18m won't go to asleep on her own anymore!

[LinziB]

Hi All, my 18m old has been a fairly good sleeper since joining BW at 5m old.  We've had our ups and downs but for the past few months she has been sleeping really well, goes down easily by herself and then STTN.

Normally I would get her bottle ready, say goodnight to everyone, put the fan on in her room and close curtians etc. and then put her into the cot - tuck her in with her lovey and bottle and walk out closing the door behind me and 98% of the time she went to sleep like that, the other 5% I would have to do one or 2 WI/WO and then she would settle.   A few weeks ago she started getting upset when I turned to walk out the room but remedied this by saying "mommy will leave the door open and the bathroom light on - it's time to go to sleep" and walk out leaving the door open etc. and she would go down no hassles!

Last week sometime she really started to fuss and I ended up having to sit with her next to her cot or in the chair until she was dead asleep - I don't really want to have to sit there as sometimes it take her 30 or 40min to fall asleep and also I know this will start leading to NW where she will expect me to sit with her 
Normally if she ever did wake at night I would just have to walk in tuck her back in with her lovey and bottle and walk straight out again.

This past weekend we went away and took the camp cot she sleeps in at home with us.  Friday night was a nightmare she was so OT that she didn't fall asleep on the 1.5hr drive to the place (around 5pm so I was hoping for a 20min catnap) and then only got to bed late as she was so worked up and excited then it took me over and hour to get her down and I eventually had to rock her to sleep as she wasn't able to calm herself.  Saturday naptime same story so I just lay on the bed with her and she went to sleep easily like that then moved her to the cot, Saturday night the same story - lay on bed with her until she was asleep and moved her (took 40min for her to fall asleep) - oh by the way we went away with a whole group of friends so noise levels where fairly high thats why I had to lie with her - On Sunday's nap she went down (lay with her and moved her to the cot) and then she slept for 4hrs from 12pm - 4pm when I woke her.

Since Sunday evening we have had to sit with her until she falls asleep and then Sunday during the night she was up for over 2hrs as she wanted someone to sit in her room with her and DH kept going out after he had calmed her.  Yesterday was terrible trying to get her down she was crying for me to take her out of the cot the whole time and eventually settled with me lying next to the cot until she was asleep, one NW and had to once again lie next to cot!

She hasn't been well for the past 6 months with constant flu/colds and ear problems so I know that this has really messed with her ability to sleep well but even while sick she has been able to go to sleep unassisted and STTN.  I know that I have caused this problem and then cemented it by lying with her on the bed over the weekend but I really want to fix this now before it gets any worse - also have about 10 days to do it in as my BIL and his girlfriend are coming to stay with us for 2 weeks and they are using her room so she will have to share with us!

Any help would be great

[Ryan&HollysMom]

at this point i have no idea what to tell you, just dropping off hugs and hoping that someone will have advice for you as i know things are hard enough for you and you could use decent sleep, right? as could she. so...
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[teilvnav]

((Hugs)) Linzi! Sleep regression is so frustrating, especially when you are both also working full time.

Could she be teething, or getting sick again?

If not, then it looks like she is recovering from her disrupted routine the last little while and is OT. The new place, the OT from late naps, the noise, that 4 hr nap... her little pattern is disrupted and it just needs to smooth out again. It isn't your fault, really... you have to have a life and do fun things!

I think that if you put her down a bit early for her next nap, maybe 15-30 minutes early, that would be good. If she falls asleep quickly, that is great because she can catch up a bit on sleep. If she mucks and fusses about for a while, then that is still ok because she won't be as OT as she would have been. And then an early bedtime no matter how well she naps. I would give her one day to nap as long as she wants (capping it at 3 hrs, though), and then cap them at her normal length so that she doesn't rob her night of sleep. Do this for a few days, and see if it helps. You can continue to use WI/WO to help her settle, or GW. Here is a link that will help you decide what is best for you guys: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0. I know that you have had success with WI/WO before, so you could try that again. Or, since she wants you there for her to settle, you could try GW. Pick which one suits your situation the best, and be consistent with it (ie: both you and DH do the same thing to settle her) for a while to see if it helps.

Good luck!!! Let us know how you are getting on, ok?

[LinziB]

Hi thanks for the support Ryan&HollysMom

Update - yesterday DH put her to bed and did WI/WO a few times and stood just outside the door, she cried very little compared to the night before, and she went to sleep within 20minutes and STTN so I suggested maybe he puts her to bed for the next few nights and see if she's better - could be a case of me being way to soft with her and classic mommy manipulation  - my fualt entirely as I feel like I spend so little time with her now that I'm working that I don't want her to be unhappy

Thanks Amy - definately think the disruption to routine didn't help but also that it has been heading this way for weeks now AP by more AP IYKWIM?  She does seem OT but can't adjust naptimes as she has set naps at her nursery school (I'm working full time now) from 12pm - 2pm, they put them down at 11:30am and let them go to sleep - trying to have them down by 12pm and then wake them by 2pm if they aren't awake yet.  Will definately go check out that link you posted and see which will work best and the proper way to do it and give it a try from tomorrow night (will send link to DH also )  I think she has already napped the one day as long as she wants (4hrs on Sunday) so hopefully that helped her to catch up some of the hrs she was missing due to bad nights and short naps and with STTN the night last night she should be feeling better today (although she wasn't too happy when she woke up this morning, my guess she still wanted to be sleeping )

[teilvnav]

Sounds like you guys make a good team! And it sounds like you have a plan. Awesome!

Pity about nursery, but such is life. Oh well, early bedtime could be enough to help her catch up the rest of the way and wake up happy again. If you are having good luck with WI/WO, then stick with that. And it never hurts to have DH pitch in with bedtimes!

[LinziB]

Thanks Amy, read the article now and going to carry on with WI/WO but going to be more sensitive to the different types of crying and spend less time resettling - think it is better he does bedtime for a while cause she knows he means business and she's fairly clingly with me at the moment.  Will keep you posted!

[inoella]

Linzi - just dropping off {{{{HUGS}}}} - good luck with WI/WO.

[Ryan&HollysMom]

i think it's great to have your dh pitching in! not only to help with holly, but also to help you in general, to do some of the things you normally have to do on your own. more {{{{hugs}}}}, good luck with WIWO
btw, i love the new pics, your older dd looks like quite the model!