My 16mo daughter was a great self-settler up until a few wks ago. I would pop her in her sleeping bag and in her cot, walk out and she was usually asleep in less than 2min without a sound. This was for naps as well as bedtime at night. The past few wks she has been standing up and crying as soon as I turn to walk out of the room. I have tried WI/WO which seems to have worked for her day nap, but not for bedtime at night. WI/WO seems to make her really worked up everytime I turn around to walk out. I've done this for up to 40min, but she is so overtired and worked up by then that the only way to get her to sleep is to stay with her.
Lately, I have tried walking out to start with and then just gone back in after the crying and stayed in the room until she falls asleep. She doesn't need to be patted or touched, but is constantly turning around to make sure I'm still there, which I think is really distracting for her. But if she can't see me she stands up and cries immediately. I think I used GW when she was a few months old and that worked well. But now, I don't seem to be getting anywhere with withdrawing out of the room.
I have read elsewhere to leave them cry for a while as long as it's not an emotional cry. The most I've let her cry is about 5min, but it's such an emotional cry with so many tears and sobbing. I think wallking in and out a lot may be a bit overstimulating and disruptive. I feel as though she now knows that if she cries I'll come back in and stay with her. But when she has cried a bit more she's woken up in the night. She has also been waking from every sleep screaming and sounds so scared, whereas she used to wake happy.
I think this is separation anxiety. I've been trying to remember when things changed and I think it may have been when we went through the 2-1 transition and trying to persuade her to have an afternoon nap which she didn't always want and that meant we stayed in the room with her trying to convince her to sleep. Previous to this she hadn't needed any help to sleep.
Here is her routine:
6am-7am wake
12-12.30pm nap, sleeps 1-2.5hrs (usu closer to 1hr)
7 or 7.30pm bedtime (i'm trying to make this closer to 7pm, but it's so hard to time when she's having such trouble going to sleep)
she is generally still STTN
I feel as though my bedtime approach is so inconsistent, but I just don't know what else to do. Would really appreciate some advice!
