21 month old monster! Don't know what to do!

[CCM23]

Hi everyone,
  I'm not sure where to even begin.  I have been on this website before trying to get my LO to sleep in his crib his first year.  Anyway, b/c of teething, husband working away and getting pregnant again he continues to sleep with us in our bed.  So here is where we are now:
- DS sleeps in our bed with us.  I read him books and then lay with him until we both fall asleep.  Being pregnant I need to go to bed just as early.  His bedtime is anywhere from 8:30pm-9:00pm.  I know it is way too late but with me and my DH working full time it is hard to get it any earlier.  DS sleeps until 6:30am-7:00am when he will wake up with us or we have to wake him up for me to go to work.
- DS goes to daycare 5 days a week.  Lady at daycare just lays him in bed and walks out and he will go to sleep for 1.5-2 hours each afternoon at around 12:30-1:00pm. 
- I am now 9 months pregnant and just off work and napping is a disaster.  He always wants me to rock him which i was giving into but now when we rock it takes 1-1.5 hours for him to go to sleep or he won't go to sleep at all.  He also wants to watch "Barney" on TV when we rock which is probably too stimulating.  Needless to say he is sooooo sleep deprived and he is an absolute monster.  He is having tantrums, screaming at the top of his lungs, hitting me and won't eat very good.  he is so much better when he has his sleep.
- I am so nervous for this new baby to come and I'm not sure how I am going to deal with 2 babies at home.
- also I am the only one who can put DS to bed or naps.  He has severe speration anxiety and has since he was very young.  It just makes it very exhausting to do it all by myself.  By mother helps a lot but she is the one who started rocking DS so I think she is making more work for us but I really can't give up her help.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on where to begin.  I am so tired right now that I don't think that I can do anything before this 2nd baby comes which will probably be anyday since I am 1 day overdue.  I just really need some support now to get me through this. 
  Please help!

[lpperry]

Sorry you are having a rough time.

Sine he goes to sleep fine at daycare by himself, we know that he knows how to go to sleep on his own and he can do it!

I have a little guy at my home daycare who just turned two--he naps well for me, but sleeps with mom and dad at home and does not nap regularly for them.  I have had others as well who nap at my house but not at home. In my experience, with the toddlers, it is all about expectation and consistency.  At my house, they have to lay down for a nap.  While I am nap training (which I had to do for all) I did all of the BW techniques, but I was consistent.  It took a long while, but the kids learned that naptime was naptime.  This didn't always carry over to home because the same amount of effort wasn't put into it.

Have you tried PU/PD?   You could do that, or I do a adapted version of this at this age.

With a 21 month old, I would put him in his bed and then stay in the room. Anyone can do this, so get help if you are about to have a baby! See what works for your guy, but I either have a hand on their back or I just sit by the crib.  If I am sitting by the crib, I bring something to do--like a book or I play on the computer.  I'm sure he will throw a nice fit, but eventually he'll get the idea that it is naptime and go to sleep. It depends on the kid of how long I stay in the room--with some I was able to walk out when they stopped screaming and laid down. With others I had to stay until they fell asleep for a few weeks.  It never took longer than 15-20 minutes though.

 

[anna*]

Totally agree with PP. Put him in his crib and sitn on the floor next to his crib, so that if he wants to be near you he has to lie down. He won't scream forever. He WILL eventually sleep. If you take him back into your bed, you will be taking 3 steps backwards. You can sleep train him, but you have to be totally consistent. At first you will stay with him until he is asleep, then you will move a bit further from the side of his crib, then a bit further, then you will just sit in the doorway to his bedroom, then you will leave once he is calm and only come back if he is really crying.

[babybarr]

I agree with Anna, he's also old enough to understand that mummy can't rock him now due to getting bigger with the baby.

I am hopping on because the mods will move you to toddler sleep soon as your LO is over one.  You'll get lots of eyes there too