HELP!!! DESPERATELY need help ASAP PLEASE!!!

[ericapt]

Sorry to sound so desperate, but I am in need of help as soon as possible!  I'll try to make this brief, but give as much detail as I can quickly.  My son is almost 29 months old and our big issue started 3 nights ago.  This past saturday night he climbed/fell out of his crib (not sure exactly how it happened, but he was screaming and yelling for me and then I heard a thud noise and when I went in he was squating on the floor.)  One reason this is so odd is because until that point he has always LOVED his crib!  I mean, he will lie in bed for 2 hours sometimes just talking and entertaining himself and many times even after he wakes up he doesn't want me to get him out of the crib.  That night wasn't any different.  I had him in bed at 7:30 and then about 15 minutes later he started screaming and crying for me and then climbed out.  Usually he doesn't fall asleep until around 8:30, but will lie in bed quietly and doesn't get upset.  We have a video monitor, so I can watch him.  (monitor wasn't on yet the night he got out because I was in the shower)  After the climb out I held him a few minutes, put him in bed and he fell asleep and slept through the night.  The next day he took a normal nap and there were no issues, but when I went to put him to bed that night he was in there 5 minutes and then started screaming and crying again and I saw him trying to climb out of bed on the video monitor.  I tried lying him down, but he just was so upset (not typical) and wouldn't let go of me.  Eventually DH caved and layed on the floor next to his crib for about 40 minutes (I know, horrible).  He didn't fall asleep, but when DH left I guess he was calmed down and tired enough that he didn't get back up and fell asleep around 10 pm!  He slept through the night, but then woke at about 5:45 (usual wake up varies lately between 6 and 7 am) screaming and crying and trying to climb out again.  Like I said, usually when he wakes he just lies there happily and waits for me to come get him.  So, ANY thoughts on why he would have this EXTREMELY sudden change and how should I be handling it?  I realize that LOs go through phases, but it came on so fast that I just haven't had time to process and come up with a solution.  I tried WI/WO, but he was popping up so quick and starting to climb out that I wasn't really getting out of the room and he was just becoming more hysterical!  Plus it's really hard to lean over the side of the crib because I'm 7 months pregnant.  Should I be doing some form of WI/WO or staying with him until he's calm?  Should I switch to his toddler bed since he's trying to climb out?  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT COULD HAVE CAUSED THIS PROBLEM OR HOW TO FIX IT!!!! I'm going to post our routine just in case you need to see it.

6-7 am    Wake up (varies)
8             Breakfast
10           Snack
11:45      Lunch
12:30      In bed for nap, but doesn't fall asleep for about 30-45 minutes.  I am only letting him sleep about 2 hours now, otherwise it really affects night time (before present problem)
3:30        Snack if he wants it
5:30        Dinner
7 pm        Bedtime routine and in bed about 7:30.  Usually falls asleep at 8:30 and sleeps until 6 or 7 am
** Just a note, I had posted several weeks ago because he was refusing naps several days a week, but per everyone's advice started putting him down early and corrected this napping issue.  Naps were going well again for the past 3 weeks and now this horrible night issue has arisen. 

Also, I was at work today and he was at my mom's house.  She said he napped well with no problems (probably because he was exhausted from lack of sleep last night).
What should I be doing?  Anyone ever had this type of change suddenly?  My husband is in his room with him as I type this and he tends to be a softy when it comes to this, but this time I have to agree.  This is not like our LO and he seems genuinely upset/scared for some reason.  ANY ANY ANY advice ASAP is GREATLY needed and appreciated!

Thank you so much in advance!
Erica

[Mum-of-Two]

Aw don't apologize for being a softy with your little boy.  Obviously he's upset, I've slept on my kids floors for less, its OK! 

As for what it could be... my goodness... the only thing I can think of is shadows that scare him.  My MIL talks about how the mobile in my SILs room scared the heck out of her but no one knew it until she was old enough to talk.  Because of this my MIL always tells us to look around the room, try to see if from your LOs eyes and see if there is anything scary.  Something he never mentioned before may have caught his eye.

My only other thoughts go to health.  His ears are probably OK if he's napping well.  Is he eating anything new that might give him a tummy ache or gas?

Big hugs and hopes your DS is feeling comfortable soon!!

[nona]

yes, we had this happen to us as well. ((hugs)). it was a nightmare. sorry to be a debbie downer. my DS did once and then he stopped for awhile. then last summer (summer before he turned 3 - his bday is in october), he cried out for someone to come get him and long story short no one did (i was in shower, etc) and he climbed out  and was hysterical. anyway, he kept climbing out. so i have a HUGE long post on this from a while back. if you're interested, you can read it.  anyway, i think he freaked b/c no one was there to get him and he then had this new skill he acquired.

i wanted to buy a crib tent. if you dont' think he is ready for a toddler bed, i would get one. they are hard to find. i couldn't find one quickly and so just resorted to converting his bed to a toddler bed. this did NOT solve the problem but prevented him from crawling out and hurting himself. so the next thing we did was put a gate on the door. this worked but then he started scaling the gate at 3am and walking downstairs in the dark to our room. let me point out, i have a non-climber child!!!! he is not adventurous or daring and here he is climbing out his crib and over gates. i tried using a gradual withdrawal method (sleeping in his room or outside his room on mattress). this worked for a short time - but i was NEVER going to get out of this room - and he kept waking up anyway in hte middle of the night to check i was still there. we also tried WI/WO for like 2 hours one night. this did not work and i thought i was going to hurt myself or my child so gave up.  my son also just got MORE hysterical and crazy. he turned into like damion from the The Omen. it was quite strange.....

