18 month old sleep is all over the place

[babybarr]

I would stick with the sitting for another day or so.  I would aim for nap a tad later if she has another good night

[danacarrie]

Just updating here:
Yesterday was like this:
6:30am wake
attempted nap at 12:30, asleep by 12:45
12:45-2:25 nap (we didn't wake her)
7pm bed, didn't fall asleep until 7:35 and was acting sleepy but also playful
10:30 NW, took about 10 min to fall back asleep
6am wake, very hard to get back down, slept in 20-25 minute increments until 8am.  Woke up tired.

Today she is back in daycare.  We'll see what happens.  We are talking with a sleep consultant tomorrow, too.

Thanks,
Dana

[danacarrie]

Hi, tonight was my first attempt at GW.  It didn't go well.  I think I waited a little too long for bedtime, and then I think I attempted too much too fast.  I guess I will need to slow it down.  She was definitely tired, but just the slightest change to the routine freaked her out.  I also think I tried to move away from her while she was still too alert.  "Drowsy but awake" might mean "pretty much almost asleep".  I guess I was feeling optimistic that she could do it. 
One question- when I moved away from her crib (I moved about 1 foot away, fully in view), she stood up, and simply would not lay down unless I layed her down again.  Then as soon as I moved, she popped up again.  I said "please lie down" and put her back down about 10 times before I gave up and just stood right next to her.  What am I supposed to do in those moments?  Just let her stand there and cry?  I'm standing RIGHT THERE!  Its clearly a protest cry, its not SA since I am 1 foot away.
Thanks for any support.  This was a rough night.

[sianie]

Hi there....

Thought I'd jump in & offer a new set of eyes! It does sound like there's a few things going on (OT/possibly teething & SA) all of which are unfortunately sleep busters.

You mention she naps well at daycare? What do they do differently to you?

Have you read this? If not it may help you with GW...

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

As Laura has said at around 18 mo LO's sleep can go off track for both developmental reasons but also 2nd year molars can start to come through around this time. The thread below may be of some use to you?

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=176250.0

Sometimes it's a case of riding out these wonky sleep phases & trying to to minimise OT as much as possible. I think the key is to try & stay as consistent as possible with what you're doing (although I know it's hard when you are tired & desperate to get things back on track!).

[danacarrie]

Hi, thanks for the support.  Here's where we are.  I attempted the first night of GW last Wed.  I couldn't take even one step away from the crib without a freakout and ended up putting her down like usual (standing right next to her, with my hand on her intermittently).  We had a couple of NW but not too bad.
The following night (Thurs), DH and I decided to "reset" and have him do bedtime, since he is not stuck next to her crib.  He has only established that he sleeps on her floor in the middle of the night if she wakes up and can't settle.  He successfully got her down by doing a nice winddown, putting her in bed, singing a song, saying "night night" and then lying on the mattress, which we moved closer to the door.  She didn't even check for his presence and STTN!
Friday, she woke at 6:45am and had a great day.  She took a nap from 12:30-1:30pm and we put her to bed with lights out at 7pm.  We had moved the mattress much closer to the door, and once again, there was no crying and she STTN.
Saturday, she woke in a good mood and took a car nap from 12:40pm-2:25pm.  We attempted bed at normal time and put the mattress outside her door in order to try to have him be able to soothe her from there.  She immediately cried and didn't like it- he tried to settle her for a little while but no luck, so he moved the mattress back in the room but close to the door.  She woke at 8:30pm but was really easy to settle.  Woke again at 12:30am and DH went back to sleep on the floor until 2 or so, and then was able to come back to bed.  LO woke at 6:15am, DH went to sleep on the floor and they woke at 7am.
Sunday was another car nap but we limited it to 12:30-1:45pm.  She had a great afternoon and DH managed to fit the mattress in her doorway so that she could still see his head but he was halfway out the room.  She fell asleep at 7:30pm and STTN!
So, the pattern we notice (and we've noticed this for a while) is that if there is any crying at all at bedtime, we are likely to get NW.  If not, she might STTN.  Its almost like as long as she is secure from the beginning that someone is there, she is fine all night. I am wondering how we are ever going to get all the way out of the room at bedtime with this scenario, but I am also wondering if it really matters.  Don't lots of kids need help at bedtime?  If DH is ok with the situation, it seems ok to keep it going for now. 
My biggest hesitation is a babysitter, but maybe we need to just bite the bullet and try it.  Maybe LO will go to sleep independently for someone else, the way she does at daycare. 
Another thought- is it possible that her sleep needs have gone way down?  She seems to sleep through the night best when she has had 11 to 11.5 hours at night and 1 hour nap that ends before 2pm.
Any thoughts?
Dana

[sianie]

Thanks for the update....

