Natalie, has your Son always been a poor sleeper?? I can totally relate to your post. I'm new to this forum and joined because my 17 month old Son is a horrible sleeper and its driving me completely insane. I'm constantly exhausted, I'm finding it difficult to enjoy my time with him because I'm so tired and cranky. A little background:
My son was over a week late...big baby (I am very tiny) so long story short it was a horrible, painful natural labor. Brought him home and when he was 2 weeks old...he cried from 6pm to 10 pm EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for 7 straight weeks! No one knew what was wrong. We tried different formulas, routines, you name it. Nothing worked. Doctor said he was Colicky. Great I thought. He wasn't a very happy baby. Always needed to be held..cried very often and screamed for the 4 hours every night. Didn't help that he wasn't sleeping well either. He woke up every 2 hours for three months. He napped on and off like most newborns.
When he turned 3 months old, he slept great for two months. I think he went from like 10pm-9am. I remember he went to bed much later when he was younger. But he slept anywhere from 10-12 hours.
THAN, right at about 5 in a half months he just started waking up. Not for a bottle, not for a change, not for anything but for me to rock him. Thats when the first bad habit started "rocking him to sleep". Before I would just feed him and put him down. Now that he was waking every 2 hours I did whatever I could to get him back to sleep and it was rocking. I think at first he woke because he was learning to put his binky back in his mouth. However, these NW lasted until he was ONE YEAR OLD. Yes for 6 in a half months..I was up with him evert 2-3 hours every single night, just for him to be rocked back to sleep. Repeatedly every 3 hours. This killed me. Most mornings I hated being a mom, it was so horrible. I was beyond exhausted and miserable. I didn't know what to do and it was clear he had an issue getting himself back to sleep when he woke. During all this, he was giving a hard time going down to sleep so I was rocking him initially to sleep and when he woke up in the night. Also for about a month (when he was about 7 months old) I was bringing him in bed with us but I ended that shortly after.
So he turns 1 year old and I am at my wits end. Its been almost a year and I could count the number of times I've slept through the night on one hand. I was so depressed. I tried the cry it out method..and I lasted 5 minutes and ran in there crying myself. I just couldn't do it. Husband couldn't either. So finally at 1 year..one of my good friends told me the next time he wakes up...restrain yourself...just wait a few minutes, listen to the cry...give him a chance to re-settle himself. And at that point I was desperate. She also told me that at nap time and bed time put him in his crib when he's not totally asleep..allowing him to settle himself. So I did this...and when he cried out for the 1st time that night I waited and within 2 minutes he was asleep. Slept the whole night. I repeated this the next day..rocked him, put him down for a nap when he's just awake enough to settle in his crib. Same with night time. Didn't wake up at all the next night. This went on for months..he FINALLY started sleeping through the nigh! And if he did wake up, it would only take him a minute or so to re-settle. So this went on until he was about 15 months old or so. Slept 10-12 hours a night with no wakings. I mean there were those random nights where he would have a nightmare but it was rare. Finally mommy was getting some sleep.
Now, just recently within the past month or so, he started waking up again, but this time he would wake up and NOT go back to sleep. For example, one night he woke up at 4:30 am and was up for the day. The next morning he woke at 1am and did not go back to sleep until 4am. This went on for about a month. By the time I would go to bed..he was up an hour later than by the time i get back to bed and fall asleep he would be up for the day 3 hours later. I was running off of 3 hours a sleep a night. It just brought me back to last year...all the sleep deprivation and it gave me bad anxiety. Was he going to sleep tonight? Will I be able to sleep tonight? Not being able to know if you can sleep is a horrible feeling. I'm not sure what caused any of these NW...past or present. It's Summer time so we've traveled quite often..on vacation and to visit family. So I don't know if going from place to place is affecting him...but he's never been a good sleeper.
Anyways, loooong story, trying to make it as short as possible. Current day...2 nights ago, I lost it. I broke down to my husband and went completely insane. That night he cried out and a minute later went back to sleep. Than an hour later he started crying again. I walked over to the monitor, shut it off and went back to bed. I was never able to do that but I think I am just so tired and desperate I had too. Couldn't tell you how long he cried for but he woke up at 8:30 am in a wonderful mood. Last night I kept the monitor on and he didn't wake at all. So I'm not sure whats going on..I don't know if he just knows how to work me or what but I can't keep going in there everynight. It came down to me sleeping on the floor with him in his own room just so I could sleep and I can't do it anymore.
Not to mention, for his nap and bedtime...he does go in his crib now (at around 15 months he decided he didnt want to be rocked anymore and asked to be put in his crib) so he does go in his crib and lays down..but I have to be standing right there, if I leave he freaks out. Some nights he cries for me to rub his back..so I will rub than stop. He sits up often and checks to make sure i am still there. He needs to see me standing there. And he doesn't let anyone else put him to bed, not even daddy. So there's some definite separation anxiety. There's so much more...but thats the main jist of it. I don't know if I'm looking for answers or support. His doctors just tell me "some babies are bad sleepers and some are good" and I guess I just have a hard time excepting that.
So Natalie, I completely understand what you're going through. We love our babies but sleep is very important to function and take care of them. Anytime you need to talk I'm here. It's nice to know there are others going through the same thing but in the same aspect, it sucks because I know what you're going through and its not easy! I think my DS has just grown so attached to me (I'm a SAHM) and I think thats mainly the reason but I finally put my foot down, enough is enough. If he wakes up having a nightmare thats one night..but every night?? I just can't do it! As hard as it is sometimes, I think we moms just need to take control sometimes! Good luck! Keep me posted!