so, guess what? we added a 2nd gate on top of the other (and he was in the toddler bed). then we made a sleep chart and had sleep rules (it had pictures on it and we still discuss it today - DS really likes the chart). we had problems the entire summer and we finally had tough love aroudn september. so we discussed the sleep rules, used the 2 gates, and he was allowed 2 tuck-ins (ie he could get out of bed twice for us to tuck him in when he first went to bed.). so the first night was rough, and Dh took the night shift. when DS climbed out of bed and went to the gates for another tuck-in, my DH said "remember the sleep rules. no more tuck-ins". of course there was crying, etc but after 10 min DS climbed back into bed by himself. this went out for like 4 nights, each night we were firm and DS would go back to bed easier and easeir on his own. eventually we took both gates down. now we rarely have a problem.

so your situation is a little different but my point is to nip it in the bud really early.

1. buy a crib tent if you are not ready for him to be in a toddler bed
2. convert crib to toddler bed and use 1-2 gates to prevent him from leaving room and having free roam of the house
3. limit how many times you will go back in to "tuck-in"
4. be really firm with your routine right now (ie naptime/sleep time) so he is not UT/OT
5. since you are pregnant, i'd try to nip it in the bud sooner than later!!!! you need yoru sleep too!!

i hope something i wrote was helpful. i've been there!!!

[Mum-of-Two]

Doh!  I had no idea this sort of thing goes on!

Although I will say my friends son climbed/fell out at 18 months and they went out that night for a toddler bed to keep him safe.  But he never slept well, still doesn't   

[nona]

Doh!  I had no idea this sort of thing goes on!

are you joking or being serious???  my brother &  i never did this as kids but my husband did! lucky me!

[Mum-of-Two]

No really serious, sort of.  My son is showing us that these kids are really unpredictable afterall -- my daughter never did these things -- hence why my mind went to maybe something scared him (aka, something that can be fixed and not the next stage of life so to speak).

Not at all making fun though -- dry sense of humor if anything    You give great advice!

[Mum-of-Two]

Oh and I have every expectation we too will need the double gate... my son is a climber already and is upstairs... we have been wondering how we can keep him from going down, if we gate the hallway where he can still get to his sisters room (our original idea) he could easily go over the edge of the stairs still.  Not there yet but I won't forget the double gate idea, it will come in handy come big bed boy -- or, sooner !

[nona]

LOL. i got the double gate idea from the book Toddler 411. it worked great. also my gates were (are) see through so DS could still see us so it wasn't like we were deserting him. i NEVER thought we would have this problem b/c DS was such a good sleeper! oh well, that phase is over THANK GOD!!!!

[ericapt]

LOL. i got the double gate idea from the book Toddler 411. it worked great. also my gates were (are) see through so DS could still see us so it wasn't like we were deserting him. i NEVER thought we would have this problem b/c DS was such a good sleeper! oh well, that phase is over THANK GOD!!!!

That's what I've been saying too.  My son has always been a good sleeper with fixable problems (since around age 1).  My husband just spent 45 minutes sitting outside of my son's room and when my son would get up DH would say "it's ok, I'm out here, so lie down now"  and LO would lie down.  He isn't sleeping yet (it's 9:30), but he isn't screaming or getting up.  Isn't this creating just as bad of a habit as rocking him to sleep or sleeping on his floor?  Maybe it can be temporary since he was easily made content when he knew someone was nearby.  Maybe he is afraid of something?  DH said he keeps mentioning an owl and when I was in there he was coming up with every excuse in the book to get out, even suggesting time-out for himself.  Maybe this can be a gradual withdrawal until his "fear" decreases?  There was a really bad/incredibly loud thunder storm about a week ago that woke him in the middle of the night for 2 hours, but then sleep went back to normal, so I didn't think there was any relation.  He also isn't mentioning that, but maybe he just doesn't know how to say it or doesn't consciously remember it.  I don't want to abandon/use tough love on my child if he is truly scared, but I just don't know.  More than anything, it's just really stressing me out that he isn't getting the sleep he needs because it leads to me sleeping poorly and worrying about his safety and lack of sleep.  I don't want to get into a bad OT cycle!  What should our next step be?  I really appreciate all of the advice, I'm just concerned and feel horrible when I don't know how to help my child!  Thank you again,

Erica

[nona]

yes, it is unfortunately. i've left out parts of our story to keep it short. we were sitting outside the room for a while and it turned into him waking constantly in the middle of the night looking for us  .  then it was quite awkward to explain to the babysitter they needed to sit outside the room or our kid would freak out!

TBH, we weren't sure either but the problem just kept getting worse and worse. but i understand if your child is truly scared. they can't communicate great at this age, making it harder. a lot depends on your child's personality too what type of method will work.

you could try starting the bed time routine earlier so he may be asleep earlier than later in the meantime?

btw, the excuses will just get worse as they get older!

i would look into this owl situation - did he come up with it by himself? sometimes i think we can kinda put words into our kids' mouths. like if DS wakes up now, Dh will ask if he has a bad dream.

what if you try rocking him or something in this room until he is kinda drowsy but still awake when you put him down.

you can try some gradual withdrawal for the next few days and see what happens.  in BWSAYP, Tracy suggests sitting  in a chair in the room while child goes to sleep and then gradually moving it out. (each day, place it closer to door, further from crib).  i think there is a section on FAQ in the toddler sleep section.

i would just pick a method  -see if it works. if it doesn't, try something else for a week.  our gradual withdrawl, ending up lasting WEEKS - i was sleeping upstairs on an air mattress in my son's room! i was so depressed. but it might work like a charm for you guys!