Stuck somewhere between 2 and 1 nap.... confused

[~Jen~]

Hi, I'm feeling so confused and lately just so tired of thinking through this 2-1.  DS had always been on the low end of sleep needs (textbook with some touchy mixed in) so we started cutting back his morning nap to preserve the long PM nap quite a while ago.  We are now down to 20 mins in the AM and 1.5hrs in PM. 

This is our routine give or take most days:
Wake 6:30 ish
Nap 1 10:30 - 10:50
Nap 2  2 - 3:30
Asleep 7:30 ish

Lately it is starting to take DS up to 30mins to fall asleep for both naps and bedtimes.  Not crying but chatting, running around cot and rolling around.  My mommy instinct (and advice from the support board) makes me think it is time for a change but I don't know where/how and maybe I'm just tired and frustrated.  He has never liked the 20mins nap and always seems to cry when I wake him.  We were doing 25mins for a loooong time and that seemed fine but A times were getting longer and the day getting over 13hrs so we cut back to 20mins.    I've also been slowly pushing out his AM nap later and still keeping it only 20mins.  But when we push the catnap later, he gets even more upset.  I'd expect that i guess b/c I'm sure with the slightly longer A in the morning, he wants a longer nap and the 20 is not restoring him.

So I'm not sure where to go from here.  How do I get to 1 nap? How I get this nap later in the AM when we are only giving him 20mins (and he is always upset when I wake him). And now on some days he is starting to refuse PM totally if he gets anything over 20mins in the morning.  So after a EW if I give him 25mins instead of the 20, he refuses PM nap.  I feel stuck where we are.... I've tried a few days with 1 nap and at first he did great with 2.5hrs and then the nap got progressively shorter and shorter until we hit 1hr20 which is definitely an OT nap for him.  We've alternated 1 nap and 2 nap days, but he seemed to slip into OT loop.  Does that confuse him more?

I'm not rushing the transition but he is resisting sleep more and more and I don't know if OT or needs more A? Or in general what to do next... what do you think? 
 

[bubbabear1]

Sorry - no advice but sending hugs to you. (((())))

Siobhan
xx

[*Becky*]

How old is he? Is he STTN ok? Sounds like he is ready for one nap. With my lo we have tried to stick to one nap as switching between the two was just not working tbh. We do get many 1.20 naps but I try to do an earlier bedtime if this happens. Do you think that might work?
The other option is to try a longer am nap after about 4.5 hours and then a CN but my lo would never take the CN. Some do though.
HTH!
Becky x

[~Jen~]

Hi, thanks for your reply.  He is 13.5mos.  He is STTN (thankfully) and most nights does about 11hrs but we have been seeing 10.5hrs alot more lately.  I think the shorter nights are related to OT at bedtime and shortening his A seems to have helped.  I think fear of EWs returning is what is concerning me about going for the 1nap.  If it ends up short and then we have a long stretch to bed - likely OT sets in and then EW next morning. 

TBH, I was thinking about switching to a long AM/short PM and we've tried it a few times and we are 50/50 with it.  Sometimes he'll do it and others he'll refuse.  I was mainly trying it when our attempt at 1nap ended in anything less than 1.5hrs and then we'd squeeze it in.  The days he refused it, we'd do an early bedtime and that would work and if it was early enough, he didn't have an EW. 

Does it make sense to try and squeeze in a catnap if we get a short nap when trying one nap or should I just let it go and do an early bedtime?  I really struggle with the whole thing because I work during hte week and so getting DS down for an early bedtime is really tough.  But I think I just need to bite the bullet and muddle our way through b/c the 2 naps are just not working and the inconsistency is driving me (and probably DS) crazy!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, how many hours night sleep did he have before that nap, the 1 hr 20?

[~Jen~]

hi Wendy, the first time we got the 1.20, he had 12hrs the night before  but the next day, we had an EW from 5:30-6:30 (he fell back asleep until 7:15am) and then we got another 1.20hr nap. At this point, I switched back to the 2naps to clean up OT.

Last night we had less than 10hrs..   DS was rubbing his eyes and yawning for an hour before we even got him out of hte cot!  This is what yesterday looked like:

Wake 6:40am (11hr night)
Nap 1 10:25-10:50 (gave him extra 5mins for his nap as he was very fussy in the morning)
Nap 2 2:25 - 3:50 (it took him 45mins to fall asleep  )
Asleep 7:50 (did his usual A of 4hrs after PM nap)

Woke this morning at 5:50....  ?  OT or UT?

[*Becky*]

well I am guessing OT perhaps. Could you shorten the last A time? I found with my lo that we could do this as neither of his naps were that long right at the end of the switch and by the end of the day he was tired from fairly long A times.
bx

[Kay Dee]

Hi, I'm wondering if you could do the AM nap earlier, that way you could keep it really short, at 15-20mins, and still have time to get a decent PM nap in. We did it that way as if the nap was later, DS HATED to be woken from it! My DS is v. low sleep needs and we transitioned to 1 nap at 9/10months but just before that his schedule was something like this:

7am awake
9.45-10 catnap (often in car/pushchair)
1-3pm nap
7pm asleep

This worked well for us as the long PM nap meant he didn't get OT by bedtime.

The long AM, short PM never worked for us as DS would refuse the second nap, but if it works for your LO then that might be a good option too.

HTH!

[~Jen~]

Becky, You are right - we seem to be stuck in OT loop.  Not sure how to get out of it.  I tried the long AM/short PM nap today.  I was trying for 1.5hrs this morning and we got 1.20mins. 

Wake 5:50
Nap 1 10:20 - 11:40 (he woke)
Nap 2 3:20 - 3:45  (when we woke him, he cried the house down )
Asleep 6:50

I guess this is a good start as he fell asleep fairly easily tonight (only 20mins)! But I think the 13hrs is still too long for him right now.   I think you are definitely onto something with the shorter A time before bed.  That might be where I need to cut to get the day slightly shorter.

KDee - I've tried putting him down earlier for the AM nap and he just plays in his cot until he is closer to 4hrs A time.  Looking back I wish I stuck to a set nap time earlier in the morning - maybe that would have helped at this point.  Now, I can't get him to sleep earlier.  He doesn't let me APOP the AM nap either.  We've always done the short AM/long PM to keep him from getting OT at bedtime.  It has worked really well for months - now I'm lost.  When you finally made the transition did you just cut your catnap out and move the 1 nap earlier?