So Defeated :( Advice appreciated ASAP..Really bad day.

[vixter07]

My LO is 2 months tomorrow and have been doing a 3 hour EASY. Yesterday she went to my inlaws where they decided to keep her awake for 3 hours straight and then push her one feeding to 4 hours since she was then sleeping. I am beyond frustrated with them and their "help" does more harm than good. Regardless, now my day has been a complete mess and I am at my wits end. This is what EASY typically was looking like:

8:00- E- this was decreasing from 5oz to about 3.5 in the recent days
9:05-11 -S
11- E (4-5 oz)
12:15 -1:15/1:30ish- S
2:00 E (4-5 oz)
3/3:15- 3:45/4:00- S (this nap has proven to be difficult for several weeks)
5- E (4-5oz)
6:15-7 or 7:30 (this nap was getting shorter too)
8- E (4-5 oz) Bedtime (asleep around 9:30)
11- Dream feed
4:30- NF
LO was starting to shorten naps and spend more time awake and not always eating the full 5 oz that I was offering so I was thinking of going to a 3.5 hour EASY but she sometimes was still waking before her 3 hours hungry and tired after 1 hour..so didn't think I could increase her A time quite yet. Yesterday was as follows:
8- E
9:35-10:10-S
11-E
2-3 S
3-E
5:30-6S
6-E
8:00 S
10:20- DF
4:20- NF

Today she was in such a mess:
8- E (3 oz)
9:45-10:45 -S
11- E (4 oz) She maybe dozed for about 15 minutes and then was acting starving again
12:45- E (3 oz)
1-1:45 S
2:20-3 S
3:10-3:45 S
4 E (5.25 oz)
Resisted nap again OT- but won't fall asleep
6:40 E (5 oz)
Tried to Shh pat her and calm her to sleep from 7:15- 7:30 where she screamed her head off. So I took her for a walk
7:30- 8:30 S
She is now awake again and crying with DH (8:45)
Hoping to hold her DF off until 10

I spent the better part of my walk with her in tears as I am sooo frustrated. I don't want to do too much AP so want to get back to ssshh-patting her more religiously but am having a difficult time when all her afternoon naps are getting shorter and shorter (45 minute intruder). I will have to stick with trying to sneak in and calm her before 45 minutes or wake to sleep but am at my wits end. Should I be trying a 3.5 hour EASY or try to get her back on track with the 3 hour EASY even if she isn't always hungry at 3 hours? I really like having a routine/plan to follow so am so exhausted these last few days when everything has gone wrong. Also, I try to watch for her sleepy cues but sometimes I must be missing the cues because she seems wide awake and happy and then gets super cranky later. I'd love some advice or encouragement as I am very exhausted. DH just asked me to watch LO as he put her to sleep in the swing and he has to work on project. So I come downstairs and now she is awake again (8:50) and looking fussy. I just don't know what to do today or how to get DD back on track. HELP! TYIA.

[MamaLiz]

So sorry you are having a hard time! I don't have any wonderful advice for you - I'll leave that to the experts, but I wanted to tell you that it does get better! At two months, my LO was all over the place, including sleeping in my bed for naps - I was so desperate for sleep I'd nap with her to try to get some sleep and keep her sleeping longer - talk about AP! We were still nursing to sleep or rather she nursed and fell asleep every time, but only for about a half an hour and only if I held her, and then wake, play for a bit, nurse, fall asleep for 20-30 min and repeat. YIKES! Good for you that you've been on an EASY that works for you - when we found a routine that worked for us (at closer to 4 months) it was key for me to remember at times like these that she did do it before and can and will do it again if I stick to it. Growth spurts, shots, family functions, travel - so many instances in which we would get off due to APOP and I would be devastated to have to "start over", but each time it seemed like it was rough at first, but not as bad as before, and a little less each time as DD knew what was happening and what to expect. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone! Hugs!

[ZacsMumme]

Oh hun, IL can be great, but also very very hard to give clear boundaries too, esp when they don't agree with your way of raising your LOs.  

I would start heading towards a 3.5 hour EASY, but just gently. It is really really hard with 45 min naps, so sometimes you have to do EASAES. Your LO is still so little, if you feel you need to do AP to get her the sleep she needs sometimes, this is okay. Just be aware that you are doing it, mix it up a little, and try to get her to sleep independently with shh/patt when you can.

It does look like your LO is OT, it has probably snuck in...and now she is short napping. Those A times later in the day look too long to me, esp after short naps.
I would try to stick with an A time throughout the day between 1hr-1hr15 to start with and see how this goes. If you get a short nap you cant extend you will have to give more.

