3 month old spirit baby - resists daytime naps and naps are soo short! HELP!

[lindyloo]

Hi everyone,

New to all of this blogging but I am at my wits end 
I have a 14 week old boy who is excellent at sleeping through the night (since starting EASY we have put him down earlier and he now sleeps 10hours uninterrupted from about 9/9.30pm...usually) but he completely fights sleep during the day.
I have been trying the EASY routine as previously getting him to sleep meant rocking him in the car seat, holding him, pushing the pram or feeding him to sleep etc and i needed to break that habit.  Sometimes he would put himself to sleep in his chair or in his cot but that was few and far between although he does put himself back to sleep if he wakes too early in the morning and doesnt need a feed - so we always knew he was capable of putting himself to sleep without our help. 

So he is a great baby at bedtime (although his routine has always been that he gets a 2oz bottle before bed to go to sleep and that still happens - but it works and we're sticking with it) and early in the morning.  The only problem is that he tends to become overtired and melts down VERY quickly and between late morning and late evening he is such hard work! His bad time before the routine was from 5ish till bedtime (when he was getting rocked to sleep)  but now it is pretty much all day. 
I am trying to persevere with the pick up put down method but i find it is not paying off much - it takes me approx an hour to put him to sleep (picking up when he cries, putting down when he is settled) and he is only sleeping for 30 minutes.  When he wakes up he is still tired - I dont think I am rushing in too soon, leaving him to try and put himself back to sleep, sometimes going in when his cries are becoming elevated and putting my hand on his chest to reassure him but nothing seems to put him back to sleep, so I lift him and if he doesnt settle for another sleep and we come down stairs.  Its usually not even close to another E (eat) time so we do activity again (usually something relaxed and quiet as he is still cranky) but as he is still tired he gets grumpy after 10 minutes and I have to start the whole nap routine again.  So just now my routine looks like EASASAE - he eats every 4 hours by the way.

I am reading his signs and when he is tired he blinks for a long time, his eyes become really red, he does the '7 mile stare' and yawns.  I try to get him to bed when i start to notice the first sign - but he sometimes lies awake in his cot for 20 minutes then just starts screaming - other times he will just fall off to sleep - he is so inconsistent!

The past 2 days have been really hard.  His routines have been like this:
06:50: wake up, fed 3.5oz (6oz bottle)
07:15: back to bed wide awake, fell asleep at 07:30am on his own
10:00 woke up
10:45 fed 6oz
11:20 read a book, put in play chair
11:25 (eyes red, long blinks) tired so put in cotwith mobile switched on
11:50 fell asleep
12:30 awake. played on play gym, sang to him etc
13:20 looked slightly tired (turning away from toys, yawned) so laid on couch
13:45 still looking tired so put in cot (started crying right away so p/u p/d)
14:15 quiet but not sleeping
14:20 started crying again p/u p/d
14:30 sleeping
14:55 awake. still loked and sounded tired so tried putting him back to sleep
15:15 sleeping
15:20 awake
15:25 fed 6oz (falling asleep the moment he started feeding)
15:45 v.sleepy so put in cot right away
16:15 upset p/u p/d
16:50 sleeping
17:00 awake (crying)
17:10 p/u p/d and hand on chest to comfort him back to sleep
17:15 sleeping
17:25 awake (crying)
 - tried putting back to sleep but wasnt sure if he had enough sleep and thats why was upset at going into cot so brought him downstairs
17:45 comforted him and played with him in his chair with toys
18:45 Looks tired (big blinks, yawning) so laid on couch as i was thinking he cant possibly need ANOTHER nap and I didnt have the energy for another p/u p/d session
 (husband came home at this point and amused him)
19:50 fed 6oz
20:15 husband was chatting to him and noticed tired signs so put pj's on 7 swaddled
20:55 bedtime bottle (took 2oz) fell asleep
21:05 sleeping and put to bed

I am hoping that if I can prolong his naps he wont need so many and that if he sleeps for an hour or so I can get a shower, eat, sort washing etc - every aspect of daily life is falling apart!
Sorry for writing so much.  I am just desperate for some help.  I have cried along with him all day and cant bear the thought of doing this any more.  Please help.

