Please help -- sleep training 10 month old

[mamajonathan]

Hello, I'm new to the forum.

We've recently moved to southeast asia from the states.  In the states, we used EASY from about 6-7.5 months with good success, although we were still having one night feed about 4 am.  DS went to bed about 7 pm -- up for the day about 6 am. 

Then we moved -- 14 hour jet lag.  With the travels, I totally gave up on EASY.  Then we got over jet lag about 5 weeks ago, started training a bit with moderate success for about a week.  Then RAMADAN started -- the Muslim fasting month.  Because we are in the tropics, we do not have windows that shut completely and the local mosques were calling at all hours of the night, waking the babe.  He just didn't get used to it quickly -- so I went back to feeding him and comforting him in the night.

Now Ramadan is over, DS is 9.5 months old.  Now he's able to stand in the crib (know's how to get down on his own) and used to mommy picking him up and feeding him in the night.  When I've tried shush-pat before he just gets angry and screams.  Now my husband says we have to get him to sleep through the night ASAP before DS learns to say "Mama" because he knows I won't be able to resist.  DS wants him to cry it out. 

I'm kinda terrified  -- I know it's time to sleep through the night but I'm scared of the process.  Please give me some support, encouragement and advice what to do in the night!

[mamajonathan]

Hi -- it's me again.  Update

I just spoke to my husband after reading some of the materials here.  I think our best bet is to try the pick up-put down method with a dream feed at 10 pm (bedtime at 7 pm) and goal is no nursing until 4 am (usually have been nursing at 1-2 am).   My husband is in agreement with the theory but we'll see how reality goes.  Please pray for us!  I don't know if I can do PI/PD 50 times without giving in and nursing my baby.  I have to keep my mind right that I'm helping him!

Thanks,
Jennifer

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Hi Jennifer!  Welcome to BW.

Wow, sounds like you had quite a few barriers to helping DS learn independent sleep there for a while!  I'm glad things are settled down and that you're ready to go.

Well done searching the forums as I was just about to suggest PU/PD.  As you saw, it really does work best if you stick to your guns.  It's tough but you can do it.  Most people see really dramatic results after 3 nights.  Usually the first night is the worst, and be prepared that you might not sleep much at all.  It feels terrible but it almost always gets so much better from there.  The 2nd night will take a little less work, same with the 3rd, and from there things should get a lot easier.  But it's all about consistency. 

You can do it!!  It really is to his benefit to learn how to sleep on his own.  It's a lot of work but it really does pay off for both of you.  I wondered for many, many nights what the heck I was doing but now my guy sleeps 2-3h during the day and around 12h at night without a peep.  Some of that is developmental but a lot of it is the hard work we put in.  Keep us posted and let us know how we can help.

[calimama]

I was going to suggest PU/PD, too. I don't know if this'll make you feel better, but the first few nights, it took over 100 times before our son went to sleep! It was so crazy. But the next night, it was like 100 times, the third night, it was closer to 50, etc.

I mean, we were a serious case! I totally relied on nursing my son to sleep before that. He was waking up almost every 40 minutes and I was feeding him so he'd just fall back to sleep! So we had to undo a lot of that.

Just wanted to tell you so that you don't feel discouraged. It's really rough the first several nights, but it gets better.

[mamajonathan]

Hi,
Well, a report on our first night.  It went well and we achieved our goals (to have DS not nurse for 6 hours or until after 4 am.)  It helped that my husband was highly motivated to help.  We didn't do PI/PD per say, but when DS cried my husband went in and did a shush-stroke-on-the-back which worked perfectly!  (DS got mad with shush-pat.)  Also, husband did not pick him up or try to make him lie down when he stood up at the side of the bed -- he just stroked baby's back until he kind of laid down on his own from exhaustion and eventually started soothing himself.  A good first night.  Now we're heading into second night with the exact same goal -- fortunately husband doesn't have to go back to work for another day.  Thanks for your support -- it helps just knowing you are here! 

Thank you!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Great work to all 3 of you!!  Well done.  I'm glad you found a soothing technique that worked for DS.  Every babe is different and sometimes you need to play around with different strategies.  I'm glad DH is home to help.

Keep us posted and keep up the good work!

[fireredjewel]

sounds like you have an AMAZING husband!!! You are truly blessed to have him helping you in this way.
Keep up the good work!

[mamajonathan]

Well guess what mamas?

No intervention with DS last night from 10pm - almost 6 am!  We all got the most sleep we've had in 10 months and we feel GREAT!

I could hear him whimpering a few times last night and listened to see if he needed us.  Before I knew it all was silent and we were all sleeping again.  He woke up at about 5:30 am and played and talked to himself quietly in his crib for about 15 minutes before daddy went and got him.  We all woke up smiling!

I love the Baby Whisperer!  Thank you Tracy, and thank YOU other mamas here who are continuing her legacy of help to families like us.  When I came to this forum I was so shocked and saddened to learn that she's been gone for several years already!  How amazing and wonderful that her work continues on.  Thank you! 

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Fantastic news!!!   Isn't BW the best?

You should know that LOs often have a regression after doing great for a few days on a new routine but just keep on keeping on and you'll get him there.

Big hugs to you and your family.

[mamajonathan]

Yep -- bad regression last night.  First of all DS woke up before his scheduled Dream Feed at 10 pm.  So I went ahead and fed him quick but it didn't feel like a real dream feed.

Then at 3 am, he awoke.  It wasn't nice until morning.  Husband tried to help him -- he went back to sleep once.  But then our local mosque started called to prayer at 4:30 am and it was a wash after that.  Husband tried to help, but got frustrated and finally made ultimatum -- "We're not going into his room again until 6 am!"  Miserable!

But now we are exhausted and back on track, did a lot of reading today on this forum and have ideas for tonight.  Husband requested me to write up a sleep plan so that we are both on the same page.  He's a great guy, really!

Thanks for being here!

[cactus]

Have been pysching myself to do it, tonight the night. That's why on here seeing that i can be done!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Oh no.  Sorry you had such a tough night.  I'm glad you have a plan and that you and DH are on the same page.  Sounds like the call to prayer is really tough for your LO (understandably!).  Do you have white noise going in his room to try to drown it out a bit?  (Although I know that might not help all that much.)

[calimama]

I'm sorry to hear about the regressions. I know exactly how you feel. Some nights, I feel like it's WORSE to have had some good nights, because then we expect them! We've been having some bad regressions, but I'm trying to stay positive and trying to remember that we have long-term goals... I also think that my son is congested AND popping out his first molar, so there's always something, isn't there? Oh well!

Good for you and your husband getting on the same page! Lucky you!