Daycare activities...Is this bad?

[Spandanna]

Hi

I'm not really sure where this post belongs but as it's where DS is occupied for most of the day I thought here would be appropriate. I'm a little bit concerned about the daycare where I send DS but would be interested to hear your experiences and whether you think I'm expecting too much.

Basically these are the things that bother me about the daycare:

1. They don't take the kids outside every day...in fact I've had to aske them to take DS outside, they have a lovely garden with equipment but on a beautiful sunny day they're not outside, let alone a rainy one...surely 7.30am-5pm is too long to spend in one room without going outside

2. The repertoire of activities that get reported back are: playing on floor with floor toys, treasure baskets, 'imaginative toys', singing, very ocassionally something creative like painting or messy play. That's basically it. This has been the same collection of activities since he started there 5 months ago!! He's there for 9 hours a day and when I go to pick him up he's usually just crawling around or wandering around the room.

3. They use the dummy to get him to do stuff, they take it off him and say will you do this so you can have your dummy!! I see two issues with this one being a comfort item being taken away if he doesn't do as they ask and 2. He doesn't even have a dummy at home!!! The ONLY ONLY time he ever has one is if he wakes from a nap early (which he'll settle for without the dummy) as this is the best way to resettle him quickly...I had asked them to stop giving the dummy except for naps which i thought they'd started doing but now things have gone backwards!

Am I being unreasonable here?

[Mama2boys]

nope and I would run, tbh the dummy issue would be big enough for me...how old is you LO? how old are the other kids?

[Shiv52]

Am I being unreasonable here?

Absolutely not.   I would be looking for a chage in daycare to be honest.  My friend's LO is in a creche here and they get a timetable for the week.  There is outside play at least 2 times per day (wet days too!), music time daily, painting daily etc.  The range of activities (or lack of) would put me off but that carry on with the dummy is absolutely ridiculous.

{{{hugs}}}

[macsmum]

go with your mummy instincts

my ds has attended daycare full time until recently, not sure where in the world you are but here outdoor play is encouraged, infact where ds is, they have fulltime access to the outside play area and to water play, he regularly comes home in his spare clothes because they have been playing with the hose pipe

they go to the park atleast once per week and have even been on trips to the woods and lake to explore the wild life etc...................i would definately be asking questions and if not happy looking at moving to a more appropriate care provider..

[ireneee]

Hi,
I agree with pps and to go with your instincts.
You don't mention how old your LO is but at the nursery that DD goes to, even the babies room has an outdoors area and often, when I'm dropping her off, I see them outside with the carers. I think they definitely use it when it's not raining. They do keep the kids indoors when it is too hot outside and it could pose a danger to them but will have the door open so air can come in.
Can you go to visit other daycare places to compare? Have you spoken to any other mums or dads?

[Mama2boys]

DS only goes to playschool for 2.5hrs 2 times a week and every school day they have outside play unless its below 30 deg

[Spandanna]

Thanks ladies, you have all just confirmed that I really ought to start looking around. The main thing that concerns me about moving him is that he has really bad SA amd it has taken months for him to settle down there and be happy with his carers. The girls are lovely there but they just seem a bit young and inexperienced. Perhaps if he were moved up to the next room (they move them at 16 months and he is nearly 14 months) things may be different as there won't be any babies in there, so they must have to do more with them because they are all on one nap and not on 2-3 naps like some are in the baby room where he is...the trouble is I'm not sure at the moment that I want to wait that long but on the other hand I'm really worried as to how he'll react.

The SA thing is really really bad. It started about a months before DS went to daycare and he started to become clingy to me and DH, then after a week at daycare it just started getting worse and worse and now, although he's settled at daycare and doesn't spend the whole day crying (like he used to) he is terrified if anyone new approaches him or if I leave the room (literally hysterical, sometimes he's like this at home too). Even my friends that we see every week aren't allowed to pick him up. He's the same with his Dad and the same at daycare. Thankfully they have the same 4 girls in his room all the time and he know them and is happy with them but they said to me that he becomes scared and very upset if a parent of another child or a new member of staff comes in to the room....

So this is the big thing worrying me about moving him, on the other hand, I feel like he's not learning anything. At home he seems to be picking up new words (understanding rather than saying) every day and he loves books. Nursery don't seem to have picked up on this. I feel like they should be encouraging him to do things but I feel more like they are just babysitting...grrrr. Anyway am going to make some apointments this afternoon to some other nurseries. Fingers crossed

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

Certainly not unreasonable!  I think that's not the place you should have your DS...

[deb]

They should totally be doing more with the kids!

