help, please, very seriously considering CIO tonight

[mysweetgirl]

I need to have someone else other than myself to look at this and figure it out

My LO is 4 and a half months (almost) and has been wakign every single hour all night long. I seriously cant take it one more night.
If you have seen some of my other posts, she was waking a lot as she was approaching 4 months and people on here thought it was possibly a growth spurt. I think it probably was, too. I am not sure though because it lasted 3 weeks long. But there wasnt really any other explanation.

Then all of a sudden she started sleeping better and we didnt change anything. She woke 1 or 2 times a night. But it only lasted 5 days.

Now she is literally up each hour of the night. Sometimes every half hour. She does not seem to be in any pain. She smiles as soon as I open the door. I dont go in right away. I let her fuss until it turns into a hard cry then I go in. Then she smiles and I guess she wants me to pick her up. I usually shh/patt her back to sleep without  picking her up. She cries harder at that point. I do feed her if it is after midnight and no more than every 3 hours. I did BF her each time I went in ..but I had to change that because there is no way she needs to eat every hour of the night and it would become a bad habit. I BF her. Sometimes it takes a lot to get hr back to sleep, other times a few pats and she goes back to sleep. But then she is up in half an hour or an hour.

My thought is that she is using me as a prop. But I dont know for sure. She doesnt self soothe very well and I desperately wish I could find a way to teach her. I have been doing BW since she was 8 weeks old and she is very familiar with shh/pat and usually respods to it well. Not as much lately. She cries harder now. How can I teach her to suck her thumb? Or find someway to get back to sleep without needing my help?

I know tonight is going to be awful and I am really at the end of my rope. I am so fed up that I was going to let her CIO. It is the only thing left I know how to do. I did it with my older kids and I know it worked. I dont want to do it though because after reading about it I dont think it is the best choice. Which is why I am desperate for other ideas. But I cant go on like this.

I cant think of what else to say except she is on a 4 hour EASY and her naps are hit and miss...usually 45 mins long but I canusually extend them a bit longer. She goes to bed perfectly.

Thank you. If someone could just give me some other ideas to try tonght. I have tried to remain patient and calm but I cant do it anymore.

[deb]

If she's on a 4-hour EASY with only 45-minute naps, guaranteed she's OT probably by lunch, let alone bedtime, and probably tunning on sheer adrenaline by evening, so a restless night is almost a given. You say she doesn't seem to be in any pain but have you tried pain meds before sleep time? Nat surprised us by popping her first two teeth around 4 months, precocious little so and so. Is there any chance of reflux, even silent reflux? On the Colic/Reflux/Crying board is a Reflux 101 sticky with some symptoms to look for and things to try. Has she started solids? If so, may be a food reaction or tummy-ache.

For the NW, since she's escalating into a hard cry, I would go in the moment you hear her stirring and try resettling before it escalates. The more wound up they get, the longer it takes for them to resettle, by and large. I actually slept on the girls' floor on a couple of folded-up quilts (some people use an air mattress) so I could jump on the NW's before they escalated. We did have to wean that, but at the time it kept them from waking so fully most of the time, and I had the option of just letting them sleep with me so we could, well, SLEEP and break the OT cycle - and then once they AND I were better-rested we could set about sleep training. I also delegated some of the NW's to DH - he would do anything before 11PM and after 4AM since he had to get up early for work anyway, so I got a block of time in the middle.

Even Ferber himself didn't recommend CC or CIO for babies under 6 months, so I would do your level best to avoid it especially so young. It's so so SOOOO hard when you're sleep-deprived, but it can really cause all kinds of things to go wrong, not the least of which is outright fear of the crib/cot altogether, which can really mess up any sleep training you're trying to do, which is why BW and CIO really aren't compatible.

[mysweetgirl]

What would my EASY look like if she takes 45 min naps then? She can sometimes go an hour to an hour and a half but most times it is 45 mins.

Yes, I have given her Tyenol before bed incase she is teething but it had  no impact on her sleep.

She has reflux which is being treated with Prevacid and she is followed by a Pediatrician. It seems to be under control and I am not sure that this is why she is waking so much.

