He won't take a bottle and I'm going back to work!

[shark]

DS is 4m old and a grumpy-touchy baseline personality.  He's EBF since birth and has only had 3 or 4 bottles his whole life (first one or 2 not to difficult, later ones required a bit of cajoling but he did eventually take them).  I'm going back to work at the end of the week and DH and I have been trying for 4 days now to get him to take a bottle with no success.  We've both read the FAQ posts and have tried several of the ideas but are rather confused as some of the advice is contradictory i.e. feed when hungry vs feed when not hungry, put nipple on bottom lip vs put nipple on roof of mouth.
Right now when we try to put a bottle in his mouth he starts to shriek and shriek and will not latch.  I tried dribbling some milk in to get him swallowing but he mostly just choked and gagged on it and continued screaming.  We have tried several different nipples with no apparent difference in his reaction though the shorter nipple seemed to cause less gagging.  I even tried nursing with a nipple shield to get him used to sucking on silicone but he refused to latch on that too.  I tried starting him on the breast until he was calm and sucking nicely and pulling a quick switcheroo but he didn't like that idea either.
Not sure what to try next.   I know he won't likely starve himself but this interim screaming is breaking our hearts.  I'm scared I'm traumatizing him (I know it's traumatizing me)!
Any suggestions?

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

My DD1 never took a bottle.  We ended up using Avent sippy cups for her instead (she was closer to 6 months, mind you, but it might work).  To get her to get the idea, I remove the no-spill part and showed her with just water.  First me sucking and then offering it to her really cautiously.  She got the idea fairly quickly.  She wouldn't take tons, but it didn't upset her the way a bottle did.  With DD2 we had a similar problem and ended up using Nuby sippy cups which have a rubber spout and when you sort of gnaw on them, it lets the fluid through.  Not sure if it'll help...  I also personally preferred getting them used to the new equipment when they WEREN'T starving - less threatening.  I'd just offer them to play around with and try with water, then breastfeed at usual times.  Good luck and hugs!

[shark]

We tried letting him gnaw on the nipple when calm and he will gum at it but never latches or sucks, always pushes it to one side of his mouth or the other.  Not sure a sippy cup will work because he won't suck and seems to gag when too much  liquid comes out into his mouth when I drip it from the bottle nipple so I am concerned he will drown with free flow.  What a pickle we're in!

[firsttimemummy]

I found DS would only take a bottle if I wasn't there - once he heard my voice or saw me he would stop immediately .... have you tried getting someone else to give him a bottle while you are out of sight?

Some people use different bottles, with spouts rather than teats, and others use a doidy cup, for example.