shh pat doesnt calm my crying baby...help!

[Sunday212]

I have a 10week old on EASY more or less. He can nap for 30-40mins when i do shh-pat, but when he wakes up, he cries and cant calm down even if i do shh-pat. He cries so hard, he cant even notice the patting. I dont know what to do. I have just left to him to cry in my arms which can go on for up to 30mins, at which point, he gets tired and then i can do shh-pat and he falls asleep. Anyone know what this crying is about? Will it eventually go away if I continue shh-pat or should i find another way to soothe him?

[anna*]

It's OK. When you're starting out, it can easily take 30 mins or more of shush-pat before they eventually calm down. It may be that a routine tweak will help his short naps too, do you want to post what your EASY looks like?

[Sunday212]

Thank you for your help firstly. My LO's routine looks like this, with eat time varying by 15-20min depending on his napping/level of tiredness

7.00am  E
7.10am A
8.00am S - LO starts to fuss a little so i swaddle him and slowly walk around the living room which is active with my toddler which calms him
8.30am S - he gives a little scream so i take him to a dark room where his sleep area is, start patting him. loud music is playing in the background. i pat whilst held in my arms and i am standing. he nods off and i lay him down and continue to pat for 5mins. he sleeps soundly
9.10am he squeals, wakes up unhappy and his squeal continues to escalete  so i piick him up and start patting him. he cries and cries. calms for a few seconds, then cries. this continues till feed time.

10am E
10.10am A
9am S- same as above except sometimes he naps but most times he doesnt and just squeals and cries. i end up just putting his legs down on the bed with my arms around his neck and i lay next to him. this is the only way he will nap. he refuses to break contact with me. after the first morning nap, he has never napped on his own in bed
1pm E
1.10A
2pm S - as above but more difficult to soothe. unlikley to nap
4pm E
4.10 A
5pm S - as above unlikely to nap
7pm E
7.10pm A - play bath bedtime routine- massage, chat, sing in dim light
8pm S -spend 1.5hrs paating him to sleep in between crying. falls asleep in cot at 9.30pm
10.30pm dreamfeed
2.30am feed
4.30am wakes up and shh pat him back to sleep
6-7am wakes
7am E

Thanks very much

[anna*]

OK, I think he's just getting a bit overtired and overstimulated. At this age we would expect him to be able to handle about 1hr20mins MAX awake (including feeds) - and after a short nap, even less, maybe only 45-60 mins.

So the first thing is, re overstimulation, I know it must be so hard with a busy toddler around, but I am wondering if you could try having him in a sling for the first A of the day, so that he is close to you and therefore more relaxed. I would also start his wind-down earlier, so that you are getting him to sleep by about 8.15 (so starting to shush-pat around 8?). It might be that if he can get to sleep a bit earlier, he finds it easier to stay asleep.

Now, remember that if he still has a short nap, you will need to bring his next nap earlier. Don't keep it at 11am if he has woken up from his nap at 9am or he will be overtired for sure.

Finally I think bedtime needs to be earlier. If he wakes at 7am I would aim to have him in bed and asleep for the night by 7.30pm at the absolute latest. If he is awake for the day at 6am, then bedtime is 6.30pm. If he has had short naps all day and been resisting sleep, then I would do an even earlier bedtime. Again you may well find that helps him to fall asleep easier without you having to spend hours with him.

[Sunday212]

thanks a lot anna, i will give it a trytoday :}