5:20 am wake up - standing & crying

[B J]

I had a 5:20 am wake up today with my 12 mo DS.  It was about a 10.5 hour night, which is normal for him, but I think he may have been a touch OT as his A times were stretched a bit yesterday.  Some mornings he wakes up and babbles in his crib until we get him, but other days he is standing and crying out with tears.  The cry is like a "hey where are you, come get me" cry.  Once we get him he is happy.  Sometimes he does this after his nap as well.

I feel bad leaving him when he's got tears running down his face, but I don't want to reinforce that if he cries out, we will come right away.  I know he won't go back to sleep.

Any advice on what I can do?

[deckchariot]

Can you post what his EASY routine is like?  That EW could be a sign that the routine needs some tweaking.

What are you doing when he wakes early and is crying?  Please don't just leave him to CIO, you can use wi/wo or wi/pd/wo instead.

hth
michelle

[Tweakster]

Hi there, if it's a one of then I wouldn't worry about it.  But if you feel a pattern is developing then you may need a routine tweak and also to provide him something in his crib that he can entertain himself with should he wake early.  Leave his sleeping conditions the same and minimal contact with him if you can.  If he's crying, what we sometimes had to do at Finn's EW is also go into his room and lay on the floor with our eyes closed and just tell him 'mummy is here, it's sleepy time, go back to sleep'.  Or you could just lay outside the door and let him know you are there.  Could you post his regular routine.  

[B J]

When he wakes crying we go in and get him up.  It's not a sobbing cry, more of a scream with pauses to see if we'll come.

We are alternating between 1 and 2 nap days depending on when he wakes up.  Here is yesterday's routine:

5:45 awake (left him in his crib babbling until 6:30)
5:45 - 11:00 A (5h 15)
11:00 - 1:20 S  (2h 20 - woke him)
1:20 - 6:45 A (5h 25)
6:45 asleep (put him down earlier but took awhile to fall asleep)

The previous day was similar but he fell asleep earlier.  I know yesterday's A times were a bit too long, usually I aim for 5 hours.  I was hoping that by stretching him, I could get a later BT and later wake up, but I guess that backfired.  We usually end up going over 5 hours for the last A though during the work week.  We can't get him to bed earlier than about 6:15. 

Is there a link for how to do wi/wo?  I don't think I can do pd as he'll probably get more upset.  It's hard for us to stay with him or outside his room on week days as we are already up at that hour trying to get ready for work before he wakes! 

Even if I could get to a consistent wake up of 6:00 am that would help.  I'd like to have time to shower and enjoy a coffee before he wakes

TIA!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, the only way we got our 'consistent' wake up, if I can call it that is with later bedtime.  But it just started happening and Finn's 15+ mths.  So it took us time to get here.  First we had to have a stable 1 nap day both home and at daycare and then we started pushing bedtime out to get a later wake up.  We accept a shorter night for a later wake up and a better nap from him.  It has been working until we were on holiday this week and messed with the routine lol  Sadly my kid is not flexible.

This is to decide between GW or WI/WO:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

How long has he been on 1 nap?  His A times are quite long for 12 mths, we had to do that too because of daycare but it took time for Finn to adjust...we had some real OT in the beginning.

[B J]

We've been going back and forth between 1 and 2 naps over the last month.  Early, I know, but I was trying to get him on 1 nap for daycare too, so I was pushing out his A times to get him there.  He has no trouble staying up for 5 hours and is happy, but some of his EW may be OT related.

He's had some good days on 1 nap with 11 - 12 hour nights, but I find that 10 or 10.5 hours is pretty common.  I wouldn't say that any OT we're experience is out of hand (knock on wood), but the inconsistency in wake up times is driving me crazy.  But maybe I'm just being too anal, as I'm very schedule driven, and not being able to "program" when he wakes up is making me batty.  But hey, he's just a kid, he's not a robot.

