Well, BLW really helped out with a lot of these issues for us! Mostly because I could prepare much of the same food for both boys, and for the whole family for that matter.
Another thought is if you prepare some stuff ahead of time and freeze it, so it's easy to grab and heat when the time comes?
For the early weeks I tried to stay really relaxed about DS2's eating. He basically joined in our meals and ate when we ate, BUT if for some reason I had to skip one of his meals (ie lunch), it wasn't a big deal. I wasn't really focused on 3 'meals' a day with him until probably 8-9mos. Remember bottles are more important and solids is just a bonus, so if you can't fit the solids in then don't worry too much about it.
As for the food smooching from both of them, just one of those things mamas gotta deal with I supposed!
I guess my biggest piece of advice, particularly if you are interested in BLW, is to make mealtime a 'family affair'. Do it all together, at once. Prepare meals you can all share, or at least that the kids can share, and then sit down all at once and enjoy. It takes a lot of the pressue off of you to prepare a whole bunch of different things, and to have to feed your LO's at separate times. I would prepare something for all of us, then we would all sit down and eat together.