Yes, LO's sleep needs can change & at around 18 mo they do go through quite a big developmental leap so this could be partly it. An 11hr/11.5hr night is pretty good going TBH & it's hard to know whether the crying at BT is down to SA/OT &/or something else so as with all things it's a process of elimination!!

Has she always had short naps? I only ask as a 1hr nap for an 18mth old is short, most LO's your DD's age are having around 2hr nap. I just wonder on the nights that she cried going to bed, NW's etc whether she's OT from the short nap? Does she naturally wake after an hour nap? Does she wake crying or is she in a good mood?

Sounds like your DH is doing a great job with the GW!  I would stick with it for now & gradually work towards get further out of the room....

[babybarr]

I remember sitting with my little brother when he was about 2 (I was 17) until he fell asleep.  I think you're right sometimes they just need to feel secure at the beginning.  The next step would be to get rid of the mattress and just sit in the door.  Then you can try being out of sight and just simply talking to her - options if you want them.  With my brother I think my mum ended up buying him a large soft toy which was then his comforter instead of someone sitting with him.

[danacarrie]

We are working toward getting DH farther and farther from LO at bedtime and at NW.  The last two nights she has fallen asleep easily at 7:15pm.  One night she STTN, last night she woke at 2:30am but it was easy for my DH to get her back down.  Also, at bedtime we had moved the mattress maybe 6 inches closer to the door.  Tonight we might hit the point where my DH is "right there" but she can't see him. 
My question is- when we get to the point that she protests his being farther, what do we do?  Is that when we kick into WI/WO?  Or do we just stop and have him stay as close as makes her comfortable?  I am ok with the idea that she will cry/protest a little, but I don't want her to get worked up, and I want to be able to be consistent in the middle of the night when its hard to have her crying at all.
Thanks,
Dana

[sianie]

I think if it were me & she started to get upset as she couldn't see me the I would move back into the room slightly & use my voice to try & calm her. I think it also important to distinguish between her cries i.e. is it a mantra crying as opposed to a distressed cry (which you need to act on).

Sounds like you have been making progress so well done!

[danacarrie]

We had huge progress last night!
First, when we got home, I showed LO where daddy would be when it was bedtime (almost out the door, where she can't see him).  With all the lights on, before dinner, I put LO in her crib and I layed down where he'll be, and poked my head out to show her that he will be "right there".  She cried and didn't like it, so I was nervous for the night.
But... she went right to sleep and didn't even check for him, and STTN!  It was huge!  It was a long wind down (certainly not the old "just plop her in the crib and leave" routine) but DH did the routine, went and lied on the mattress, which was "right there" but she couldn't see him, and she went right to sleep without checking for him.
I am thrilled!
I hope it continues...
And then we have to work on me. 

[sianie]

Great news! Your DH sounds like a real star!! FX the progress continues....

[babybarr]

Great news!  I think this is probably the turning point for you guys.

Keep us posted.

[danacarrie]

We have definitely turned the corner!
DD is going down with DH between 7-7:15 each night, and mostly sleeping through until 6:45am, with a 1-1.15 nap from 12:30-1:30 or 1:45pm. 
Yesterday, she didn't nap until 1:45, so I woke her at 2:30 to try to preserve the long night (she refused her nap until DH brought her to the couch with him).  She went to sleep easily at 7:20pm but woke at 6:15am.  We got her back down until 7:15am on the couch with DH, and we had a great day.
Today ended up like this:
6:15 wake
6:25-7:15am back to sleep
12:40-2pm nap
7pm sleep easily
Now we need to work on me being able to do bedtime.  Our plan is to start slow, so tonight I did the bath, pjs, story, move to crib, and then DH came in and did the song, and said goodnight, and moved to his spot on the mat which is now basically all the way outside her door.
Tomorrow night we'll probably try to have me do the whole thing, but I am really nervous.  I watched what DH did, and what I noticed was that he truly is emotionless when telling her "lie down", etc.  I try to be, but I am clearly wrapped up in it!
Anyway, we have 4 nights to get it under control because he'll be gone on Friday night and I'll be alone.
Wish me luck!
Dana

[babybarr]

Good luck!  Think positive