Need help with EWs!

[newmama12]

DS is just over 14 months. I'm having a difficult time getting him to one nap for a variety of reasons. Mostly b/c of dd's afternoon preschool schedule. I have to leave at 12:15 to drop her off and I have to leave at 2:40 to pick her up. It's proving difficult to get ds to a 1 nap day that will work nicely with her schedule MWF. Then we have his EW issues. There is no way he can stay up for 5+ hours when he's up before 6am every morning. He is seriously tired by 9am and wants to sleep. He's crabby, clinging, crying, fussing, rubbing eyes, laying his head on me. All the typical 'tired' signs for him. If I lay him down, he has no problem and will fall asleep in 5 minutes or less.

I'd like to fix these EWs b/c they're just adding to the problems and if I could get him to sleep in later, I might have a better chance of getting to the 1 nap sooner. Here's what seems to be his schedule lately:

5:45am WU
9:30-10 nap (I always wake him)
MFW 12:50-2:30ish nap (I typically wake him MWF). On days when there's no school for dd, I push his PM nap till around 1/1:15 and let him sleep till he wakes. Mostly 1.5, but sometimes 2 hours.
7:00 BT (give or take 10 minutes depending on PM nap). He usually is asleep in less than 5 minutes. He seems just exhausted by BT.

He has been waking up fussy and whiney. Almost like he's still tired but can't go back to sleep. I try and keep him in his bed till as close to 6:30 as possible. Then he's crabby all morning until that 1st nap. It's getting tough to deal with. He seems to be a big day time sleeper. If I let him, I bet he would sleep 3 hours a day (2 naps, since we have never actually tried for 1).

I don't know what I should do at this point. Ideally, I'd like his WU to be no earlier than 6:30am. His wake time doesn't seem to be more than 3-3.5 hours in the AM and about 3 hours to the PM nap if he's had a 30 minute AM CN. I have, yet, to try 1 nap b/c it just isn't working. The other day I attempted and kept him up till 10:15 (after a 5:50am WU). Then I woke him at 10:35. The PM nap backfired and he only slept an hour b/c he was so OT (at least, that's what I assumed). I think I was just a little nervous about putting him down too early for the 1 nap and then having a super long PM (assuming he napped less than 2 hours). Ideally, transitioning to the 1 nap should start off around 11am, right? That's almost impossible when he wakes so darn early.  

Sorry this is so long! Just trying to get all our issues and all my thoughts down. Thanks for reading and any advice, I would greatly appreciate.

[sianie]

Hi there...

It's always tricky when you have to fit naps around drop offs/pick ups. Do you have an idea of what routine you are aiming for that work work around pre-school timings?

The 2:1 transition can cause EW's for a lot of LO's.

Is there any teething going on? It's around this age that 1st year molars start to come through & these can throw sleep off....

To get to 1 nap, LO's need to be able to comfortable handle around 4.5/5hrs A-time. Most LO's when they first transition are napping around 11am for as long as they need (around 2hrs or so ideally) & then the nap gets gradually pushed back towards midday once they start to adjust.

Does this help?

[newmama12]

Thanks for responding, Sian! Yes, ideally, starting with a 1 nap/day at 11am would work nicely. However, if we go that route, the longest he'll be able to sleep is 1 hour 10 minutes on dd's school days. I have to leave to drop dd off MWF at 12:15, the latest. We usually leave around 12:10. This is why, like today, I've kept him on 2 naps. The morning being 30 minutes max. So...that will not work on her school days. Ugh! On her non-school days, I can give that a shot. Will he be confused if some days he's taking 2 naps and other days 1 nap?!
To top it off, he has never ever made it anywhere near 11am for a nap. Seriously. He is soooo crabby and tired by 9:30 am. It's gonna be tough to hold out till 11. Such a situation we have here. A double whammy, of sorts!

Yes, teething is a big issue too. The molars are swollen and bulging down. I can also see two more bottom front teeth, so he's working on those as well. Even when he's not teething we seem to get EW's though too. So, not sure how much that is playing into the whole situation. I'm sure some, though!

[sianie]

It might be that out of necessity that you have to have 1 routine for days at home & another for school days...I'm not sure what else you can do to work around it.

Teething can exacerbate EW's in LO's & make them worse in LO's who are already EW'ing. Are you giving meds before sleeps? You could think about doing a meds dream feed (give teething meds with an oral syringe whilst your LO is still asleep) in the early hours (1/2am)...it has worked really well with my LO's in giving us a slightly later WU.

Teething does make LO's more tired & also if he's used to napping at a certain time then his bodyclock will naturally make him feel tired at that time, even if he isn't. EW's are tricky to balance, as doing a nap too early in the AM can compound EW's.

On school days, you could try doing a short 20/30 min catnap at around 10am & then a longer PM nap at 1pm until you have to leave to do school pick-up, then on non-school days you could pushing the nap later & letting him sleep as long as he needs to?