Lx

[deb]

Have you seen this post on the Naps FAQ's? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=649.0

[Mrs Coops]

Hi
Firstly can I say I'm no expert on naps and EASY but I saw your thread and had to answer!

I have a baby of similar age and the independent sleep thing is still a rare and mysterious event! I think you should cut yourself (and him) a little slack. He is still very young and clearly not able to do it completely on his own yet. Does he fall asleep in your arms? I give DS a chance to do it alone and then I help him, I try and step in before he gets OT otherwise it's a battle!

I was considering doing pu/pd too until I read this:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=121330.0

I think your LO is possibly too young and pu/pd is over stimulating him, what do you reckon?

Also does he always have such a short A time first thing followed by such a long nap? It's possible that that first nap is still part of his night sleep and you maybe want to try to extend that first A time and shorten that nap to two hours. It always seems alien waking a sleeping baby though and my LO used to refuse to wake up!

I'm also thinking that at 14 weeks he's not ready to be on a 4hour EASY. Although some of your feeds are 4.5 hours apart, maybe he's hungry? Take a look at these sample routines:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0

I think if you try structuring his sleep around his feeds things might be easier for you?

As for day to day life is he happy playing in a bouncy chair or on the floor? If so try and do things while he's entertaining himself. I have play mats in every room downstairs and plonk him on one wherever I go, I always talk to him while I'm getting things done so he knows I'm there!

Please bare in mind that you are SO very, very lucky that he STTN already, take that to heart and remember that others (me included) have LO's that wake every three hours!
 
Also he is SO tiny still and loves nothing more than a cuddle with his mummy. I forgot that with DD and spent hours crying because she wouldn't sleep, I screamed back at her and had a miserable time with her, but like your LO she STTN at 5 weeks, I dream of that now! I also regret not enjoying those precious early days with her, she's two next week and rarely wants cuddles now. They grow so fast and need to be enjoyed!

Finally you might want to post your EASY routine on the EASY forum, plenty of experts there to help fine tune things for you. x

Big hugs, you will get there. x

Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will pop along soon. x

[Shiv52]

Agree with Marsha.  Have you tried snuggling him until he is very drowsy and then ssh-patting to get him to sleep.   PU/PD can be very too stimulating especially for spirited babies and I think he is a bit too young for it. 

When did you move to 4 hourly feeds? 


{{{hugs}}}   You're doing great and he will get there. 

[lindyloo]

Thank you all for your replies

Marsha, I am thinking that maybe he is still too young to be expected to learn to sleep on his own all the time, i just see friends babies and read other threads where babies are doing all these great, independent things when they have barely left the womb - but then, they are probably angel babies and I have a spirit baby. 
He actually moved himself onto a 4 hour feeding pattern (approx at 7 weeks old) before we tried the EASY routine, he doesnt even finish a 6oz bottle every 4 hours but still packing on the weight!  Its something to keep in mind though that he may be hungry so I will try topping him up throughout the day.
Also decided that I will try giving him more hugs and kisses to get him to sleep.  I havent wanted to do this as I dont want him to become dependent on me to sleep but he is soo sad just now its heartbreaking, he was previously a really smiley baby so if it makes him happier to get hugs then I am all for it.  Obviously wanted to resist doing this so I could get things done at home but I read this and it kind of put things in perspective:

'I hope when my children look back on today, they remember a parent who had time to play
There will be years for cleaning and cooking, but children grow up when you're not looking
So shush away cobwebs, dust go to sleep
Im rocking my baby and babies dont keep'

Being couped up in the house for days trying to implement this routine has made both of us miserable (we are usually out every day, going walks or visiting friends) so as of tomorrow going to get back out and do something fun and try not to stress about how he falls asleep and when - you are right, he should be enjoyed at this age
Thanks for the reality check.

X

[Mrs Coops]

'I hope when my children look back on today, they remember a parent who had time to play
There will be years for cleaning and cooking, but children grow up when you're not looking
So shush away cobwebs, dust go to sleep
Im rocking my baby and babies dont keep'

I like that!
It does put things in perspective, I need a dose of my own medicine as my LO's night sleep is going from bad to worse! Sat here in tears myself because he's now waking every 90 minutes at night!

Babies are a challenge!