Have a nosy at some sample routines if you need some inspiration: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164027.0

How are your nights?

Big ((HUGS)) and hang in there

[vixter07]

Thank you both!
Nights are good (knock on wood) and have been since about 3 weeks. LO sleeps from after her bedtime until her NF (which I often have to get her up for) at 4:30 or 5:00. I don't let her go more than 6 hours from her DF until I feed her again. I am not sure when she would wake up if I didn't get her up...I fear it would be at 6:00 am and that would make it hard to have an 8:00 am start-of-day! I am not sure if/when I should just leave her to wake up on her own. It is currently 4:30 and I am preparing her bottle (she is still sleeping). Thank God for DH, he sent me to bed at 9:45 and got her to sleep finally at 10:00 and was able to DF her at 11:00. Hoping for a good day today; a fresh start. Today is also her 2 month dr appointment but no shots as these are being delayed (she is being referred to an allergist since my DH had reactions to the whooping cough vaccine as a kid). This appointment is at 9:30 am so she will have her nap interrupted first thing in the morning 
Wish us luck!

[Shiv52]

Having a look at your EASY I think OT is definately creeping in.  I would stick to a 3 hour EASY for the meantime.  LOs are generally 3/4 months before they start making the transition to a 3.5/4 hour EASY and I think at 2 months its too soon especially if you don't think she could handle the A time.  If feeds continue to be an issue you could certainly feed every 3.5 hours but still do a 3 hour EASY in terms of A and S. 

OK looking at your EASY:

8:00- E- this was decreasing from 5oz to about 3.5 in the recent days
9:05-11 -S
1hour5 A time got a 1hr55 min nap
11- E (4-5 oz)
12:15 -1:15/1:30ish- S
1 hour 15 A time got a 1hr/1hr15 nap
2:00 E (4-5 oz)
3/3:15- 3:45/4:00- S (this nap has proven to be difficult for several weeks)
1hour30-1hr45 A time got a 45 minute nap


So as A times are increasing naps are shortening and LO is getting more OT as day goes on.  I would stick to 1hr15 A time throughout the day but leave first A time as it is if its getting such a good nap.  A lot of LOs like their first A the shortest.  As day goes on you will want to decrease A time after a short nap slightly.  If you get an hour or more though I wouldn't reduce too much. 

It probably is time to cut that last nap and move to long long naps and one CN and aim for a 12 hour day and that will help.  So if wake up is 8am then bedtime at 8pm too.  Or is there a reason you do later bedtime?

[vixter07]

We have been aiming for 8pm bedtime but last night was just an off day where LO wouldn't go to sleep. Usually we do the 8:00 feed and LO is sleeping by 9:30.
Also, the A time at the end of the day is not longer. I try to get her down an hour or 1 hr 15mins after her bottle but this still results in the 45 minute naps. Believe me I am aiming for long naps during the day.
Refering to "It probably is time to cut that last nap and move to long long naps and one CN" does this mean LO does (tries for) 1.5-2 hour naps after the 8, 11 and 2:00 bottles but then only a short nap (cat nap of 45 minutes) after the 5:00 bottle to get her more tired for bed at 8:00? I really do like the 8 am wake and 8:00 pm bedtime so my DH does the DF and I can go to bed early (after LO) if needed! Anyone have advice why the morning feeds are getting smaller (3 instead of 5 oz)- generally I have to wake her for this. Maybe I should make the NF earlier or smaller (last night she ate 4.5 oz at 4:30).

Thanks!

[Shiv52]

Sorry that should have said TWO longer naps and a CN where possible!  Although until the short naps even out you will be stuck with an extra CN. 

Anyone have advice why the morning feeds are getting smaller (3 instead of 5 oz)- generally I have to wake her for this. Maybe I should make the NF earlier or smaller (last night she ate 4.5 oz at 4:30).

I think you have answered your own questions.  Often a night feed too close to wake up causes a LO to not feed as well first thing.  If your LO is making it through to when you are waking her I wouldn't do NF any earlier but you could just offer less at 4.30am.  How long will she sleep for if you just leave her or have you always initiated the NF?

We have been aiming for 8pm bedtime but last night was just an off day where LO wouldn't go to sleep. Usually we do the 8:00 feed and LO is sleeping by 9:30.

So bedtime is normally 8pm?  Or 9.30pm? 

Short naps can lots of times be developmental.  LOs sort out their night sleep in the first few months and you are doing great there and then sort their day sleep the next few months so it will get better! 

What is her form like when she wakes from these short naps?   Has anything worked to extend them?