Wotcher mate
I think you'll need to start with a mix of PD and GW. For example, you've done wind down, you put him in the cot, say your final sleep time words and then move away slightly and sit on the floor/ chair/ wherever.
If he's then going to cry and stand up because he wants your hand, you'll need to gently lie him down, shushing and repeating your usual sleep time words, then move away and sit down again. Repeat repeat repeat repeat until he stops standing up. If he then cries out but doesn't stand up, you can just shush him from where you are on the floor so he knows you are there and finds your presence soothing. I've had to do this with Alex. It can take ages. Especially feels like ages when you are knackered and want to go to bed. But the second night it's quicker. And the third quicker still. Results can be quick if you persevere and are consistent.
You are with him the whole time so he is not left to cry alone; he WILL cry as he will protest strongly because he wants your hand. But if you really want him to sleep independently I don't know of any other way you'll be able to do it without the crying.
The worst thing you can do is start it and then not follow it through. For example, try this and after 30 mins it's not working so you give in and cuddle him/ give him your hand. All that teaches him is that if he cries for long enough he gets mummy's hand, and it will be much much harder to then teach him to sleep without it.
It will be very hard and you know we are all here to support you, and I am only down the road! If you need to get rid of DH for the night to make it work, send him to stay with the parents and you know Mum will come stay with you for moral support!
Sorry if this sounds really bossy and blunt, I don't mean to. You know I love you! xxxxx