I have had some time to re-focus from such a bad night and did some more research on CIO and I really dont want to do it and dont plan on it tonight anymore. In the middle of the night I decided CIO was the only way to teach her to self soothe becausee nothing I was doing was working. I am so frustrated in the middle of the night and I have NO idea what to do.

Do you think she is just waking habitually to get me into her room? Do you think she is making sleep associations? She seems fine as soon as she sees me. Then gets so upset when she realizes I am not going to pick her up.

She wont self soothe very well. I thought she was going to take to her thumb but she has stopped being interested in sucking on it. She wont take a paci either. She just lays flat on her back and cries with her arms out by her sides.

If she is OT, how is the best way to arrange her naps during the day so she is more rested at night??
Thank you so much!!!

[deb]

I'm trying to remember what you've tried to extend her naps but all the posts run together. LOL Have you read our experience with Josie's 45-minute naps? We were finally able to extend those, although her being on the right dose of reflux meds helped a lot. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=649.0 Basically, being there when she woke and getting her back to sleep BEFORE she woke fully was key. Didn't work 100% at first, but we got the hang of it after a while and got to more like an 80% success rate in a couple days. (Side note - can't hurt to confirm that the Prevacid dosage is correct - there are some links someplace to Kellymom I think with dosages per body weight, maybe one of the more knowledgeable moms can pop in with those links?) Edited to add: might be some in here: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=70373.0

Anyway, I'd either extend her naps as best you can OR I'd plan on shorter A times (so adding in a couple of those short naps - they aren't really restorative being so short, but adding a couple more can help take the edge off the OT) after short naps. Totally throws off the EASY, but as long as you're still feeding *around* every 4 hours around the odd sleep times you should be OK.

[Shiv52]

Deb has given some great advice.  Are you bfing or FF?  Do you feed in the night?  Do a DF?

Persistant wakenings at this age are most likely to be hunger or discomfort (so am thinking reflux) rather than crying to get you in the room.   The other culprit is the OT. 

I totally agree with Deb about resettling the second she stirs.  If she doesn't have self soothing skills yet then there is little point in leaving her to see will she get herself back to sleep especially where OT is involved because she will just escalate to the point that she is so upset that she will take ages to get back to sleep.  My 5 month old still wakes about 3-4 times a night and I resettle very quickly as she goes right back over to sleep.  She is beside me in her cot though so its easy to do. 

Is your LOs crib elevated? 

Can you post you routine as it is and let us take a look?

[Shiv52]

Have a read here too:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=188159.0;topicseen

I posted an example of a routine with a short napper on your nap thread. 

[my3girlsjde]

My twins who had reflux would often scream and then immediately smile when we went in the room. It was infuriating because it felt as if we were being 'played'. I found out later it was due to the reflux waking them, but they were easily distracted from reflux pain. Just not enough to sleep

Is she teething? Teething and growth spurts can be horrible for refluxers. They can trigger 'flare ups' that are hard to deal with, and leave the lo wanting to frequently nurse as it helps with the discomfort.

[srs]

sorry i cant help at all but am in exactly the same boat. DS (5.5months) wakes every 45mins to an hour but manages to sleep from 6pm to 10pm. i too have tried pain meds for teething he already had 2 teeth at 3months, gaviscon for reflux (which doc thought he might have but doesnt seem like he does as is so happy and no vomiting, think he just had a formula reaction). He knows how to resettle but suddenly seems to need me all the time. He also only naps for 45minutes so i am trying to build in 4 of these a day at least but im sure he must still be overtired. i know its really hard but try and relax, have a cup of tea, some chocolate and vent to a friend. im hoping that he grows out of it and in the meantime im just trying to not introduce too many bad habits. Also the only other thing i am trying is a comforter which i have slept with to see if this helps. sorry im not any help but sending you lots of hugs and prayers for a good night

[mrsmonty]

hey jus havin a look at your thread and i had the same problem with 45 min naps but i found if left alone she wud resettle and go back for another 45mins. the 45 min nap problem was real bad for me around 4 month mark but now i am finding (dd now 6.5 months) she normally goes for longer. she wil stir after 45mins but wil go back to sleep so hopefully yours will find longer naps easier.
so many ppl have told me that gettin the naps right durin the day equals better nights sleep.
am no help on night wakings as our nights have taken a turn for the worst (hence me readin this in the first place!)