitive to dairy).  He has no symptoms of other food allergies, but someone else suggested it as an option, particularly salicylates.

i have tried a few homeopathic remedies, Baby Calm magnesium, less napping, more napping, earlier bed times, later bedtimes....  nothing is working.  My next step is to take him to a chiropractor, as he also had a fall a few weeks ago. 

does anyone have any ideas/input?  Do babies this age get insomnia?  He's never been a great sleeper, but he's never been unable to go to sleep in the middle of the night before.

As I said this is wreaking havoc, and we are due to go on a big trip next wednesday, and frankly i'm scared to death.  Either the hotels are going to kick us out from the crying and screaming, or our friends will never invite us back. :-( 

[londonmama]

Sounds like a lot going on for both you and your LO!  A few thoughts and some more questions....

For us these long NWings are (I think) a combination of overtired (OT) and a bit of separation anxiety (SA) after being sick/teething.  Almost like they associate the cot with feeling poorly, maybe?  We had a really bad week last week like this after he had a vomitting bug.  When he had the actual bug he slept okay, but once he was feeling better he was up screaming for a long time each night - inconsolable.

Does your DS ever go off to sleep on his own? - i.e. is the need for the hand on his face only when he wakes in the night or is it for NWs, bedtime, naps, etc.

A gradual withdrawal plan may work well for you.  I.e., where you start by letting him fall asleep with hand on his face and sleep next to the cot all night, then maybe hand on his chest instead, then no hand, then no sleeping next to cot but sitting beside while he falls asleep, then sitting further away, etc.

In our case, I ended up spending two nights sleeping on his floor the whole night.  I started to wonder if he was freaking out so much because he had SA and was afraid I would leave once he fell asleep, so he fought and fought sleep.  I had planned to gradual withdraw myself, but after the second night on his floor, I started off in my own bed and planned to go in and sleep there after the first NWing, but he slept through!  Probably just got lucky though.  But my DS was still okay falling asleep alone at bedtime and at naps, so things improved quickly for us.

Second thought, beyond the need to do some gradual withdrawal plan, is whether he might respond to a more structured routine so that his body clock can get used to something?  So naps and bedtime roughly the same time every day, or within 15-30 mins of the target time anyway.  And a really repetitive bedtime and naptime routine.  I do the exact same things every time - change nappy, grobag on, sippy of milk/BF, read the same book, sing the same song, close the curtains.  I think older babies and toddlers really respond well to this kind of structure, as boring as it is for us!

Could you list out an idea of how your days go with wake time, nap time, bedtimes, etc?  Might spot something in the routine that is making the NWs worse.

With long NWs like that, he is definitely going to be OT so we need to find a way to get him caught up on sleep, and then work on the gradual withdrawal and routine side of things!

[skadanka]

Thanks for the reply.  I am, admittedly, overwhelmed by sleep training and structure.  I personally have never been one to have a routine, so it's been EXTREMELY difficult for me to implement one with my son.  As in, impossible, so far, to get a real one going.  Or at least, a routine that lasts longer than 5 minutes has yet to happen.  I don't take to his whining so well, (remember "want to hear the most annoying sound in the world, lloyd?" from Dumb&Dumber?  that's him!!!) so I often give in when I do try to wean him off my hand.  Today he took two two-hour naps, maybe a little more. I didn't have the heart to wake him up, and was hoping that the "sleep begets sleep" would kick again.  So maybe he is catching up a little.  2 hour naps are rare.

Hmmm... how do my days go?  He gets up generally 630-7, sometimes later.  I bring him in bed with me and I nurse him and we snuggle and play, while I take longer to wake up.  Then it's breakfast, and by 2 hours later he's ready for his morning nap, so that starts at 9-10 maybe, as he often dozes more w/me in bed.  He'll sleep about an hour plus, generally.  He'll be ready for his afternoon nap about 3 hours later. 

Morning nap routine is take him into his room, close the shade, turn on the sound machine, cuddle with me a few minutes, then I put him in his crib.  Then i sit/lay on the floor and he holds my hand. Sometimes there are tears for a while, sometimes the whole thing takes less than 10 minutes.  Then I sneak out of the room if he's not asleep yet, as quiet as possible, as he has super-sonic hearing. :-/

Afternoon nap is the same simple routine.  But much harder to get him to go down.  I do try to read to him, but it's often not at nap time. 

Last summer he ended up super sleep deprived because we simply didn't know how much he should be getting, or how to read his clues.  When I did start to figure out the clues, he actually figured out that I had, and stopped giving them!!!!  For one example, he'd always want to lay down in my arms, head to the right, sucking his thumb.  Then when he realized I'd always put him in his crib after a few minutes of holding him like that, he would then refuse to lay down in my arms and always stay upright, like "hey, i'm not tired, what's going on here?", not even with his head on my shoulder.   He's a total stinker. 

hope this helps you in your diagnosis!

[londonmama]

Listen, I hear you about hating routine.  I really fought the idea of being so structured for a long time.  I would go through phases of being really committed to my BW routine and then fall off the wagon and things would still be okay for a while, so I'd think - Great!  We can just go with the flow.  And things would go belly up again.  We even went on a trip with a bunch of childless friends and were taking our LO out every night to restaurants and parties and he seemed totally fine and we were so excited about regaining our social life!  Then about 10 days later he started waking  up screaming every 30 minutes all night (obv totally OT) and it took us a MONTH to get back on track.  Never again. 

Some babies can cope with little structure and they just catch up on sleep where they can.  Other babies really need the structure - mine does.  I can't say about yours, but it sounds like being awake for 1-3 hours every night isn't working for either of you!

Sounds like your DS is maybe "spirited" when it comes to sleep - i.e. fights it even when he's tired?  Mine too.  Unfortunately for us, routine is even more important for spirited babies because they really need the regularity of the routine to tell their little brains and bodies to finally switch off for a break!

There are definitely some things that can be tweaked in your daytime routine that might help to solve some of the NW (nightwaking) problems.  If I were you, I would work on that first and then you can work on a bit of gradual withdrawal to get him sleeping more independently.

His first nap is very soon after waking up and is probably too long.  Most LOs this age are going 3.5-5+ hours after waking before their first nap.  At this age, if they get too much sleep in the morning it can throw off their afternoon nap and/or their night sleep.  Quite a few 15 month olds are probably on one nap after lunch.  We don't want to shock him by going straight to one nap, but I would aim for a routine something like this:

Wake - 6:30/7:00 ish
Nap 1 - 10:00 or 10:30ish (30 mins only, I would wake him up)
Nap 2 - 1:30 or 2:00ish (keep an eye on cues for this one, let him sleep up to 2 hours)
Bedtime - 7:30 (asleep by)

Hopefully others will come on with other suggestions, but this will give you something to start with anyway.

On the needing to hold your hand to get to sleep, you could start gradually working on this at naps and bedtime, if he is amenable to this (I find the NWings the hardest, so we can hope those lessen naturally once the routine is better!).  I.e. try to gradually move the hand away, and eventually see if you can get out of the room while still awake - but start with the routine stuff first.

If it were me, I would try to be quite strict with routine stuff for a week or so (even if it means missing a couple of playgroups, etc.) just to give it a chance to see if it helps with your nights. 

LOL about the Dumb and Dumber whine!  Here too - it just gets into your brain and is so grating.  The good news is that there will be so much less whining if he gets on a bit more of a routine that works for him.  Unless my DS is teething or ill, we have very very little of that droning whine these days!

[skadanka]

Ok, I'll try this schedule.  Thank you...