Going out & bedtimes

[toffer]

Just wondering what other moms do about evening visits with LO's. My mom wants me to come visit for BBQ dinner but with my LO eats at 5, bath at 6:15 and nursing then BT not sure how to manage. Should I skip bath then nurse and let him sleep in car on way home? Last time we tried he stayed awake the whole way. Lost 1.5 hrs sleep that time since we are over an hour away. We are in 2-1 nap transition and he sleeps good but I am always managing my life around his eat/sleep schedule. Wondering if I being too strict about things being "just so" for my bub. Also every time we try something different it takes a week to fix sleep pattern again so it is good motivation to keep it the way he likes!
We could do lunch instead, but I am getting flack about letting bub run my life and pressure to do things like this. I obviously would rather do lunch and keep him schedule as normal as possible.

[Shiv52]

I tended to weigh it up.  If it was something important...FIL's 60th, retirement, SILs 40th etc I rejigged things so we could attend.  If it wasn't that big a deal then I'd just skip it and go myself if it was my family or send DH on his own if it was his family.  I have always been fairly flexible because my LOs are fairly adaptable and the pros (they really enjoy seeing people and enjoy the occasion) always outweigh the cons (OT the next day) and I do think its important to have a life too. 

That being said, if this was my situation:

 

Also every time we try something different it takes a week to fix sleep pattern again so it is good motivation to keep it the way he likes!

Then I would do less evening outings and if anyone wants to question you say you are more than willing to go if they are willing to come take over for a day to him DS catch up on sleep!

So because its a BBQ and not for an occasion I'd be inclined to make it lunch and go home for bed.  If its more important to you then go and skip the bath and nurse him quietly somewhere and hope he falls asleep on the way home. 

HTH x

[Roseii]

It's a tricky one and I must admit I am one for taking the opportunity for going out with the LOs in tow as it's quite rare! Tonight for example we stayed at my SIL's for tea, which with hindsight was probably a selfish thing to do with regards to DD2 as she was already OT However the girls had a lovely time and it's a Friday so I figured what the heck. Anyway, I get them both in their PJs before we leave and DD1 has a cup of milk (I'm afraid teeth brushing goes by the wayside on these occasions!) Tonight I left theirs at 7.45pm but I have stayed out a fair bit later with them before (I guess we end up doing this about once a month) DD1 will drop off in the car and 9 times out of 10 let me plonk her in bed. DD2 will drop off but wake up the second the car stops so I whisk DD1 up to bed, come back for DD2 and take her straight upstairs, into sleeping bag and milk in her room with lights v low, and I read her a short story. I have to say most of the time this works fine but tonight she took quite a while to settle, but that may have been because she was already OT. For me, I need them to be *a bit* adaptable, not easy to drag out every single night, but not melt-down central if every so often we want to push bedtime back by an hour or 2 iykwim...

xx

[grace annes mommy]

I think it really depends on the LO.  For us, we occassionally make the decision to go for a late night and hope for the best (special occassions like my brother's wedding, and even not so special occassions like a get together with friends we just really wanted to stay at).  But, in the case of my DD, we WILL pay for it.  This is just how she is, she's very perceptive to stress and other's feelings, and she loves her routine. So, without doubt, I know we'll get NWs, or EWs, or her behaviour will be horrendous.  That's just how she is.  Other LOs are much more flexible than she is.  It's just about knowing your LO, and deciding what he can handle and what, if any, the trade off may be and being prepared for that. 

[brenda2]

i agree with others and just want to add that it does get easier as they get older.  both my girls have become much more flexible as they are getting older.  now if we stay out until 8:30 or even 9 i don't pay much for it the next day but a year ago, or even last Christmas was a whole different story.

12 mo is  a hard time for sleep with the 2-1 switch and so i would probably opt for a lunch or late afternoon thing rather than push the bedtime thing, knowing that it will get easier and you won't be tied to early bedtimes forever.

[ikesmummy]

My youngest is also a real stickler for routine. A few months ago one late night could take us a week it more to recover from. I got a lot of stick from people who thought I was just being awkward when I said we couldn't do things because of his bedtime but unless it was an important occasion I just explained it wasn't worth it. The last month or so things have really changed, he sometimes even tags some missed sleep on in the morning which I never thought I'd see as late nights always used to mean an EW.