Total failure taking away soother - help!

[ybilger]

 

Not sure if this should go in the toddler section.

My daughter is 18mo and I know I should have removed the soother a LONG TIME ago, but we moved to a different country and time just flew bye. And to be honest, soother didn´t used to be a problem until now.

Normally she only uses it at nap/sleep time but lately when I ask her to put it back in her crib she screams!! and wants it back ... this morning we had a 15 minute tantrum when I put it away.

I feel the soother is not only affecting her speech but she´s becoming a spooiled toddler (great eh?!)... she´s just so much better withouth it, she´s able to interact, whereas with the soother she seems to be in her own world.

I´m ready to go cold turkey but after the experience this morning I´m a bit scared.
I was thinking of the binky fairy (who takes it to other new babies), or even putting the soother in a balloon that flies out to new babies.... but do you guys think she will understand that?

Or should I put this powder they sell that gives a really sour taste so she doesn´t like it anymore ....

or should I just take it away and deal with it.... I don´t know. I guess I just need some words of advice of moms with toddlers. 

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!!!!! 

[anna*]

Personally (and I know you'll get some more advice and opinions on this) I wouldn't get rid of it at 18 months. BUT I would keep it for naps and sleep and use distraction or toddlerese or some other way of dealing with the tantrums. They will get less over time if you are consistent, eventually she will accept that after she wakes up, the binky goes away.

[deb]

My younger child would not no way no how wean the darned paci till she was about 2-1/2. Wasn't happening, and I TRIED from the time she was about 4 months - gave up trying for good around 6 months.

Once she was 2YO, and I found myself keeping spare pacis in my right pants pocket ALL THE TIME, I began to involve her in the process. I'd keep one spare for when she got stressed, because for her it really was a comfort thing, but otherwise it was for bed and the car once we got started. (Otherwise it really was all the time, and I mean ALL the time!) But I told her I was worried about the paci messing up her teeth and making them come in the wrong way (and big sis was beginning to lose baby teeth at the time so that was a big deal and she began to buy into it. With her own participation, we got rid of them in about a week, maybe 10 days from when we started.

Maybe you can start a ritual of tucking the paci back into bed when she gets up, or leaving it with a favorite stuffed animal or doll to "use" during the day when she won't be needing it?

[K's mom]

DD still uses them for naps/nighttime.  In the morning when I get her up I have started asking her if she wants to leave them with Miss Kitty (her favourite crib stufftie) to hold on to until naptime.  Usually she agrees and tosses them (she usually has one in her mouth and one - or 2  - in her hands) back in the crib.  DH will usually pack one for daycare in her knapsack but she doesn't use it there.  I find when she's feeling under the weather (illness or teething) she gets very clingy with her pacis.  I would like her to be paci-free by the time she's 2 but we'll see. 

[ybilger]

To be honest I'm just happy I'm not the only one with a soother in her pocket!
I definitely need to get her interested in another stuffed animal or something... I think I need to go shopping tomorrow and get her to pick one ... I just worry about her interaction and speech development...just don't know what to do.

[anna*]

If you keep it for naps and sleep - unless she's sick, or long car journeys etc - it's not going to affect her speech and interaction. I think it's just a case of being firm and consistent - decide what the rules are for when she can have it, and stick to them, regardless of the tantrums.

[lilisuze]

we went through a stage about 3 weeks ago where he wouldnt drop the paci in the crib. I thought, oh no, we have a problem now, but after about 10 days he went back to normal.

lili

[deb]

If it makes you feel any better, Natalie is not only THE most interactive child on the PLANET, but she talks nonstop. This is after 2-1/2 years with a binky.

[MummyToBen]

My ds is 17 month and we've decided to wait til he's 2 to wean him from his dummy as I know that he just wouldn't understand if I took it away now - and to be honest I would feel pretty rotten suddenly removing the thing that really helps him get to sleep without him knowing why.  He only has it for naps/bedtime and occasionally if he's really distressed - v. long car journey/immunisations etc.  He would *love* to have it all the time  , but I am now strict that as soon as he gets up from naps I take them and put them out of sight, saying "you don't need your dummies now, come on lets play....." etc.  He put up a fight the first few days, but because I just kept repeating the same thing he soon learnt that I wasn't going to change my mind, and now doesn't even bat an eyelid when I take them off him.

xx

[ybilger]

 

Thanks so much everyone for your support.. we've decided to wait until before she turns 2... not that long from now.
She´s back to putting the binky back in her crib ...yey!
It makes me feel much better to hear that other toddlers are developing such fine with the binky and I agree she wouldn´t totally understand right now if I take it away.

Thanks everyone!!!

[anna*]

You may need to wait until after she's 2 - depends where her language and comprehension is at that time. My LO is 2.5 and I can't imagine trying to wean him off his lovey right now. Maybe when he's 3, he would be able to understand, maybe he'll be nearer 4.