Any hope/help for our ew's, or just ride it out until something changes?

[debandbrian]

Haven't been on here in a while but struggling today   so I thought I'd pop by and see if my BW'ers could shed any light. Just noticed my ticker isn't up to date - the wee one is 20 mos.

Been having ew's for a while now - 5 or 5:30am and really we've just been managing. On weekdays all 4 of us need to be ready, fed and out the door at 7:30 so a 6 or 6:30 wakeup is what we need anyways.  He's usually to bed around 6:30pm, getting 11(ish) hour nights.

But we're on the daycare's nap schedule, and this morning his first squawk was just before 4 and up for good at 4:30. We tried an earlier nap (9am) but he wasn't having it. Finally got him down around 10:30, and of course he'd unbeknownst to us turned the 60min timer on on his white noise machine, so in my brilliance I thought 'he's got to be sound asleep, I'll go in and turn it back on' which of course woke him up. So we are going to have a seriously o/t day I think.

So I guess two questions here - (1) can we fix our regular routine or should we just ride it out until something changes, as it always does? and (2) what should we do with the rest of today and tomorrow (Sunday - no daycare!) Thanks so much!!

Regular days look like this:
5:30 wakeup (but often closer to 5)
12:30 - 2:30 is the daycare's nap time, I wonder if they sometimes go down a bit earlier and I'm also not sure if he gets the full 2 hours
6:30 bedtime here

Today was like this
3:50 - a squawking, didn't check on him, not sure if he went back to sleep
4:30am up for good
10:30 - 11:30am nap interrupted and couldn't get him back down
what now??

If anyone can get us on track (if it can even be done) I know it will be you lot! Thank you so much!!!

Deb

[momtonb&ab]

Deb,

i am going to give you a little bump here, see if i can get some eyes on it for you.

the only thing i can think is to wonder if is if you can get him to bed any earlier?  i am sure that is an almost impossible suggestion if you are all out during the day but if nap time isn't perfect, perhaps a really early bedtime would help get him caught up a bit.  it seems almost a bit like accumulating slowly overtired. ...

but let's see if we get some more eyes on it.

[speechie]

hugs deb- EWs are the pits!!
I agree with Cherie- an earlier nap might help, and actually if you can push bedtime back slowly, he may start to drift a bit later in the AM eventually too- Maybe 15 mins later for 2 weeks, than a 7:00 bedtime? just a thought...
I've actually got the opposite problem, my LO drifts later and later, just naturally- great, right?? Try telling that to me at 10PM...LOL.. you are sooo not alone!

[debandbrian]

Thanks ladies, we suspect too it's ot. Unfortunately can't control the nap time Mon-Fri - it's the daycare's schedule and the lunch comes in catered at 11:30 so even if they wanted to put them down earlier (which I don't think they think too much about!) by the time they get everyone fed and diapered and actually to sleep I don't think it can be any earlier. On weekends we try about an 11am nap which usually helps but I botched it yesterday by interrupting the nap.

We've just decided to try to do the bath before dinner as the week gets later on as there's no conceivable way to get dinner on the table any earlier and then more like a 6pm bedtime. We'll see! Have never gotten 12hr nights out of this kiddo. Thanks!!
Deb

[debandbrian]

Well...on Tuesday night we let him stay up until 8, and he was up at 5am. Definitely not enough sleep!!

On Wednesday night we attempted to put him to bed at 5:30, at first he seemed to go for it but then after a few minutes of quiet he started to complain, was easily calmed when dh shushed him from outside his door but then dh had to go out and he wasn't having any of it from me. Our so-called "early" bedtime ended up being an on and off crying fit and he was up until almost 8 anyway!

Tonite got him down with almost no problem at about 6:30.
So.........we'll see..............  it's sad that we now view 5:30 as 'sleeping in' and if he ever made it to 6 again, I think we'd feel like we won the lottery!

Any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!! 

[momtonb&ab]

keep at the 6:30 and go 5 mins earlier each subsequent night if he seems tired.  5:30 may have been too early and UT turned into OT with the complaining but if he settled well at 6:30 you have have found the temporary sweet spot to start with and keep going earlier if he keeps waking at 5.   a week or so to catch up and hopfully things will improve and you can get back to a normal bedtime. 

[debandbrian]

We had one 5:30 morning this weekend, the day prior his nap was earlier like 12 - 1:30. We were hoping for a longer nap but he was fine in the afternoon, and his night ended up being 6:30pm - 5:30am. But every other morning has been 5am, this morning was 4:30 (and he fell asleep just before 8am in the car on the way to daycare...) - it's almost as if what we are doing with the naps and the bedtime doesn't even matter!  He is having some really nice quiet winddown time now (his brother had a 5:30 dentist appointment so it's much calmer than usual!) and we're going in for bed pretty soon.  I think we are going to try to tread water a bit for 2 weeks as we change the clocks and I feel like with that it will either miraculously get better, or we'll have an even bigger mess on our hands! But know for sure it's going to shake things up one way or the other, so no point fretting too much right now. Stay tuned, hopefully we'll get it sorted.

Been considering wts, but with wakeup sometimes as early as 4:30, I wouldn't have a clue what time to do it.  And I'm absolutely terrified of waking him too much and not being able to get him back down, and that would be a mess too! Any thoughts?
Thanks!!
Deb

[momtonb&ab]

Unless the wake up time is consistent w2s probably wont help.  It sounds like an OT cycle and you are right to tread water a bit and see what time change brings.  Huge hugs - the transitions are so hard!

[Tweakster]

We have never had luck with W2S - frankly we have never really had luck with anything.  I really do feel it's just something that has to be rode out until they meet the next developmental phase.  I suspect we won't get longer nights until nap is dropped altogether, and even then I am not expecting more than 11 hrs.  Some kids need the sleep but just don't get it no matter what you do.  When we get back to 4:30/5 a.m. wakes it is mainly OT cycle and it takes a while to get out of.  When we get 'back on track' we get 5:30/5:45 and even the occasional 6 a.m. woo hoo lol  If you are offering early bedtime and following his cues as much as possible, you are really doing your job hon.

I think with bedtime you really have to find the sweet spot, kind of what Cherie is saying.  We did a 7:30 bedtime and it worked for a short time but fell apart when he joined the toddler room at daycare, too much stimulation and he was exhausted every day so 7:30 was too late for him.  Now we do 7/7:15 and more often than not he makes it to 5:30 - it's the best we can get in our house without driving ourselves absolutely batty.  His nap is a pretty constant 2 hrs now and like your DS, happens when lunch is over at daycare, ~12:15.  He goes to sleep there without issue.  At home, we have done an earlier nap with mixed success but we find it's best to stick with what he knows, he HATES any change big or small.  I find consistency is more our friend than trying to maximize each day.  If he gets a decent average over the week then we are doing ok.