Do EW ever go away? - advice for a 21 month old

[cameron09]

I have not been on here a long time, not because my son sleeps wonderfully now, but only because I'm so darn tired I can't get the strength to type!

My 21 month old DS has been doing EW for 3 months.  DST seemed to accentuate the problem or maybe it was coincidence. 

His schedule used to be:
6:45am - wake
11:30am - nap (1.5-2hrs)
7:45pm - bed

Sometimes, depending on his morning and alertness, he would have lunch first, then his nap at 12:30/1pm, but wake up and rising stayed consistent.

Worked like a charm  mostly (he always gets thrown off with company visiting, going away, sickness etc.).

Then he started having the occasional EW of 5:30/5:45am.  It started at 18 months and I thought maybe he was in a growth spurt.  I tried feeding him more before bed and I'd get the occasional sleep in to 6:45 again, but boom he'd revert back in no time to 5:30ish.  No matter what I try, he wants nothing more than to get up and never falls back to sleep.

I've been trying to put him to bed earlier (7:30ish) but he usually resists and doesn't accept going to sleep until closer to 8pm still.

So his schedule these days is closer to:
5/5:30am wake up but I don't let him get up till 6am
11/11:30am - nap (still no more than 2 hr)
7:45pm - bed

Hardly seems like enough night sleep.  Plus, he's waking up cranky and tired all morning.  Lately, he's so OT he falls asleep half the time if you get in the car after a few minutes on the road or in the stroller - I do my best to wake him up but lately he can fall into a deep sleep so quickly and it's hard to get him to wake.  He's exhausted and I'm exhausted - not a fun combo when you work FT either.

So my questions are:
1)  when they EW at 5am caling mommy and crying, do you walk in once, every few minutes or not at all?  I've read mixed reviews.  I started with Wi/WO but got no where.  I've now progressed to WI once, say "sleepy time still", close the door and not return until 6am - the determined OK time to get up.  Still getting no where.  A friend of mine who hired a sleep consultant was told to not even bother going in and just walk in at 6am all cheery and so "good morning"!  I refuse to get him out of bed before 6am, but the crying escalating to screaming is a very stressful start to my sleep deprived mornings!
2)  should I readjust his routine - naps earlier or later?
3) should I readjust his bedtime?
4) or do I have to just accept I have an early riser who sleeps only 9-9.5hrs at night and suck it up

I have desperately ordered a Good Nite Lite in hopes somehow he will grasp the concept of not getting up until 6am.  I have read the columns of some others successes.  He's definitely smart enough to figure it out, but also determined enough to ignore it!  We'll see.

So, any help/advice is SO appreciated as I feel at my wits end with being tired.  Thanks!!!!

[*Becky*]

Hi there,
I will try to answer your questions.
1. If the EWing cries are distressed cries then I would go in but if he is just shouting or moaning then I would try and leave him for as long as possible. We introduced a gro-clock at 22 months and that does help lo's to gradually understand what time is wake up time.
2. I think naptime is fine.
3. I think bedtime should be much earlier i.e. more like 6.30pm asleep. He is doing a very long day and probably getting a second wind by the time he goes to bed which is why it is taking him longer to fall asleep.
4. No I don't think you have to accept 9-9.5 hours at night, something is off and we can hopefully get you back on track.

Is he teething at all?

So...yes try for a much earlier bedtime would be my advice....keep me posted.
Becky x

[cameron09]

Thanks so much!

Yesterday his early cries seemed more distressed but today they were just on/off moans and calls.  Either way, as soon as I go in he stops and says in a cheery voice "hi mommy" so I know it's just him trying to get my attention.

Today he woke at 5:15am.  I got him at 6am.  We cuddled in my bed and then he actually drifted asleep until 7am.  This rarely happens.

I will keep naptime as is.

Yes, bedtime is a tricky one.  If I put him down closer to 8pm he rarely ever fuses and goes straight to sleep.  When I try for 7:30 he puts up a fuss.  So i thought maybe he's so set at 8pm.  It's been this time since he was 1 yr.  However, I think you're right and I'll try in small increments to bump up his bedtime.