[newmama12]

I give him teething tablets before bed which seem to help a lot. However, last night he woke around 2:30 am, fussed for a few minutes and went back to sleep. I contemplated going in to give him more teething tablets but he was back asleep so quickly that I didn't. Had to have been teeth b/c he doesn't usually wake at night! He woke again around 5:00am and then 5:45 for the day. Ugh! Figures that today is a non-school day and keeping him up until 11 is going to be a challenge.

However, what you said makes a lot of sense and something I never thought about. But I do wonder if his body is just 'use to' going down for a nap around 9/9:30 which is why he exhibits all the signs and wants to go to bed at that time. A lot of other mamas on here have told me that I need to push that AM nap out to 10am, but I didn't think it was an 'issue'. Now I do. I'm really thinking his body is just use to going down at that time. Thanks for pointing that out! I mean, sure, he's tired. He doesn't have very long 'A' times yet (I'd say 4-4.5 max in the AM). But I need to try and push those times out a little and push thru the crabbies! I'm hoping it'll be better for all of us once we can get onto 1 nap 4 days a week and we'll just have to do the 2 naps on dd's school days. I'm going to try and hold him off till 10 on MWF for that AM nap. I might have to cut it at 20 minutes b/c if I let him go the full 30, he might not be quite tired enough to go down at 12:45 when we get back home. I'm not sure though. I'll just have to play around with it and see what we can work out.

[sianie]

Yes, I would push through it & stick to a 10am nap time....it will take a few days for him to adjust but if you hold the line it will work.

Good luck & keep me posted! 

[newmama12]

Thanks for all the advice! I decided to 'go for it' today since dd had soccer at 10am. Even though he was up at 5:45, I didn't have him nap at 9am. We went to soccer and he ran around for over an hour. Good thing we were less than 10 minutes from home b/c he was almost asleep in the car. I had to keep talking loud to keep him awake. LOL! Got him home and in bed by about 11:20. I hope he takes a good one or I'll be paying for it later since he'll be OT. But, really, that was 5.5 hours A. A LOT for him, so I'm not going to hold my breath. We'll have to see how long he sleeps for...

ETA: Ugh! Woke up crying at about the 50 minute mark. Just great! Totally OT now.

[sianie]

Yes, sounds OT....I would have got him down by 10am. Don't give up...tomorrow is another day! 

[newmama12]

If he's up by 6am or earlier and I put him down at 10, do you think that's an ok time to go for 1 nap? At least until he either sleeps in later or can make it to 11:00. Or if he goes at 10 it should only be for a 20 minute CN?

[clairebear79]

Hiya Cyndie 

IIWM I'd probably do a very short 15mins max CN at 10am, & go for the long nap after lunch, that way you have best chance of him not being OT at BT, and of keeping BT to its usual time.  It should also help to pull your WU later. 

Having said that, we are now well & truly back in the EW club  after trying to drop AM nap, & are getting it whether we do 1 nap or 2,  ::)so you may choose to take my advice with a pinch of salt!  We are actually also doing a long AM nap at 10.15am today, as DS was up at 5.30am.  I will then try for a car CN later this afternoon.  I think I need to go back to the very short MN too.

[sianie]

If he's up by 6am or earlier and I put him down at 10, do you think that's an ok time to go for 1 nap?

It really depends on how long he naps for....if he does a really good long nap (2hrs plus) then you may be ok for 1 nap (although you'd still need to do an early BT).

TBH, I think for now, until you are able to push his nap later I would stick with a 20/30min CN in the AM & then do a longer PM nap.

[newmama12]

Thanks ladies! I plan to do the 10am naps from now on. Just gotta push thru that crabby 9-10 am hour! I'm hoping that I can get him to 'get use to' napping a quick CN at 10 and then going down again around 1-2:30 on dd's school days. On other days, I'm hoping to push that PM nap out a tad later. Then, once, he's comfy getting to 11:00 (even if he's waking at 5:45/6am) we can try and go for 1 nap!

Claire, sounds like O and J are on similar paths again with the EWs. Ugh! Feel for you, girl! I have been contemplating trying out a long AM/short PM. I have one issue with that, and that's that I want some free time while dd is in school - LOL! If I do the CN at 10, I now he'll sleep around 1:00 again, which she's in school, and I can get some stuff done. If I go the long AM route, he'll be up while she's in school. Therefore, I don't get much done.
He's, actually, a great sleeper and he loves to sleep. Only issue is that he prefers to sleep more during the day. Of course, I'd rather see 12 hour nights and 2 hours naps, then 10 hour nights and 3 hours of naps. He just can't seem to handle more than 4.5 hours. And that's ok. We're just going to have to wait it out. We go on vacation next month to Disney World and maybe he'll make the switch to one nap then since we'll be out all day in the parks. Not sure how he's going to with napping in the stroller and such. Wish us luck - LOL!