2 1/2 years, Big bed move & OT

[PeanutSmith]

Hello there!

I've posted in  "Discipline & Socialization Skills" and have been advised here for a bit of help.  My two and a half year old has had some big changes in the last couple of months.  She had a new sister arrive at the end of June and also she has moved to her big bed, affectionately known as her 'good girl bed' -her name for it not ours, please don't think we don't let her sleep in her bed if she's not been good! We've had no problems in the transition and not woken up in the night, or even left the bed in the morning-she still calls us into her room.  Had a few nights on the second week with her crying about an hour after going to bed, but that I'm sure was to do with those naughty back teeth.

We're having some problems with her hitting and having meltdowns and I think this is because she is OT (and the new baby).  Since we moved her to her big bed she's been waking up much earlier (6:30/7:00 whereas she used to sleep until 7:30-8:00) and therefore much more tired in the day, her nap has moved from 12:30-13:00 to 10:30-11:30 and she's only sleeping for and hour, maybe 90mins where as she used to sleep for over two hours.  This makes for a long afternoon and by dinner time she just is so upset and can be set off into crying and crying by the littlest of things-like the giving her the 'wrong' cup or get frustrated when tidying up if things aren't going into the box easily.  Whenever we're out and about in the car she tells me she's tired (funny how she won't admit that at bedtime) and it makes me feel bad that I'm taking her out when she's tired, but I doubt we'd ever leave the house if I waited for her not to be tired!  She seems to want to lay on the sofa with a pillow and watch a film (which up until about a month ago would never sit still for longer than 15mins) with a really glazed look on her face, and it's a bit sad seeing her so lacklustre.

She seems to need 13 hours sleep at night, and still needs at least two hours in the day.  I understand that seems a lot for her age, but that's when she's happiest.

Can anyone give me some advice?

Thanks.  Catherine.

[sianie]

Hi there...

Sorry for the delay in you getting a response.

Moving to a BGB & also dealing with a new baby are both pretty big things for your DD to deal with & it's pretty normal for sleep to go a little wonky whilst she adjusts.

Can you post what her routine currently looks like (i.e: wake-up time/ nap time & length & what time she goes to bed).

Does she have all her teeth through yet? 2nd yr molars can cause sleep issues too so I'm wondering if this could be part of the problem?

Does she have a Gro-clock or something similar to help her understand time to wake/go to sleep, it's worked really well for my DD & we introduced it when she was a similar age to your DD?

Sleep needs do also tend to change at around 2yrs old so it could also be that this is also part of the issue.

[PeanutSmith]

Thank you for the reply.  We've been away so just reading replies now!

Her routine is as follows:

Wakes 6:30-7:30
E 9:00
snack 10:30/11:00
Nap: 11:30/13:00 (depends when she gets up in am) and lasts for about 1 hour to 90 mins
snack 15:30
E 17:30
Bed: 18:45-19:00

If the day is going bad I move dinner to 17:00 and try and get her in bed by 18:30.

The last 4 days she has been teething, and has been pretty upset with it.  We've really struggled to get her to bed the last couple of nights, but that's down to teeth.

I've been toying with the idea of buying a gro-clock, they seem really expensive and wasn't sure if it would work.

Her behaviour is getting really bad, I've never seen her like this and I'm really struggling!!  She's tired and teething and I'm cutting her slack because I understand she's not feeling 100% but I'm a little lost with how to improve things.

[sianie]

Everything you described smacks of teething (coupled with the other changes she's gone through; new bed/ new baby etc)...unfortunately, 2nd yr molars are by far the worst teeth for LO's to teethe & although can't be blamed entirely for bad behaviour, they certainly don't help!

Are you getting any NW's? Have you been given meds before sleeps (ibuprofen based ones rather than paracetamol work better for teething).

The only thing that sticks out from looking at her routine is that her AM A-time is on the low side, only around 5hrs...have you cut this back because of the OT/teething?

I have a Gro-clock for DD & it's worked really well for us......not sure whereabouts you are but Amazon had a deal on them recently.

[PeanutSmith]

Ok I'm hanging tight and I'm hoping the biggest problem is teething and not that I'm raising a child that I want to give an asbo to.  Poor kid, it's really a bad design having to cut through gums to get teeth.

Yes i've moved her am nap earlier since all this funny business has started. Since about Jan this year she's been sleeping in until 8:00 and her naps over the months had moved later and up until about 4 weeks ago she was napping at 13:00.

She's woken up once as a NW and was crying a little, but she re-settled herself.  It's been hard getting her to go to sleep, but once she's asleep she's been ok, until she wakes sooo early in the morning.  She's been having Nurofen, never used calpol as was pretty shocked at the e-numbers in it.

I think I'll try the gro-clock.  My other hesitation with it, is that even though she's in her big girl bed she doesn't get out of it, she just calls out if she wants us to come in.  I think if she had to spend time in her room she'll work out how to get out of bed, I dread the battles she could have with refusing to get back into bed!  She's normally pretty easy going and easily persuaded, so I'm seriously hoping this will pass.

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate you spending time helping me out.

[sianie]

I do wonder about that nap being too early...I totally understand your thought behind it as she's clearly tired but sometimes having a nap too early can actually re-inforce EW's as LO's haven't had enough A-time between their night time sleep & nap. How many hours is currently sleeping at night?

[PeanutSmith]

Hi there, she is sleeping 11 hours, sometimes 11 1/2.  She has always slept for 13 hours at night. Not sure how many she should be having, I assume 12.

[sianie]

Around 11/11.5hrs at night for her age is around average (see below link FYI):

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85137.0

[PeanutSmith]

Thanks for this.  I put her down at 12:45 today and she was awake by 13:50, she's not happy but maybe that's teeth mixed in too.  Thank you very much for the link, and your help!