He's not teething from what I can see.

I can't wait for the clock to come

[Tweakster]

What Becky said.  Earlier bedtime for sure, even if he wakes at his early time he'll have had more night sleep and won't be as grumbly.  Don't discount teeth either.  They are elusive but moving in there even when we think they aren't.  My kid has been an EW for 21.5 mths now, pretty much since birth.  We have had some small successes but he's always back to waking between 5:30/6 - we have learned to live with it but we know he needs at least 12 hrs in a 24 hr period so we have to swing it to allow for a 10.5 hr night and a 2 hr nap.

The Gro-clock has worked very well here.  This morning I didn't go get him until 7!  He was lying there chatting to his cuddly toys.

[cameron09]

So I attempted an earlier bedtime last night but then his dad arrived home (he'd been gone for a day) and that put us back to his regular 7:45pm bedtime.  However, I heard this morning call out at 5:20am, but it only last a few minutes and then he was quiet until 6:20am.  Yeah!!!!  Maybe it was a catch up night for him. 

I will keep trying for an earlier bedtime.  Should I try and creep it earlier in increments...........say 15 minutes every few nights? 

He has been notorious for being affected by teething, but this has been going on for a few months now and I see no sign of the 2nd yr molars.  Will keep it in mind.

Thanks ladies. 

Another quick question:  when I get the clock, how do I introduce it?  Just go in at 5am and say see the "sun" isn't up yet"?

Thanks

[clazzat]

I found that there was a long period of EW - which I'm sure was teeth-related - before there was actually any sign of teeth.  I wouldn't rule out teeth completely.  Have you ever tried giving meds when he wakes early?

As for the gro clock, I think that is the way to go - essentially you do a wiwo, saying each time that the sun isn't up yet and it's not time to get up, and then make a big deal when the sun is up and bring him out of his room.  We had lights on a timer rather than the clock, but it only took 3 days for her to understand it at about 18/19 months.

[cameron09]

Just thought I'd give an update.

So for about 2 weeks we had no EW's! He woke up between 6-6:30 and it was wonderful!!!!!!  I realized he did indeed cut his first 2nd yr molar at some point.  I notice he has another one trying to push through and low and behold, in the last week he has started to EW again anywhere between 5:30 and 6am.  I've tried tylenol at bedtime but if I go in there at 5:30 and try and give tylenol he will be very upset that I'm not getting him up, so I have taken the route of not going in until 6am every morning despite hearing him call "mommy".

I did get the good nite lite (moon/sun) in the last week.  He seems to like seeing the blue moon when he goes to sleep and says "blue lite sleep mommy".  I go in at 6am and have the sun to come on at that time and he always says yellow sun when I open the door at 6am and I make a big deal about it now being OK to get up and make noise.  However, he still makes noise before 6am.............here's to hoping that time will make this better.

Truthfully, I think it is indeed a teeth thing and for my DS it just seems to take weeks/months of sleep disruption.........too bad for mommy!  I sure hope it clears once these teeth are in........

Thanks for everyones input

[clazzat]

Sorry that you are getting EWs again, but it's good to know that there is a reason for it.  They do finish teething eventually!

[Tweakster]

And then there are those that continue to wake even after all teeth are in...5:15 for us this morning. 

[cameron09]

argh...........sorry to  hear that Wendy.  I really think spirited LO's have the hardest time with sleep no matter what.  Well here's to hoping these teeth get in and we get a reprive before the next reason to EW!

[Tweakster]

For most I think teeth are the reason, or perhaps they start as the reason and then it just becomes so habitual that you can't fix it.  Body clocks are strong.

He did go back to sleep this morning after some intervention from DH - first I went in and angrily told him that the sun wasn't up and it was still time to lie down and be sleeping...and then DH went in and used some AP and he went back to sleep until 7:15.  So clearly OT and not able to figure out what to do himself.  Even now at nearly 2 years of age.

But mine is the worst case scenario so it will be much better for you :-)  Your LO has shown he can and will sleep until later...he's just a bit derailed at the moment.

(((hugs)))