Am I doing shy/pat wrong?

[Alva]

Hi, sorry for bad English  but I hope someone understand what I am trying to ask here:

I'm about to do shy/pat to help my little four-mounth old boy to relax and fall asleep on his own in his bed. I have done it for a few days now, and it takes at least 30 min. In the night almost two hours...

I'm a little confused about how he is acting. When I put him into his bed, or before, he starts to cry. He close his eyes and he just cries. I put a hand on his chest and try to calm him with hyssssh, but he is waving his arms and legs and wont settle at all. He is not looking at me, just screaming loud. After a few minutes he starts to cry even harder and I pick him up. It doesn't help a lot, he's just keep on crying and crying, waving and...i don't know the word...kicking (?) with his legs. I have red that I should hold him until he's completely calm, but he almost never calm down. He just falls asleep in the middle of the cry. I feel his head falling down on my shoulder and he stops crying. I put him down and he's asleep. So, he don't really falls asleep in the bed I think, cause I don't have "time" to put him down. I have tried to put him down after about ten minutes, but he starts to cry even harder the second I put him in the bed, almost hysterical, and I fell I have to pick him up again.

My question is what I can do about this? I want him to settle in bed, bud I feel like he can't, and almost starts to cry as soon as he see the bed... am I doing it right or how can I do to help him?


Please, if you understand my bad English :-) I really need feedback on this!

[elmarie]

Hi and welcome to BW 

It does take a while before they get used to a new sleep technique, you just have to be consistent.

Do you do a good winding down routine to make him nice and relax and sleepy?

Here is a link to help you with the technique of shh/pat http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

Please ask if you have anymore questions 

[Ronster]

I'm definitely not an expert but I think it sounds like he's too tired (over tired) or over stimulated when you try and put him down. You say he starts to cry almost as soon as he sees the cot but I don't THINK (could be wrong) that they can form negative associations at this age - and it doesn't sound like there's any reason why he would get a negative association? Maybe you're believing this to be the case because you can't see any other reason for him to be so upset?

My son used to scream hysterically when I'd try and get him to sleep, then like yours he'd just stop and go straight to sleep. it took a while for me to realise that he screamed when he was over tired. My 2nd son waves and kicks his legs when he starts to get tired and it's a sign that he's about to get over tired so I know I have to get him down straight away. I think it's the actual process of trying to get to sleep that makes them upset when they're over tired. They might be calm, but as soon as they start feeling themselves go through the stages, they don't understand it and their only outlet is to cry.

Have you read the sleep interview with Tracy? I think this is the link http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=451.0. Let me know if you can't view it. Also this is a good one to help you understand the process of sleep. Just thought it was interesting reading! http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64515.0

Hope things are getting better. Pls let us know how you're getting on. By the way I think your English is very very good! x

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Also, if you'd like to post how his routine goes on a normal day we can see if we can help at all.  Try posting in this type format....


7: Wake up
8: Eat breakfast
9:30: Nap
11:00: Wake up

etc