[deckchariot]

I noticed you woke him from his nap - is there a particular reason for that?  If he's OT, a bit extra on the nap might actually help - and then you could push bedtime later without extending that last A time.  My dd is high sleep needs, but when she first went to one nap (at 14 mos) it was almost always 3 hrs or more.

[B J]

MIL woke him up at 2h 20 as I had told her previously to not let him sleep too long as I was worried about shorter nights with a longer nap.  One time he slept 2h 50m and I noticed he had a shorter night.   If I was home I would have just let him sleep, but I forgot to tell her that.  (At least I know she's following my instructions   Good point on letting him nap longer, I'll just let him sleep as long as he wants going forward.  We're getting short nights regardless anyways! 

Is there a max on how long I should let him nap on 1 nap days?

We had another 5:20 wake up this morning!  Only about 9.5 hours sleep!  I heard him wake up at 5:00 and stir a bit.  I got up at 5:20 to shower and I heard him breathing heavy, so I thought he was fast asleep.  I tip toe to the washroom, and then I hear "wahhhhhh!".  I did wi/wo, but he got more hysterical.  Tried wi/wo a few more times and then we just got him up because he was crying too hard.  DH thinks maybe it's too hot in the morning?  So he's adjusted the air conditioning to come on earlier in the morning. 

I told my MIL to put him down earlier for his naps today and let him nap longer if he will to catch him up on some sleep.  This is what happened yesterday:

5:20 wake
5:20 - 10:20 A   (5h - this first A was probably too long)
10:20 - 12:00 S (1h 40)
12:00 - 4:05 A   (4h 5)
4:05 - 4:25 S     (20 m)
4:25 - 7:00 A     (2h 35 - put him down at 7:00)
7:25 fell asleep

[Tweakster]

Hi there, oh if you are in Toronto without AC then I imagine that he must be hot!  That could account for the EW.  It's hot in our house and we have the AC cranked all day long.

Honestly, we have had a lot of days like the one you posted above, except with 1 longer nap rather than 1 nap + CN.  Our naps have been long like Michelle's DD, Finn will normally do 2.5-3 hrs on weekends.  We don't limit his nap because it doesn't give us longer nights, in fact 2 days of shorter naps have caused NW and chaos in this house.  We had a fine balance of naps + night and we only get 10-10.5 hrs so that's wall we expect.  We leave his nap as is so that his totals in a 24 hr period are on average 13 hrs.

It looks like your LO can do 3 hrs A after his 20 min nap.  Did you wake him at that second nap or did he wake on his own?

Also a month is still relatively short in the 2-1, OT could have crept in from the long A times and 1 nap days if he wasn't ready for it. 

[B J]

DH installed a programmable thermostat so the AC is set to only run when the house hits a certain temperature, so at night, it's usually not running.  I was hot this morning too, so I'm sure DS felt a little toasty too.

Yes, we woke him from his 2nd nap.  I don't want him to sleep too late for his CN as he does seem to require 3 hrs A and I don't want the day to get too long.

I agree OT is creeping in.  Today is a 2 nap day and he went down for his AM nap after 4h 30 A, and he woke up after 35 min!  He hasn't short napped like that in a long time.  So now we have to switch it up and do short AM/long PM.  I hope he naps well this afternoon.

[deckchariot]

definitely sounds like OT creeping in now.  I hope you get a good long nap this afternoon.  Since his am nap was so short, I'd keep that A time in between naps short too (around 3ish, if that's what he does in the pm after a catnap), and let him sleep to catch up.

[B J]

Yup, MIL put him down for 2nd nap after 3 hr A at 1:00.  BUT she didn't feed him lunch first!  He only had some snacks.  I guess I need to be more specific.  I figured she'd know to do lunch first, but I guess she's following the routine, which is usually lunch after nap.  I hope he doesn't wake from hunger!

[deckchariot]

  what can you do?!  Great A time...here's to hoping they were really good snacks!