need help!

[PaulsMom]

DS has been a pretty good sleeper.  For about 2 yrs we have been able to put Paul down for bed, say "night, night" and close the door.  Occassionally he would fuss for about 30 sec to a minute and then settle himself down. 

A week ago Monday, thunderstorms rolled through during the night.  At around 5 am he woke up, asked to go to the potty.  More storms rolled through and he refused to go back to bed.  DH invited him into our bed.  Needless to say, we didn't go back to sleep.  That night he said he was scared of the thunder.  I stayed with him until he fell asleep.  Since then, he gets scared about going to sleep.  Occassionally he says that there is thunder (when there isn't).  More recently he says that he's scared of the "froggie" in the air vent! 

I've been staying with him by lying down next to his bed while he falls asleep.  After he is tucked in, I won't talk to him or hold his hand.  I've told him that I'll stay if he stays in bed and goes to sleep (which he does).  If I leave early, he becomes hysterical.  I'm not sure how to handle this.  Obviously, I'd like to be able to put him to bed and then close the door but he's clearly afraid of going to sleep. 

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

[Roseii]

Hi Hun, how old is he?
Could you post your routine, is he napping?

As you've had such a good independent sleeper before then we tend to suggest wi/wo for resettling and reteaching independent sleep, are you familiar with that? There's some info here:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

Xx

[PaulsMom]

He's 3 years old.  He's at daycare 5 days a week so the times below will be approximate.  He may miss a nap (perhaps 1 per week).

His schedule was:
Wake:  around 7 am (I have to wake him up)
Nap:  12:30ish to 1:45ish
bed:  ~8:30 pm

On week-ends, we usually let him sleep in (so perhaps up between 8 and 9 am).  His nap will start later - usually he's asleep by 2:45 - 3 pm and will nap for roughly 2 hrs.  His bed-time will move closer to 9 pm but he's usually pretty good about going to sleep even though he woke up from his nap just a few hrs earlier.

Since developing this fear, he sometimes isn't asleep until closer to 10 pm    We are finding that he's avoiding going to bed (e.g. doesn't want to get out of the tub, need to go to the potty, etc).  Even before we get him to his room, he's already saying that he's scared of thunder or froggie...

I had looked at the wi/wo method the other night.  My main concern is that as soon as I (or DH) leaves the room, he's instantly screaming and saying he's scared.  I was thinking that I may need to help him overcome his fear but I'm not sure how to go about doing this (and hopefully his sleeping skills won't degrade too much.)

[Roseii]

If WI/WO is a no-go you could try gradual withdrawal, especially as he seems scared, poor boy.

As he's 3, I would also suggest talking to him about his fears, and maybe introducing a "safe" toy-i.e he chooses one, you explain this one is to help him feel secure in bed...

And, I'm sorry to say he could be very ready to drop that nap...

x

[PaulsMom]

thanks for the tips.  DS sleeps has two `buddies`that he sleeps with.  Should we try to introduce another `friend`to sleep with

I guess I`m doing the gradual withdrawal.   DH actually did a pretty good job at it and left before he fell asleep.  We had to bring him back to his bed a few times but now he`s sleeping (although it was after 10 pm  ).   Hopefully things will get better.

Regarding dropping the nap... I`m not sure if I`m ready to give that up  although I was thinking of shortening it so he`s not sleeping so long especially on the week-ends.  I think that the day-care naps are alright as he`s getting to sleep usually before 1 pm and is up by 2 pm.  I think at the moment, it`s hard because he`s not getting a lot of night time sleep so he`s needing a nap.

[Roseii]

Heehee don't blame you for not wanting to drop it However you may find bedtime gets later and later..Capping it may be a good solution

With my DD I made quite a big deal about choosing a special toy (out of her enormous stash!) and saying this toy will help you to feel safe etc, because I knew SA was at play more than anything else.

GW will take a bit longer than WI/WO but obviously it's more gentle and generally fewer tears which is a bonus.

It is tricky when you get caught up in short nights, therefore needing a nap, just take it slow and try and cap his nap slightly and bring bedtime forward a bit.

HTH x