13 month old biting me (persistently)

[weaver]

Argh.

I feel disloyal even posting this but I need some help here.  My LO is a very gentle little person but he has started biting me when feeding.  We had a bout of this previously when he would nip at the end of the feed and that seemed to stop when one night I reacted by saying 'ouch, no biting' (for the millionth time), then walked away, leaving his dada to put him to bed.  Right as rain the next morning.

So now he's started again. And last night, this morning and this evening, he seems to have barely had any milk, just biting.  He really took a chunk out of me just now  and it bloody well hurts.  The terrible thing is that he goes over to the chair where we feed, picks up the feeding cushion and basically invites me to a feed.  He's all happy about it.

When he bites, I say 'ouch, no biting' and I usually move him away from me but that doesn't seem to be working.  He bit me so hard I actually shouted a bit (as in real 'ouch').  He found that a bit upsetting. He is definitely OT this bedtime and he seems to be getting some teeth so that might have something to do with it.  After putting him to bed, I came down and pumped, both sides, and got no milk at all.  I can kind of feel some in there but it isn't coming out. 

I've recently gone back to work so I've started cycling again.  Could that be affecting supply?  Could lack of supply be making him bite?  I really need help as I can't feed him if he's biting rather than feeding, and I haven't got a back-up.  He's never had formula and doesn't really drink much other milk.  Also, he's started with a childminder, who he loves, and who feeds him lots.  Is it possible that he's getting so many calories that he doesn't need the feed? (Yet why would he be asking for it?)

Help!  What do I do?  We've made it this far with EBF and it would be nice to continue for a while.  Don't want to give up just because it hurts me.  But perhaps it would be saner to make a switch now?

[Vicku]

Hi Anne,

Firstly congratulations on BF for over a year!
I have had the same problem with my DD2 and it was actually around the same age that it started. For us, in hindsight, it had A LOT to do with teething and also partly just testing what she could do with those teeth and what happened when she did. One thing that is really effective for bitibg is to pull the LO quickly closer into your breast so that their nose gets covered, that will make them quickly let go and is also safer in terms of not making more damage to the nipple by pulling away and possibly scraping teeth/pulling nipple. It takes some conscious effort as our instinct is to pull away, but for me this method really worked and this phase didn't last too long thankfully. I also used to keep a close eye on her latch and could actually start seeing when she'd change it to bite instead of suck. It is impossible for them to bite when properly latched on as the tongue covers the bottom teeth, so they have to move the tongue out of the way and I learned to see that change and could stop her even before she had started biting. That helped a lot and she learned that there was no point to try after a while.
It is possible that he's not as interested in the feed if he's had a lot more solids than before, but it could just be a temporary phase due to teething and development, so see how you go in the next few weeks before making any changes. Yes, it is also possible that a lower supply and/or slow letdown could make him frustrated and bite because of that, but I don't think cycling would make a difference unless you were training really really hard. I was wondering though if you'd been dropping any feeds when going back to work? Dropping feeds can sometimes affect supply. Don't worry about not getting anything while pumping. At this stage your breasts can way outsmart a pump  and it is very common for women not to get much or anything at all after about a year. Doesn't mean there's no milk and you can still have a great supply even if you get nothing with a pump.
Also, if your nipples are sore or have broken skin, Lansinoh pure lanolin ointment is great for healing and soothing.

Vicku

[weaver]

Hi Vicku,
thanks for your calm sane voice!

You asked a question so I'll reply to that and then tell you what's happened since.  We haven't dropped any feeds with me going back to work - we had already dropped them, keeping only wake-up and bed-time feeds.  That is, the morning 'snack' feed was already gone and a week or so before I went back to work, I did the 'don't offer, don't refuse' approach with the afternoon snack feed.  He isn't bothered about it most of the time, particularly if I'm not there.  Like I say, he eats pretty well on solids though I'm also trying to get him started on drinking some other form of milk so he's ready when the time comes to wean the evening feed (or I can go out occasionally since pumping is a wash-out).

We may have had a breakthrough last evening.  He asked for his feed, we sat down, he fed for a couple of seconds and then bit (thankfully not too hard this time).  I did the usual drill (ouch, no biting etc). He seemed really frustrated, almost like the teeth were taking over and preventing him from doing what he wanted to do - feed!  So then I turned him away from me and held him on my knee, talked to him a bit and he calmed down a lot.  We then tried again and he did a really good long feed on both sides, no biting. And there was PLENTY of milk!  This morning, I watched him like a hawk to pre-empt any biting and we got another good feed.  Actually, just as he was going in for the chomp, I managed to stop him and remind him 'no biting' etc.  We'll see what happens next.  I'll try to use the pull-in approach you mention, sounds like a good gentle one.

When I saw how frustrated he was by it, I think the penny really dropped that this is another learning point for him and he needs a lot of help with it.  Hope to get BFing back to the oasis of calm it used to be. (Once we learned how to do it!)

Thanks again!
x

[Vicku]

Hi again,
From what you say it doesn't sound like a supply issue and sounds like you're making progress. Hopefully it's just a phase and he will learn not to do it and keep control of those little teeth. Let us know how it goes