Help with 3 month old - starting EASY

[Kta400]

Hello,
I have a 14 week old little boy who was 4 weeks premature. He has reflux and is currently medicated. He has really grown quickly and is now 15 pounds! He has not been the best sleeper and because of the reflux early on, my husband and I got into some bad habits of rocking/shhhing him to sleep because he was so fussy. I know we have a number of things to work on and I am not sure if we work on changing them all at once or one at a time. I want to figure out what schedule is best for us... 3 hour? I have been charting his eating and sleeping since December so I have a good idea what he is doing now. Here are some of those issues:

1. Going to sleep independently. I am trying to put him down when he is tired now but not asleep. This is really hard because he is use to us rocking him and the sound of our bathroom fan (the only thing to calm him before). I have him out of the bathroom now but when I put him down to sleep - he fusses until I pick him up again. I have tired rubbing his tummy and shhhhing him first but he continues to fuss.

2. He wants to eat every 2 hours.  He usually only naps 45 minutes during the day so when he wakes up he wants to eat. He use to sleep longer (1-2 hours) and then would eat closer to 3 hours. Once he wakes up early... do I hold him off with play or try to get him to go back to sleep?

2. At night, his bed time is between 7-8 depending on when he ate last. I think our problem is lack of consistent eating schedule. I haven't tried a dream feed yet. He normally goes down around 8:00 and will sleep for 3 hours and want to eat again. There have been a few nights where he has slept for 4-5 hours but they are not consistent.

Please help!
Thank you!
Katie

[Kta400]

I just realized that I posted this in the wrong place! This should be in the EASY section. Sorry!

[Yazzie]

Welcome to the boards Katie:)

Those first few months aren't totally easy, and especially with reflux, but hang on in there, we're all here for you

Considering that your little guy was born 4 weeks early, then we'd treat him as 10 weeks old with respect to EASY. At this age you'd still be following a 3hrs routine with an A time of ard 01.00 hr. If he wakes up early from a nap you could try to extend the time before the next feed, but it really is okay if it's 10~15 mins earlier or something, and you'd adjust the rest of the day accordingly.

Sleep training takes some time especially if you've already slipt into some bad habits, been there, done that!...would he take a paci to help him calm down, and do you have a wind down routine? I swear by pat/sh, however you sometimes need to vary it a bit to suit your lo, for instance with ds I mostly patted across his chest (he slept on his back) and did very little shushing as it used to bother him.

Here are some links that would give you ideas about the routine, as well as sleep training:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164027.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=186622.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=180311.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64277.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85500.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

Sorry if this seems too much, just tried to gather as many resources as possible:)

[Kta400]

Thank you so much for responding! I have been working all day on building independence for my little man at nap time. It is so hard! He goes down easy the first time but if he wakes up he cries so hard. I try to pat his tummy or roll him on his side to put his back or bottom while I shhh him. He sometimes stops crying but the moment I leave him he starts up again! I know it takes time and I will keep trying. I just hate the screaming! He has never taken a paci before but today I tried one again and he took it. He didn't fall asleep - he just laid in his crib sucking for about 5 minutes and then spit it out crying again. When he is crying, can a pick him up and rock him until he stops crying - then be still with patting and shushing? Then put him down? He loves to be bounced up and down when he is fussy - it calms him down almost instantly.

To wind down, we swaddle him for sure. He loves to be swaddled. I am wondering how long to swaddle him now that he is starting to roll to one side. I don't want him to roll over and not be able to have his hands free. He loves white noise and dark rooms. We usually go into our bathroom with the lights off and fan on if he is fussy. At night, either give him a bath or have some quiet play time. We get into pj's, I nurse him, and read a book.

Thanks for the links! I will read them over now. I really appreciate your input.
Katie

[Kta400]

One more question - when you say he should have 1 hour of Activity - does that mean one hour from when he wakes up or from when he is done eating?
Thanks!

[Yazzie]

You'e most welcome dear:)

About the A time, it's calculated from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep, so I'd recommend around an 1 hr of A time, but of course try to follow his cues as well, such as yawning, rubbing his eyes, etc.

When he is crying, can a pick him up and rock him until he stops crying - then be still with patting and shushing? Then put him down? He loves to be bounced up and down when he is fussy - it calms him down almost instantly.

That's totally okay, as long as you aim that he doesn't fall asleep while doing so, then it's perfectly okay:)

Good luck

[Kta400]

Thank you Yazzie! The past 2 days have gone really well. DS is needing less holding and is starting to go down for naps and bedtime with less fussing. The Shh/Pat method has really helped. I have question about paci's -

We never used a paci because DS just never took one. The other day I tried it again to see if he would be comforted (he was looking like he wanted to suck even though I just fed him). He took it and seemed very content. So the past 2 nights he has woken up at 12:30 wanting to eat and instead of feeing him, I gave him the paci to see if he would go back to sleep. He did for an hour and then was up again. I fed him at this point (I haven't started a dream feed yet but plan to tonight). I haven't used the paci for naps but am wondering if I should start when he is fussing in the crib and the shh/pat is not working? I don't want to get him hooked on the paci so I am not sure really when to use it. Any suggestions?

Thanks!
Katie

[Kta400]

Also, any advise on what to do when DS wakes up early from a nap and is still tired? Here is what happened today (any many other days!).

E: 7:30
A:8:00-8:30
S:8:30 *napped for only 42 minutes - still had an hour until next feeding
A: played until 9:55

E: 9:55
A:Already tired since he was up playing before we ate so only a quick play
S:10:27 - 11:20. I tried to Pat/Shh him back to sleep but he would not go back down after he woke up. He cried everytime I tried putting him back in the crib.

*Now here is our problem. He has an hour and a half until the next feeding and he is tired. We played for a little bit and then I swaddled him up to take another nap before 1:00. He is so OT at this point he starts screaming a ton. Finally calm him and use the paci to put him back down. He wakes up 5 minutes later crying. Now my husband is trying to put him back down.

Any suggestions!!! Here is our normal routine:

E: 7:00 - 7:30ish
A:
S: 8:15ish (usually only 45 minute nap)

E: 10:00
A:
S: 11:15

E: 1:00
A:
S: 2:15

E: 4:00
A:
S: 5:15

E: 6:00
A: Bath
E: 7:15
S: 7:45-8:00

[Yazzie]

About the paci, you could definitely try using it for naps and see how things go, if you're worried about it becoming a prop, you could plan to stop using it around 4 months.

Looking at your routine for today, it looks like your lo could use some more A time, as those 40ish naps maybe UT. If he still wakes early you could feed slightly earlier and cut down on the following A, by around 30ish minutes, following his cues.

Good luck

[Kta400]

Thank you Yazzie, I will give those suggestions a try!