Breaking the suck-to-sleep habit in NWs

[ellenjess]

Hi
My DD is 4.5 months and has quite a firmly entrenched habit of sucking to sleep.  During the night she wakes at 3-5 times, and often only sucks/flutters.

I'm going to start teaching her to settle herself at bedtime (hopefully next Friday - just info gathering atm) and feel quite confident (an a bit apprehensive!) that I'm doing the right thing.  I plan to  do the 4Ss and shh/pat, then PU/PD.  That's bedtime sorted but can I please ask what the best thing to do is during the NWs??  I have no issue feeding her in the night if she is hungrybut I know she is often only sucking to get back to sleep as that is what I have accidentaly taught her. 

Should I offer the breast to check if she is hungry, but remove it if she isn't?  (Followed by shh/pat, PUPD?) 

Thank you!!

[Bex09]

Hi, it would probably be best to pick a time that you wouldn't feed before and then stick with that. So if your DD has a DF at say 10pm then maybe not feed until 1 or 2am and only if she wakes. Then don't feed again until 3 or 4 hours after that feed if that makes sense.

For other NW you should be consistent and use the same approach as you use to sleep train, so shush/pat. PU/PD is really only used as a last resort at this age when no other method works. So try shush/pat first or maybe rubbing her back or singing if the shush/pat isn't working. HTHs.

[ellenjess]

Thanks Bex, that really helps.  I normally DF 3 hours after her last feed - so usually that's 10.30pm.  I know full when if she wakes before midnight, she's just unsettled, even at 2am last night she wasn't hungry.  I'll pay close attention to this week's NFs and decide upon a realistic time.

Should she wake hungry, I'll feed and then shh/pat back to sleep rather than allow her to suck.  I only mention PU/PD as I know she can really cry when she doesn't get what she wants (boob) so I'm preparing for the worst, hoping for the best.

[Bex09]

Sounds like you are really preparing well for this hun, that is great. If you know she isn't hungry before a certain time then that is a great way to set a time that you are not going to feed before. Just bear in mind if your DD is going through a growth spurt then she may need feeding earlier.

I would try to stick with the shush/pat or similar at first hun, there will be some crying, there always is with sleep training as your DD will be protesting that "this isn't how we do things mama!" But stick with it as you are there for her. You can always PU if she is getting really upset and not settling, just try to put her down again once she is calm and then carry on with your shush/pat in the cot. Good luck with it and let us know how you get on. Here to hold your hand if you need it.

[ellenjess]

Thanks Bex, you are a star    I know this is the right thing to do and I feel like it's a good method - I have confidence in it.

I won't leap into PU/PD but I am expecting to need to do it.  She ocassionally cries in the car if she is OT and wants to suck to sleep - but obvioulsy can't as I'm driving.  She settles within 5-10 minutes, so I think this will be my bench mark, if she is getting more hysterical beyond this point, I'll PU/PD.  I'd welcome any comments from folks reading this if they think this is a reasonable time frame.


thanks, as ever.

[Bex09]

I think that is fine. TBH you will probably be able to tell more from her crying and the 'type' of cry if she is really upset than by a set time yk? So you will know when she is beyond the point of settling with shush/pat and maybe needs PU/PD just by being with her an listening to her cries.

Just had another thought, when we used shush/pat for sleep training at 4 months with my DD we also used white noise. When she cried when initially put down we turned it up quite loud and that used to stop her crying instantly and we could then shush/pat and turn the volume back down gradually.

[ellenjess]

Great, thanks for the tip.  DD has been going to sleep with white noise on my ipod (on a loop all night but I turn it down once she's fully asleep) for about 2 months now so she is used to the sound, but I will turn it up louder if needs be. She stops crying if I switch the hairdryer on so it stands to reason that this could help us.