Since you're reluctant to move him, certainly for valid reasons, is there no way that he could be moved up early if he's developmentally ready? Would he have different staff there to interact with who wouldn't hold his dummy over his head like he's a trained puppy?

Can you speak with the management, let them know your concerns? People paying them for child care is what keeps them open and employed, after all, and you don't want to go thru the hassle of looking for another situation either. But the status quo really isn't OK. Not at all.

[rach321]

My LO is at daycare 3 days a week, they do wet play and messy play every day, cooking at least once a week (they usually cook something for their nursery tea!), they go outside every day too - the only exception being if it really is too hot - all of the outdoor play areas are separated by age group and all have shaded areas.  Even in the baby room they go out every day.  I would trust your instincts and start looking around - it sounds like they could be doing so much more for your LO. As for the dummy thing - I would be absolutely furious!

[nwmm]

You can check out the older room and see how you feel about it - - outside play?  Mommy instincts feel better here?  Talk to the parents....

[ireneee]

With the SA, do you think it would help if, once you have made a decision about what you will do, you talk to him about what will be happening? I know he might not respond but you never know what they take in!!!
My LO is due to move up but I was concerned as she has only just changed carers and we went through a month or so of SA, terrible crying when dropping her off and her not even wanting to go through the door to her room but I spoke to a couple of mum friends and they told me to talk to her about it at home, which I have been doing.

Also, I guess whether you move nursery or move him to the next room, he will react the same way so is it possible to arrange to have a/some settling in session/s? We are allowed to make appts where we attend the new room with LO for an hour or so. When we first started, we had about 3 sessions booked, I attended the first one then only stayed for part of the next one. At the last session, I just dropped her off and picked her up again an hour or so later. We've got a session booked next week to go to her new room together for an hour.

Also, I don't know where you are based but in the UK, I believe most nurseries are Ofsted registered and comply with the Early Start programme. Every so often, I receive little reports telling me what the aims are and what has been done to achieve it. E.g. one term, they were learning about making noises so they had play sessions with musical insrtuments - we get photos of them playing!
Do you get anything like this?

[Spandanna]

Hi

Not really. I'm in Birmingham in the UK. I went in for a parents' consultation last week where I raised my concerns about not playing outside often. Since then these other issues have cropped up or been exacerbated.

Basically DS has a book which they write up all his activities in every day and read it out to me when I collect him (which is a good thing, but for the fact that they are clearly spending too much time on daily admin and not enough time on actual child activities!). I did receive a 'newsletter' that outline learning objectives for the term but I don't see that they are doing anything other than singing counting nursery rhymes that matches these objectives.

At the consulation I got to see his development file which was bursting with generic comments> the section on communication basically said 'L can cry and point to his dummy when he is sad'....er wt..? I mean what about the fact that he can say mama, dada, more, again, yes, no. He can clearly communicate what he wants. He can show when something is gone by wiggling his hands. He smiles and claps when you have understood what he's trying to say!! What the hell is it with them and this dummy!!! Fair enough when he started he would be very very very upset all day and they's give him the dummy to calm him down and I had no problem with this but now I feel that they are going too far.

A month ago there were days where they said he's gone the whole afternoon/or the whole day without it, I really thought they were finally on board with this then I told them he only has the dummy to resettle at sleep times and they tried getting him down without it and resettled using it and it worked fine so I really don't understand why all of a sudden it's featuring every time he's a bit grumpy. I feel they must not engage him enough or know how to distract him from his grump! I know they have other children to watch and DS is quite high maintenance but I'm paying £42.50 a day and this is a joke!

Humph

I have 4 appointments now for this afternoon and Monday so will have a look around. I think I will also make an appoinment with the manager beacuse if they could make it work at my nursery I'd be so happy. The location is convenient, the garden and rooms in which the children play/should be playing are fab but I just have these niggling doubts

[Spandanna]

oh also irenepcheung , I think that's a great idea about talking to him, I'm forever amazed at what he understands, like today I asked him to get his hoes from the bathroom (not at all expecting him to get them...he knows shoes but...) he disappeared for a few minutes and came back with his shoes so yep, I think once I have seen the nurseries and made up my mind I'll talk lots to him about what's going on

[nwmm]

When you view the new places, I guess you will need to make sure that what they say is actually what they do.  For example, didn't you say your child is to go outside and they rarely do?

Talk to other parents. 

I really want this to work for you.  I really do.

If I am allowed to say, they don't seem like they get it.  Even if you talk to them.  They just seem to be doing what is easiest and why change?  I am sure it could be really good, like you said, but it doesn't appear as if any of the teachers are willing to change or to budge.  I apologize if this is to negative of a comment.

Trust your instincts.  Trust the vibes you get at your current school and any new ones you visit.